Poisoned Apples and Poise

Spy Rule #3: However hard your mission might be, your job is to suck it up and work for the government.

"No, no no! It's right, left, right, left, TWIRL, right, left, HANDS UP, right, POUT, then right, left, right, left, right, left, POSE."

I frown at Etienne, my "become-a-pageant-contestant-in-less-than-a-week" trainer. I had been working on that same routine for an hour now, and I still can't get it. Patty has already mastered it, now sitting on the comfy armchairs, talking to someone on her Sidekick, chewing M&M's and drinking Perrier Water.

After finally pouting after stepping with my right foot, not with my left, Etienne breaks out a grin for the first time all day.

"Thank you, oh Gucci!" Etienne exclaims, running out of the room. I think I almost hear him crying for joy. I roll my eyes and turn to my mother, who at this point is probably asleep somewhere.

"Oh, no. Really? Okay, we'll be there right away, sir. Don't worry, I've got my best girls on the case." I hear my mom's voice echo through the hallways, as she enters Etienne's studio. I glance at Patty and see her smiling, and I can't help but smile as well. She just called me one of her best spies. And there was not better compliment than that.

"Girls, we have a problem." My mom says, and her mouth subtly turns into a tight "O". "Sir Jonathaniel felt stalked at the airport, and apparently he was being followed. He had to rush Mary here. So, we have to go pick her up now. She's coming in a week early, apparently."

Me and Patty smile. Of course, not at each other. We both would love to meet Mary. I secretly did some research on her, and she's so much like me! It would be cool to finally have someone understand me.

We're in the car, driving to the airport, when I get a text messege in my Sidekick.

divaundercover: sorry u hadda leave so early. wudda rocked to have u in the talent comp.
candidcam: i no, but ill still see chu after da mission
divaundercover: take care, chikka. heard jonathaniel's got some real dangerous guys tailing him.
candidcam: i promise ill take care lizzie
divaundercover: arrivederchi
candidcam: ciao

I suddenly feel my stomach clench. I missed my best friend, Lizzie, and I wouldn't be able to see her for about a month. But I guess you have to get used to it when you're a government-wanted spy.

"Ehmagawsh, is that Mary?" I hear Patty exclaim. I look out the window the same direction she's looking and I gasp.

Mary Walkerson was a walking Playboy ad. She had pale, flawless skin, and long, brown curly hair. She was sitting down on one of her huge Louis Vuitton suitcases. She was wearing knee-high black boots, and she was rhythmitcally tapping her heel on the sidewalk, listening to her pink iPod. She complimented her long boots by wearing a short pink FRILL&tulle miniskirt, and a small ill-fitting purple sports bra that said "MODEST" across from it. She was popping some bubble gum, mouthing the words to The Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani.

"Whoa." Me and Patty say at the same time.

The chauffer opens our doors and me and Patty strut out to meet her.

"Hey, Mary!" I grin.

No answer.

"Mary?" I ask again, wondering if she was ignoring me.

Patty pulls out an earphone. "MARY!" She screams in her ear.

Mary's eyes widens. She stood up and --get this-- she slapps Patty across the face. "What's wrong with you, b----?!"

Yeah. She called Patty the B-word.

"Hey, what's wrong with you!?" I ask her, glaring daggers into her skin.

"Shut up!" She screams, and she stormed off into the direction of where our limo was parked.

What the-?

Me and Patty both look at each other. And I think for the first time, we had something in common-- we both hated Mary Walkerson