My Way Home Is Through You

Two weeks later, when Gerard stepped into Ray's apartment, he wondered for a moment if he was in the right place. What had once been the definitive guy's apartment, messy and filled with music and girly magazines and instruments Ray had collected over the years, now looked completely different.

The girly magazines, thank goodness, had been collected and, knowing Ray, ferreted away somewhere like the top shelf of his closet. The music magazines had been gathered and stacked neatly on the coffee table. In fact, the entire apartment was cleaner than Gerard had ever seen it. DVDs were actually put away in the shelf, rather than left lying about the living room. The collection of instruments, though still in plain view, had been moved to more child-safe positions.

Gerard smiled when he saw Ray's oldest and most treasured guitar on a stand on a small table in the corner of the room. It was an old acoustic that Lou had given to him as a teenager; his first guitar. Beside it, on its own tiny stand, was the little ukulele that Frank had given Anna as a homecoming gift. Like Anna and Ray themselves, the instruments were a perfect match.

From raging rocker to proud papa in the blink of an eye, Gerard thought with amusement.

"What are you smirking about?" Ray asked as he walked out of the kitchen with a raised eyebrow.

"The Daddy guitar and the Baby guitar beside it," Gerard said, nodding toward the instruments.

Ray grinned. "Yeah, Anna loved that."

"Where is the munchkin, anyway?" Gerard asked, noticing that for once the little girl wasn't attached to her father's knees.

"In her room," Ray replied, his smile broadening. "She's discovered My Little Pony."

"Oh, Ray, you didn't!" exclaimed Gerard with a chuckle.

"Oh, I did," the guitarist replied with a grimace. "My mother and I, that is."

Gerard shook his head and laughed as they made their way through the living room to the bedrooms.

"Thanks again for agreeing to baby-sit, Gee," Ray said suddenly. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem, dude," said Gerard. "I know well enough that when Lou calls and says he needs help with something, it's generally not anything to sneeze at. I'm happy to stay with Anna while you go rescue your bro."

They stepped into Anna's room and Gerard was surprised at the change. In the short time they'd been home, Ray had managed to make the little bedroom look as though Anna had lived there since birth.

The walls were painted a buttery yellow, which gave the room a sunlit feel even at night. Ray's old blue comforter had been replaced by a new one with a design that looked like the shimmering water of a swimming pool. The bed itself was covered with stuffed animals, with Brownie, Holly and Mr. Bojangles featured prominently in the center. The room was delightfully mismatched, filled with anything that caught Anna's fancy; from the butterfly mobile hanging from the ceiling to the panda lamp on her bedside table.

Mrs. Toro must have had a blast shopping for her, Gerard thought, stifling a laugh.

And on the floor, Anna herself was surrounded by a herd of tiny colorful horses.

"Look who's here, baby," Ray said as Gerard knelt down beside the little girl.

"Gee!" she squealed as she turned and saw the rocker beside her. "Did you come over to play?"

"I sure did, my darling girl," Gerard said, picking up a purple pony.

"Anna, Gee's going to stay with you while I go help Uncle Lou out with something. How does that sound?" Ray said gently.

She bit her lip for a moment, looking a bit crestfallen that her father was leaving. Then she nodded and said solemnly, "Okay, Daddy."

Ray knelt and gave his daughter a kiss, promising that he'd be back soon, then departed.

Seeing the distraught look on the little girl's face as she stared out the door where her father had just disappeared, Gerard held the pony up and said, "What's this one's name, Anna?"

Turning back to look at him, Anna smiled when she replied, "Cupcake."

"Cupcake?" repeated Gerard. He was happy to see her smiling. "How come?"

Anna giggled and said, " 'Cause she gots cupcakes on her booty!"

After about an hour of playing with the ponies (and a few Transformers, too), Gerard's knees began to hurt from crawling around on the floor. He stood up slowly, stretching his legs, and said, "How about some dinner, Anna? Are you getting hungry?"

Anna dropped the ponies in her hand and sprang to his side. "Yeah!" she exclaimed.

Gerard headed to the kitchen, with Anna hot on his heels. Surveying the cabinets and refrigerator, he felt a little discouraged. Though the kitchen was well-stocked, he couldn't think of anything he could cook that the child might actually like.

"How does pizza sound?" he asked.

"Pizza!" she cried. "Yay!" Gerard chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"Okay," he said with a smile. "What do you like on your pizza?"

"I don't know." She shrugged.

"You don't know?" he replied, tickling her. "Okay, we've got to get over this indecisive thing of yours. Your dad might let you get away with it, but it just ain't gonna swing with me, sugar." He sat her down at the kitchen table and began to fire off questions at her.

"Do you like cheese?"

"Yeah!"

"Do you like pepperoni?"

"Yeah!"

"Do you like mushrooms?"

"Ew!"

Soon they had compiled a list of all the things Anna was willing to eat on a pizza. Admittedly, it was a short list, but Gerard could deal with it. Twenty minutes later, the pizza delivery dude had brought them a large pepperoni and sausage pizza, and the two were eating happily at the table.

"Good thing it was me and not Frankie, huh?" Gerard mused. "You're not much on veggies on your pizza, are you?"

"Gross!" she cried, grinning through a long, melted string of cheese attaching her to her slice.

Once they had eaten and Gerard had cleaned up, they wandered into the living room. It seemed that Anna had tired of My Little Pony, so Gerard settled her on the couch and searched through Ray's movie collection. He snickered to see that the Disney portion had grown rather alarmingly.

"Do you want to watch The Little Mermaid, Anna?" he asked, already knowing the reply.

"Ariel!" Anna cried, nearly coming over the back of the couch as she hopped up in excitement. "I like her!"

As they settled down to watch, Gerard glanced at the clock. Eight o'clock. He knew Anna would need to be in bed soon.

Sure enough, less than a half an hour later, just as Sebastian the crab finished telling Ariel how great life was "Under Da Sea," Anna yawned and said, "I'm sleepy. When's Daddy coming home?"

"I don't know, munchkin. Your uncle Lou must have gotten himself into a bigger mess than we thought," he replied. "But it's time for you to get to bed now, so why don't we finish Ariel the next time I come over, okay?"

Glancing nervously at the door, Anna assented. Gerard led her back to her bedroom and swiftly changed her into pajamas. He then helped her put her toys away in her toy box and tucked her into bed.

"How about a song, sweetie?" he asked. "Your dad said you like that before you go to sleep." Anna nodded, snuggling down beside her stuffed bunny.

Gerard smiled. "Okay. Now, I can't play guitar and sing at the same time, so it'll have to be a Capella tonight."

"Ooh, you make me live
Whatever this world can give to me
It's you, you're all I see
Ooh, you make me live now honey
Ooh, you make me live

Oh, you're the best friend
That I ever had
I've been with you such a long time
You're my sunshine
And I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
Oh, you're my best friend..."

Gerard grinned as the child drifted off to the sweet sound of Queen. We'll make a rocker baby out of her yet, he thought.

He turned out the light, making sure that Anna's little star-shaped nightlight was shining bright. Then he flopped on the couch and pulled out his cell phone. He quickly dialed, then placed the phone to his ear. It went straight to the voice-mail message.

"Hey, this is Ray, I can't get to my phone right now, but I'll call you back. No, really, I swear I will!"

"Hey dude, just wondering if everything's okay. It's about quarter to nine and your daughter just went to bed, so... I'll be here. Let me know if you think you'll be later."

Gerard closed his phone with a snap and sat back. Picking up the remote, he pressed the play button and continued to watch the movie.

Ray's not the only one who loves this kiddie crap, he thought as he drifted off. Ariel fucking rocks.

* * * * *

Gerard awoke with a start to find a very upset Anna standing in front of him. Shaking himself, asked groggily, "Hey, sugar, what's the matter?" It took a moment for his drowsy mind to register the sunlight streaming through the living room windows behind her.

"Where's Daddy?" she asked frantically.

"What?" Gerard sat up and looked at his watch. It was 7:30 AM. "He's not here?"

Anna shook her head vehemently, her long curls flying. "Where is he, Gee?"

"I don't know, baby," he answered, grabbing his phone. No new messages, no missed calls.

"Listen," he said, standing and ushering her gently back into her room. "Why don't you get your toys out and get them all set up for me, and I'll go try to call your dad. Then we can play while we wait for him to get home, okay?"

For a moment, she looked ready to protest. Then she settled quietly on the floor, still clutching Mr. Bojangles close.

"Okay, Gee."

"That-a girl," he said as he hurried into the kitchen.

He dialed Ray once more and again got only the voice-mail. By now he was really starting to worry. Without another thought, he dialed a different number.

"Mikey? It's me. Yeah. Listen, I need your help. Ray's missing."