Mama, Were All Full of Lies
Mama, We're All Full of Lies.
"Mikey!" The sudden banging on the door made me yelp and nearly drop my glass pipe. I've been in this damn bathroom for at least half an hour.
"What Gerard!" I yelled in an irritated tone.
"What the fuck are you doing in there?! C'mon, the show starts in less than three minutes!"
"Alright! Calm down!" I brought the pipe filled with the deadly white pixie dust up closer to my nose. Plugging in one of my nostrils, I quickly snorted up the heroin. The sudden sensation of the burning and tingling in my nose traveled up to my head. Taking in a deep breath and rubbing my throbbing head, I cleaned up my mess and left the bathroom. And Gerard thought he was the only guy in the band with drug addiction.
The concert went well, everyone, as always, thought I was acting normal. But, I didn't feel the same. I didn't feel 'me'.
I tried to remember back to why I even wanted to try this shit. This shit that makes you feel like shit but it leaves you craving for more. I sighed heavily and ran my fingers through my hair.
-Flashback-
"Hey Matt d-do you have it?" I asked sheepishly. No one could see our exchange through the jet black darkness of a smelly alley.
"Do you have the cash, Mike?" He asked with his creepy, husky voice.
"Oh y-yeah! Here." My shaking pale hand, gave him the 80 dollars I saved from all my allowance. In the back of my mind, I knew there where better things to buy with eighty bucks other than crack.
He handed me the tiny little bag and, a little too eagerly, I snatched it. "Thanks Matt." But by that time he was gone. I shoved the bag in my trench coat pocket and walked back home.
-End Flashback-
I remember that night as if it were yesterday. That one night on my senior year in highschool that had completely changed my life.
Even though my band mates and friends don't say anything about how my personality has changed, I can still see the confusion and worry in their eyes.
I laid in my bunk and starred into the darkness as everyone slept. I was always awake, I never felt like sleeping. And you could tell every morning. It seemed that I was just looking scarier and scarier with each passing day. But still no one ever said anything.
"Hey, Mikey... You asleep?" I heard Gerard's voice coming from the bunk above me.
"Uh, yeah. I am." I sighed. I heard him slide down from his bed onto the isle. He came into my bunk with me and sat across from me.
"Hey, uh. Mikey I... I think we need to talk."
Shit. "A-about what?" I stuttered.
"Mikey, I think you know damn well what." He said firmly. I felt like I couldn't swallow and I started sweating.
"Look, Gerard I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied and never told you guys." I began quietly sobbing. "I j-just can't help it. It-It's just eating me on the inside out." I buried my head in my shaking hands." I felt Gerard's embrace. It felt nice letting that off my chest after so long.
"Shh. Mikey look at me." He said pulling my face up. "I know it's hard. I went through it too and I understand how you feel." He looking me in the eyes and hugged me again. I then Gerard start to cry too. "I just didn't know what to think, when I saw the heroin spread all over the sink." He sniffed. "I'm such a fucking dumbass of a brother, putting this kind of example on you."
"No, Gerard please don't blame yourself for this. It's not your fault. I chose to make the stupid decision." I then comforted him.
"I just dont wanna see my baby brother turn into the same monster I once was."
Those words just made me want to quit really bad.
"Gerard, look. I promise I'll stop." But I knew that was said than done.
"And I promise I'll help you get through it, okay."
"Okay." I smiled and hugged him again.
-Three Years Later-
"Where's the fucking money!" Matt yelled and forcefully punched me in the stomach. I fell to the ground and choked out blood.
"I'm sorry I couldn't come up with it, I'll have my next week I swear!" My voice cracked to the en of my sentence.
I knew I should have stayed with the program, Gerard and I had worked out. Letting him down (and him not knowing that I turned back to drugs) felt even worse that getting beat up by Matt. His hard fists jabbed my face, until I felt like I couldn't even open an eye. When I was on the ground again he began kicking me with so much force, I could feel one of my ribs break.
I was to hurt to notice that he had stopped beating me up. "Shit, it's the cops." I heard him mutter under his breath. I yelped as he suddenly lifted me up by my collar. "I wear if you rat me out, you'll end up dead! You got that clear, dip-shit!" He yelled.
I nodded as he dropped me back to the ground and ran off, leaving me to the cops. I heard the car park and footsteps run close towards me. I stood up and was about to run off also but it was too late. The copes had seen me with the tiny little bag next to me and it was already obvious enough to them.
The End.
"What Gerard!" I yelled in an irritated tone.
"What the fuck are you doing in there?! C'mon, the show starts in less than three minutes!"
"Alright! Calm down!" I brought the pipe filled with the deadly white pixie dust up closer to my nose. Plugging in one of my nostrils, I quickly snorted up the heroin. The sudden sensation of the burning and tingling in my nose traveled up to my head. Taking in a deep breath and rubbing my throbbing head, I cleaned up my mess and left the bathroom. And Gerard thought he was the only guy in the band with drug addiction.
The concert went well, everyone, as always, thought I was acting normal. But, I didn't feel the same. I didn't feel 'me'.
I tried to remember back to why I even wanted to try this shit. This shit that makes you feel like shit but it leaves you craving for more. I sighed heavily and ran my fingers through my hair.
-Flashback-
"Hey Matt d-do you have it?" I asked sheepishly. No one could see our exchange through the jet black darkness of a smelly alley.
"Do you have the cash, Mike?" He asked with his creepy, husky voice.
"Oh y-yeah! Here." My shaking pale hand, gave him the 80 dollars I saved from all my allowance. In the back of my mind, I knew there where better things to buy with eighty bucks other than crack.
He handed me the tiny little bag and, a little too eagerly, I snatched it. "Thanks Matt." But by that time he was gone. I shoved the bag in my trench coat pocket and walked back home.
-End Flashback-
I remember that night as if it were yesterday. That one night on my senior year in highschool that had completely changed my life.
Even though my band mates and friends don't say anything about how my personality has changed, I can still see the confusion and worry in their eyes.
I laid in my bunk and starred into the darkness as everyone slept. I was always awake, I never felt like sleeping. And you could tell every morning. It seemed that I was just looking scarier and scarier with each passing day. But still no one ever said anything.
"Hey, Mikey... You asleep?" I heard Gerard's voice coming from the bunk above me.
"Uh, yeah. I am." I sighed. I heard him slide down from his bed onto the isle. He came into my bunk with me and sat across from me.
"Hey, uh. Mikey I... I think we need to talk."
Shit. "A-about what?" I stuttered.
"Mikey, I think you know damn well what." He said firmly. I felt like I couldn't swallow and I started sweating.
"Look, Gerard I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied and never told you guys." I began quietly sobbing. "I j-just can't help it. It-It's just eating me on the inside out." I buried my head in my shaking hands." I felt Gerard's embrace. It felt nice letting that off my chest after so long.
"Shh. Mikey look at me." He said pulling my face up. "I know it's hard. I went through it too and I understand how you feel." He looking me in the eyes and hugged me again. I then Gerard start to cry too. "I just didn't know what to think, when I saw the heroin spread all over the sink." He sniffed. "I'm such a fucking dumbass of a brother, putting this kind of example on you."
"No, Gerard please don't blame yourself for this. It's not your fault. I chose to make the stupid decision." I then comforted him.
"I just dont wanna see my baby brother turn into the same monster I once was."
Those words just made me want to quit really bad.
"Gerard, look. I promise I'll stop." But I knew that was said than done.
"And I promise I'll help you get through it, okay."
"Okay." I smiled and hugged him again.
-Three Years Later-
"Where's the fucking money!" Matt yelled and forcefully punched me in the stomach. I fell to the ground and choked out blood.
"I'm sorry I couldn't come up with it, I'll have my next week I swear!" My voice cracked to the en of my sentence.
I knew I should have stayed with the program, Gerard and I had worked out. Letting him down (and him not knowing that I turned back to drugs) felt even worse that getting beat up by Matt. His hard fists jabbed my face, until I felt like I couldn't even open an eye. When I was on the ground again he began kicking me with so much force, I could feel one of my ribs break.
I was to hurt to notice that he had stopped beating me up. "Shit, it's the cops." I heard him mutter under his breath. I yelped as he suddenly lifted me up by my collar. "I wear if you rat me out, you'll end up dead! You got that clear, dip-shit!" He yelled.
I nodded as he dropped me back to the ground and ran off, leaving me to the cops. I heard the car park and footsteps run close towards me. I stood up and was about to run off also but it was too late. The copes had seen me with the tiny little bag next to me and it was already obvious enough to them.
The End.