Beads.
Scattered Me Free.
I'm sitting on the rooftop, wait, standing now and I'm struggling on my wobbly worm legs as I chuck all the red, blue, purple, green, yellow, pink beads at the air. Those were my necklace and my prison. With every thrown bead I'm taking back, redeeming, parts of my broken mind; pink for love, yellow for sickness, green for happiness, purple for death, blue for insanity and red for affection. I'm throwing away what ties me to this world and these people. I'm setting myself free from the kicks in the gut, cigarette burns deep into my vertebrae and all your deadly deadly smoke-lips.
I'm on my wobbly worms legs sobbing and laughing, throwing beads at the air and breathing back my tears. I'm a bird with no wings and no feet, but I have my singsong throat; I'm a lioness with no claws and no fangs, but I have my name; I'm incomplete freedom; I'm damaged freedom. I'm freedom at its sweetest.
All the beads are scattering around the ground and all the stupid poor ignorant people are picking them up and looking at the sky. Yes, you're holding all what I used to be; all that I hate. You're going to thread it back together again, except it's yours now. I'm free without that interwoven clash of colors. I broke it. The girl with the broken mind and body pulled apart those beads and has a free neck now.
I'm singing because I'm happy. Ave Maria is my anthem, bellowing in my newly assembled brain, as I sit on the dusty rooftop and look at the little dots of color all over the ground. Little pieces of my life making the black asphalt look so pretty, like a piece of stuffed liquorice. The beads are little lights in the middle of a dead Christmas tree.
The sky, dark as the ground, smiled at me and my green, blue and red body. I smiled back and threw the black string at its face and I smiled. I smiled again and held my chest belting out laughter and sobs; salt with sugar. This feeling's sweet and saline and it tastes like shit and I'm happy because freedom is shit.
The beads are all over the place; the beads are everywhere.
They're all what tied me down to your kicks and your burns 'cause I just wanted to be loved. Your beads were love to me, the beads were love to me, you made the beads the beads that meant love to me. I'm alone tonight and I'll be singing on the ground and smiling.
I broke your beads and I can't fly no more, but I have what you want.
I'm a bird with no wings, no feet, but I'm free of your beads. The beads the beads that made me want to leave, want to be free. The bird with no limbs is watching the sun now. Sitting down on my wobbly legs, watching the red rays of sun bloody red peachy orange indigo lilac azure blue softer blue then lemon yellow.
Under the sun, I'm hearing Ave Maria in my head, laughing and sobbing and waiting for the world to wake up. I'm smiling so wide my lips are cracking up and I hear splitting sounds in my head, like I did when I broke your beads.
The sun's at full view now, it's smirking back at me and people are scratching their heads, yawning, being people and I just scream. I'm free.
"I'm fucking free."
And I cried a little bit more before I picked up two -red and pink- beads and hid them in my chest where they belong.
"I'm free." And I'm the singsong bird with the flapping feather-chocked shoulderblades and wriggling stubs.
Your beads were love, are love, and I'm just incomplete freedom.
I'm on my wobbly worms legs sobbing and laughing, throwing beads at the air and breathing back my tears. I'm a bird with no wings and no feet, but I have my singsong throat; I'm a lioness with no claws and no fangs, but I have my name; I'm incomplete freedom; I'm damaged freedom. I'm freedom at its sweetest.
All the beads are scattering around the ground and all the stupid poor ignorant people are picking them up and looking at the sky. Yes, you're holding all what I used to be; all that I hate. You're going to thread it back together again, except it's yours now. I'm free without that interwoven clash of colors. I broke it. The girl with the broken mind and body pulled apart those beads and has a free neck now.
I'm singing because I'm happy. Ave Maria is my anthem, bellowing in my newly assembled brain, as I sit on the dusty rooftop and look at the little dots of color all over the ground. Little pieces of my life making the black asphalt look so pretty, like a piece of stuffed liquorice. The beads are little lights in the middle of a dead Christmas tree.
The sky, dark as the ground, smiled at me and my green, blue and red body. I smiled back and threw the black string at its face and I smiled. I smiled again and held my chest belting out laughter and sobs; salt with sugar. This feeling's sweet and saline and it tastes like shit and I'm happy because freedom is shit.
The beads are all over the place; the beads are everywhere.
They're all what tied me down to your kicks and your burns 'cause I just wanted to be loved. Your beads were love to me, the beads were love to me, you made the beads the beads that meant love to me. I'm alone tonight and I'll be singing on the ground and smiling.
I broke your beads and I can't fly no more, but I have what you want.
I'm a bird with no wings, no feet, but I'm free of your beads. The beads the beads that made me want to leave, want to be free. The bird with no limbs is watching the sun now. Sitting down on my wobbly legs, watching the red rays of sun bloody red peachy orange indigo lilac azure blue softer blue then lemon yellow.
Under the sun, I'm hearing Ave Maria in my head, laughing and sobbing and waiting for the world to wake up. I'm smiling so wide my lips are cracking up and I hear splitting sounds in my head, like I did when I broke your beads.
The sun's at full view now, it's smirking back at me and people are scratching their heads, yawning, being people and I just scream. I'm free.
"I'm fucking free."
And I cried a little bit more before I picked up two -red and pink- beads and hid them in my chest where they belong.
"I'm free." And I'm the singsong bird with the flapping feather-chocked shoulderblades and wriggling stubs.
Your beads were love, are love, and I'm just incomplete freedom.
♠ ♠ ♠
Stream of consciousness again. It's fun :D