My Way Home Is Through You

Ray stepped back outside, feeling lost. He didn't know whether to scream or cry. Bob stood a few feet from the door, smoking a cigarette. He looked up as Ray leaned against the side of the bus in anguish.

"Ray? What's the matter?"

"She hates me. I broke my daughter's heart and she hates me," murmured Ray. Bob's angry glare softened and he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"She doesn't hate you," said Gerard. He stood at the door, watching his friends. "She's just a kid, Ray. You scared her, and you hurt her feelings. You broke a promise to her, and that's one of the worst things you can do to a kid. But she still loves you. She's just upset. She will forgive you."

“Did she really think I wasn’t coming back?” Ray asked.

“Dude, we didn’t know if you were coming back,” Bob said. Ray looked up at him in shock.

"I wouldn't leave her!" he said. "I'd never leave her. How could you even think that?" Bob and Gerard hung their heads and shrugged. "I just needed a little time to myself."

"Hey," said Gerard gently. "We know this can't be easy for you, man. And up until tonight, you've been doing a damn sight better than any of us would, I'm sure. But... For the love of God, don't do something like this again, okay?" Ray nodded.

"Okay," said Bob. "Let's go cheer that girl up, huh?"

The three headed back onto the bus and Ray mustered up all his courage to go back to his daughter's side.

"Anna?" he asked meekly. She didn't turn. "Anna." He placed his hand on her shoulder and gently pulled her toward him. "Baby, come on. You and me need to have a talk." She didn't resist as he scooped her into his arms and cradled her like a baby. She felt tense in his arms.

"Come on, honey, I'm here now," he murmured, heading toward the door. "Guys, we'll be back in a little while."

After carrying her back up to the hotel room, Ray sat his daughter down on the bed. Tears were trickling down her face once more, and he felt terrible knowing that he had caused them. Slowly, he reached out to wipe them away. She didn't pull away from him this time.

"Anna, I am so sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to scare you, baby. I would never, ever hurt you on purpose." Anna's lower lip began to quiver.

"Talk to me, sweetie, please," Ray said desperately. The little girl burst into gasping sobs.

"You said! You said!" she cried. "You promised! And you were gone!"

"Oh, baby, come here." He pulled her into a tight hug and she buried her face in his neck and cried.

"Shhhh," he mumured, rocking her as her sobs began to soften. "Shhh. I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry."

"You said," she sniffled.

"I know, you're right, I said," Ray agreed. "I said I'd stay, and I did a dumb thing, Anna. I made a big mistake." He kissed her gently.

"Can you forgive me, baby?"

The hurt in her eyes told him that he would have to prove himself to her. An idea suddenly sprang to his mind.

"Hey, can I tell you a story, Anna?"

She looked at him suspisciously. "A story?"

"Yeah," he said. "I think you'll like this. It's about your mommy and the first time I ever went out with her."

Anna seemed intrigued by this, and settled quietly into his lap. Ray cleared his throat and began.

"Your mommy and I were still in high school when we met. We had math class together, and I thought she was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen.

My friends kept teasing me and telling me I should ask her out. They made fun of me because they thought she'd say no." He smirked a bit at this. "But when I was finally brave enough to ask her, she said yes! And I was so scared, because I thought she'd say no, too!"

A small smile had crept onto Anna's face. This encouraged Ray to continue.

"So I asked her to go to a movie with me, and she said she'd love to. I wasn't expecting that! So we made a date, and when the time came to meet her at the theatre..." He paused.

"I chickened out."

The look of surprise on Anna's face was priceless. She was enraptured by his story.

"I sat in my car for twenty minutes while she stood outside the movies waiting for me." He shook his head. "I was too nervous! But when she finally gave up and figured I wasn't coming, she looked so sad, I had to get out of the car and say something to her. So I ran across the parking lot to talk to her, and she was so happy to see me!" He paused again. "Well, okay, she was a little mad at first, but when I told her I was just nervous, she was so nice, she understood completely.

So we went and got some burgers, then went to a later movie, and we had the best time ever! And when I took her home that night, she kissed me for the first time, and I knew right then that I loved her." He nodded. "I really did." The smile on Anna's face was bright enough now to light up the room.

"So, see, Anna, sometimes I chicken out because I get nervous," he said slowly. "But I always come back. And I'll always be here for you, baby. I promise."

She hugged him tightly and said, "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, baby." He smoothed her hair back and grinned at her.

"Hey, what do you say we get cleaned up some, then meet the guys and go out for a crazy night on the town?" he exclaimed. "How does that sound?"

"Yeah!"