My Way Home Is Through You

Ray wasn't sure just what woke him in the night, but when he looked at the clock, it read 2:13 AM. He lay staring up at the ceiling for a moment. He was surprised at how much he had missed his apartment and his own room. It felt good to lie in his own bed.

As he was beginning to doze again, he was jarred awake by a loud cry.

"Daddy!"

He lay for a moment, blinking the sleep from his eyes. Then he heard his daughter cry out again, more insistently this time.

"Daddy!"

Throwing back the covers, Ray tumbled out of his bed and rushed out to the hall. Pausing for a moment to get his bearings, he turned and entered Anna's room.

"Anna?" He blinked, adjusting his eyes to the light of the nightlight he'd plugged in for her earlier. "Baby, what's the matter?"

She sat up in bed with a confused, frightened look on her face. Her worried eyes immediately found his face and she began to cry.

"Where are we?" she asked, her lip quivering.

He knelt beside the bed. "Baby, we're here at home, remember?" She sniffled and nodded slowly. Her dark eyes stared into his own.

"What's the matter, angel?" he asked again. "Did you have a bad dream?"

With a slight shudder, she nodded and rubbed her eyes. He gently took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles.

"It's okay, sweetie," he murmured. "Everybody has bad dreams." He gently brushed a stray curl out of her face. "Do you want to tell me what it was about?"

Her face crumbled and she began to sniffle again. "Monsters," she whimpered. "And Mommy."

"Oh, Anna." He gathered her into his arms and kissed her forehead. Rocking her gently, he said, "I wish I could tell you these dreams would go away, but I can't. You'll probably have them for a little while. But soon they'll get nicer, and they won't be so scary." She said nothing, huddling closer to him in her silence.

With a heavy sigh, he spoke once more. "You know what? I had a dream about Mommy yesterday, too. And she looked so pretty, just like I remembered her." Anna's eyes met his, and he pushed himself to go on. "And she told me she loved me, and she loved you, and to take good care of you."

Upon hearing this, her head collapsed against his chest again with a pitiful whimper. He sighed and stroked her baby-soft hair.

"You know," he said in a quiet voice. "You look so much like your mommy. Her hair was as dark as yours, and you have the same nose as she did."

"Mikey says I look like you," she said, sounding confused.

"Well, you look like both of us," he said with a smile. "And I love that, because it reminds me of when me and Mommy were together." He pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, "I loved your mommy very much, Anna. And I love you more than anything in the world. And I promise that things will get better."

"I miss her!" Anna wailed.

"I know, angel, I know." Ray found himself having trouble holding his own tears back. "I miss her, too." He rocked her gently until her sobs quieted.

"Okay," he murmured as he felt her begin to go limp against him. "Time to go back to bed, sweetie. How about you stay with me in my room tonight? Would that help?"

She nodded slightly against his arm, and he scooped her up and carried her into his bedroom. He tucked her under the covers of his bed, then remembered something.

"I'll be right back, honey."

When he returned, he had Brownie Bunny in his hand, and he tucked the little rabbit under the covers with his daughter. Then he crawled into his own side of the bed, feeling relieved when his head touched the pillow. Swatting one of his own curls out of his face, he settled himself down to go back to sleep.

"Daddy?"

His eyes fluttered open once more. "Yeah, sweetie?"

There was a pause. "Will you sing me to sleep?"

"Sure, baby. But I don't have my guitar."

"That's okay," she replied.

"Did your mom used to sing to you?"

"Yeah."

So that's why she likes it so much. He smiled into the darkness. "Any requests?"

"Huh?" She sounded confused.

With a chuckle, he said, "Never mind, I'll think of something."

After a moment, he cleared his throat and began to sing.

"Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse byond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher
But I flew too high
Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think, I still was a madman
I hear the voices when I'm dreaming
I can hear them say

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more..."

He heard her breathing become steady and deep, and he knew she'd finally dozed off. He began to simply hum the song as he settled down beside her. Soon enough, he fell asleep, too.