My Way Home Is Through You

With Anna seated happily on a pillow at the table in the kitchenette, the five guys settled down for dinner with her. Frank had been the one to suggest the pillow, hinting that it was no fun to be short at the dinner table. Ray was just happy it didn't require straps.

Anna watched in fascination as Frank twirled his spaghetti onto his fork and popped it into his mouth.

"No meat?" asked Ray.

Frank slurped a loose noodle into his mouth and nodded. "Brian knows how I like it, baby," he said, waggling his eyebrows. This earned him an abrupt whack to the head from Bob.

"Idiot."

Gerard snorted, choking on a mouthful of spaghetti. Anna laughed at the sight of them all. Ray grinned at his daughter.

"Hey, Anna, want to learn how to twirl?" asked Frank. She nodded bashfully.

The next ten minutes were spent with Frank patiently trying to help Anna hold her fork the correct way. After a while, though, they could see that she was getting discouraged.

"You know what, Anna?" said Ray, leaning closer to her. "I like to do it like this." With that, he shoveled a messy forkful into his mouth and bit off the ends. "It's easier!" he said, winking at her.

She giggled and grasped her fork as he had, and shoveled a much smaller forkful into her own mouth. Once she'd gotten it down, she grinned up at him with orange lips. He laughed.

"Works for me!"

* * * * *

After dinner, Bob and Frank kept Anna entertained while Ray grabbed a duffel bag and threw some clothes into it. When he was sure that he'd packed everything he'd need for the three-night stay in the hotel, he turned to find Gerard and Mikey standing behind him.

"What's up, guys?" he asked nervously.

"We just wanted to make sure you were okay," Mikey replied.

"This is a huge change, and it's happened rather quickly," said Gerard, crossing his arms. "Are you sure you can handle this?"

"I..." Ray hesitated. "I think so. I'll be all right."

"I mean, you're just taking this all a little too well, dude," said Mikey. "I know you're the calm and quiet one, but honestly. Even you ought to be in a little more turmoil over all of this."

"Isn't it good that I'm not?" asked Ray hopefully.

"Well, yeah, of course," said Gerard hurriedly. "I'm just scared that it's going to hit you all of a sudden and you're not going to be okay."

"To be honest, I'm more concerned about her right now," Ray murmured quietly. "I'll deal with my own feelings when they come."

"But Ray," Gerard protested. "If your well-being isn't so hot, then hers won't be, either. You do realize that, don't you?"

Ray sighed. "I know, Gerard, I know. I just want to get through tonight. It's been a long, hard day for all of us. And I've still got to take care of my daughter."

"Look," said Mikey, placing a hand on Ray's shoulder. "All we're saying is that... If you need us, you know you can call."

Ray smiled gratefully at his friends. "I know. And thank you for that."

"Well, it's no problem, we'll just be a parking lot away," said Gerard, his voice picking up its usual spirit.

Ray was puzzled. "A parking lot? From the Windham? It's half a mile from here, at least."

"Nah, dude, we're picking up and moving the bus to the Windham parking lot!" exclaimed Gerard. "We are here for you, never more than an elevator's ride away!"

Ray laughed and said, "Whatever you guys want to do."

"And one other thing," Mikey said, shifting uncomfortably. "Do you want to keep all of this quiet until after we get back home or not?"

Ray considered it. "Yeah, I'd really prefer that," he said after a moment. "It's only one more show, then we can get her settled at home before the rumor mill starts up." He nodded to himself. "Yeah, that's probably the best plan."

"Okay, then," Mikey said. "You can count on us. Mum's the word."

"Thank you."

"Absolutely," replied Gerard. He then turned back towards his other bandmates and Anna.

"Okay, cutie, you all ready to go with your dad to the hotel?" he called as he swooped into the living area and lighted on the couch beside the girl.

"Yeah, okay," she said, nodding and looking up at Ray. He chuckled to see that she still had a slight orange stain around her mouth from the spaghetti.

"All right, kiddo, let's bounce," he said, taking her hand and leading her to the door.

As he strapped her into the car seat - with much less trouble this time, thank you very much - she stared into his face.

"Daddy?"

His heart fluttered for a moment. It was the first time she'd called him that.

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"I'm glad to be with you."

* * * * *

Upon checking in, Ray was grateful to find that Frank had booked them a suite. It had a separate TV room and even a tiny kitchenette with a fridge, a microwave and a stove (not that he'd be using that much - Frank was the only person Ray knew with less cooking skills than his own). The bedroom itself had two queen-sized beds, which he supposed would work all right. If Anna wasn't used to such a big bed, he figured he could easily create a sort of "fence" out of pillows, which seemed to be in abundance in the room.

He sat her down on the bed and began to look in the suitcases. After ten minutes or so of searching, he was able to find a nightgown for her. Feeling slightly awkward after grabbing a pair of underwear and socks for her as well, he lead her to the bathroom for a bath.

Thankfully, she seemed to be able to handle most of the task herself. She only had problems with washing her hair. As Ray helped her lather the shampoo he'd found in her suitcase, he couldn't help marvelling at the thickness of her curls. It seemed that she had definitely inherited the 'fro.

After rinsing her off and getting her out of the tub, he dried her off with the soft, thick towel and helped her into her nightclothes. Then he realized with a sinking heart that he would need to comb her hair out before it got tangled. With all those curls, this was not going to be pretty.

However, it turned out to be a moot point; as he picked up the comb and made the first gentle sweep through her hair, the comb slid easily through. Amazed, Ray murmured to himself, "What kind of shampoo is this?" He picked up the bottle and looked at it. Johnson's Baby Shampoo: No More Tears for Curls. He continued to comb her hair, wondering vaguely if the shampoo would work in his own locks.

Once she was combed and her hair was sufficiently dry, he scooped her up and carried her to the bed, where he tucked her into the soft sheets and blankets. He was about to stand when a distressed look crossed her face.

"Where's my bunny?" she cried. Ray froze. Dear God, please let her mean a toy.

"What bunny, sweetheart?" he asked, steeling himself for her reply.

"My Brownie!" she said, biting her lip. "I can't sleep without him!"

"Okay," Ray said, pulling the suitcases back out. "Well, let's look for him."

Luckily, the search was incredibly short. As soon as he had opened the one suitcase he hadn't already inspected, he spotted the little plush rabbit.

"Is this your Brownie?" he asked, holding up the toy. Relief flooded the little girl's face and she nodded, holding her hands out. He tucked the rabbit into her arms and moved to put the suitcase away again. As he did so, he noticed a folder and an album that the rabbit had been on top of. He pulled them out before returning the suitcase to the closet, then went back to his daughter's bedside.

"Good night, Anna," he said gently. "I'm very happy be with you."

His daughter was already beginning to fall asleep. "Good night, Daddy," came her sleepy reply.

"I love you."

Ray's heart flip-flopped as he gazed down at his sleeping daughter.

"I love you too, Anna."