My Way Home Is Through You

Clearing his throat, Lou gently took Anna from Ray's arms and said, "Come on, sunshine, how about I show you me and your dad's old room? We'll check out some of his old stuff while he and Grandma and Grandpa talk, okay?"

For a moment, Anna clung to Ray tightly, not wanting to let go. Ray closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers, then kissed her cheek and whispered, "It's okay, baby. Go on with Uncle Lou."

Though Mrs. Toro was still in shock over Ray's announcement, the affectionate exchange between her son and his daughter did not escape her. Her eyes softened a bit as Lou headed up the stairs with the little girl in his arms.

Swallowing hard, Ray tore his eyes away from the stairwell where his brother and daughter had ascended and looked to his parents.

"Well," he said after a moment. "Say something, please."

"What can you possibly expect us to say, Raymond?" his mother said wearily. "Congratulations? Hope you're willing to pay child support? Why didn't you tell us about this sooner?"

"Ray, where is Jenna?" his father asked, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

Ray sighed shakily. "Jenna died, Dad. A couple of weeks ago. She got caught in a storm and crashed her car. That's how Anna ended up with me."

"Oh, son," his father said, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry." Ray merely nodded.

"You didn't feel the need to tell your parents that you've had a child with your ex-girlfriend for the past five years?" his mother said slowly. She was still trying to take everything in.

"No, Mom, it's not like that," Ray said anxiously. "When Jenna broke up with me, she never even told me she was pregnant. I had no clue about all of this until she passed away and her Will named me as Anna's father. I didn't even know she had a little girl at all, I hadn't heard from her since the day we split up." He sighed and sat down on the couch.

"Look, I'm sorry things have happened the way they have, really I am. I wish to God that I'd have known about Anna sooner. I wish Jenna was still here." He shook his head and looked back up at his mother. "But this is just the way things have worked out."

Mrs. Toro sat beside him gingerly, but still said nothing, His father leaned against the wall.

"We've been getting along really well for the past couple of weeks. They guys have helped me out a lot, and Lou's been the best uncle I could ever hope for my daughter to have. I'm doing the best I can. But I still need you guys." He gazed imploringly from one parent to the other. "Please, please tell me you support me on this. I'm all the family she has. We're all the family she has. She needs me."

Mrs. Toro took her son's hand in hers and gave him a sad smile. "Honey, of course we support you. It's just..." She looked up toward the stairwell for a moment, then at her husband, then back to her son. "It's going to take us a little while to get used to being Grandma and Grandpa, okay?" Ray smiled and nodded.

"So what about Anna?" Mr. Toro asked. "How is she taking all of this?"

"Well, obviously it was a lot for her to handle, at first," answered Ray. "I mean, she's only four. She didn't take losing Jenna very well. It's taken quite a while for her to even be able to let me out of her sight. She's okay with Lou, and with the guys, but she gets upset if she's away from me for too long."

"Well, as horrible as it is that she's been traumatized like that," Mrs. Toro began, "it's a good sign that she doesn't like to be away from you, Ray. That shows that she's formed a very strong bond with you."

Ray grinned. "Yeah, she definitely has. And, to tell the truth, I don't like being away from her, either."

"What are your plans as far as the band goes, son?" his father asked slowly.

Ray was taken aback by his question. In all honesty, he hadn't much thought it would be an issue.

"I don't know, Pops," he replied. "We're on break for a good long while, and then we're planning on a lot of studio time. We haven't even discussed another tour yet."

"You don't plan to take a four-year-old on tour with you, do you?" his mother said.

Ray shrugged, feeling a bit frustrated. "I don't know, Mom. I'll figure that out when the time comes. Right now I'm still trying to adjust things in my life to be more... I don't know, fatherly. I haven't looked that far into the future yet."

His mother clicked her tongue disapprovingly, then sighed. "All right, all right. You're a grown man, I'll let you raise your own child however you see fit. But don't expect me to hold back advice when I think you need it - whether you ask for it or not!"

Ray grinned. "Your advice will be welcome, as always, Ma."

Mrs. Toro leaned over and kissed her son's cheek gently. "No matter what my reaction was at first, Ray," she said, "I am proud of you."

"So am I, son," his father said, standing and giving Ray a hug.

"Now," said Mrs. Toro brightly. "Let's go see that gorgeous grandbaby of mine!" She winked at her son and headed up the stairs.

* * * * *

Stepping into his old bedroom was always like a time warp for Ray. It felt even stranger to walk in and see his older brother sitting in the floor with his daughter, playing happily with one of his old stuffed animals.

"That's Mr. Bojangles," Lou was saying as Ray and his parents approached the doorway. The little plush dog had certainly seen better days. He handed it to his niece and grinned. "Your daddy dragged that thing around with him everywhere he went until he was ten or so."

Anna giggled and kissed the dog's nose. "I like him!"

Ray smiled and, forgetting his parents and his brother were even in the room, he sat on the floor beside his daughter.

"You know what, Anna?" he said, studying the toy's worn nose for a moment. "I think Mr. Bojangles would like to stay with you, now. Would you like that?"

Anna nodded, then stood and threw her arms around her father's neck. "Thank you, Daddy," she said.

Lou grinned up at his parents as Ray and his daughter began to look through his other old toys.

Anna was indeed right where she belonged.