Blue Bird.

Her eyes shone clean blue. Clear as day, clear as the single tear slipping down your cheek.

Desperately, you looked around the room, waiting and hoping that something; anything else would catch your attention. You counted the tile on the ceiling and rehearsed lines from a play you never auditioned for.

You sat with your head in your hands, prayed, and tried to remember every kid in your eighth grade class. Inside your head a war raged on, and you fought to ignore the screaming and cursing.

And while you sat there struggling with yourself, with your emotions, that little girl next to you was dying. Soon they’d cart her off to intensive care and you’d follow, a zombie from all these nights with no sleep and too many prayers to count.

She was playful and adventurous. You could sit and watch her jump around all day if you wanted. You could cuddle her close over and over again until your arms weren’t enough to hold her there.

A wide smile broke across your face thinking of everything you and your little girl would do together. You’d watch her grow up, you’d teach her everything you knew and then you’d let her out on her own, you’d let her fall from the nest so she’d learn to fly, so she’d discover all of the powers she held in those clear blue eyes.

***

The day after she turned three you found it. It sat, determined, to the right of her spine; purple and blue and oh so tender. From that they multiplied like rabbits. They were everywhere, covering her body.

You took her to the doctor and he spoke carefully, and admitted her immediately for treatment. It wasn’t looking good.

Soon, you’d hold your little girl’s hand as they stuck another thick needle into her rope of a spine and after that, after that you’d watch as they buried your baby in a pine box lined with pink velvet.

Soon enough you’ll be tucking a small bear into that pine box and a metal contraption will be tucking your little girl into that dirt hole. They’ll cover her with dirt, the same dirt that later, you’ll plant daisies on.

That night when everyone has left your small home, you’ll curl up and marvel at how quiet your home now is. You’ll come to despise that home and in maybe a month you won’t be able to call it a home at all. You’ll move to an apartment closer to your job, which you’ll focus and obsess over. With nothing else to occupy your time, you’ll start a business of your own, a dream you’ve had for a while, and it’ll become a huge success.

With years of hard work and sweat you make it, you’ll finally be able to smile and be proud of yourself. In this wonderful mood you’ll go out and buy yourself a congratulations present. You’ll stagger through stores until finally, you’ll find the perfect dress. The purchase is a good one. For the rest of your years, when you are sad or the silence gets to you, you will put on that dress and go to the cemetery.

Sure, after a while the color will start to fade, and it’ll start to fit a little closer to your body, but in your mind it is still the same clear, crystal blue as when you bought it, and it’ll always be filled with happy thoughts and childish laughter.

That’ll all come in time but for now, for this second, all you’ll focus on is drying those pretty blue eyes and whispering ‘I love yous’ into your baby’s ear.

And for now, that is all you need.