Paradise Lost

I slept soundly for the first time in months, and when I woke up the next morning I felt completely new. I was expecting to leave the house in about twenty minutes to go pick up Jay and then we wanted to come home and just spend the day together, lounging around, doing nothing. Like the good times.
I grabbed my keys and phone and headed out the door when I realized I needed to get some money. The first place I was going before picking up Jay was to the nearest Cinnabon to grab two cinnamon rolls for me and Jay.
I watched around me as I entered the hospital, seeing the people sitting in rooms with their loved ones, some who they may only get to be with for a few more months, weeks, days, or maybe even hours and I realized that things could be so much worse. Jay could have died. I could have not been able to say goodbye to him. We would never have gotten this chance to start over again. Sometime, life has a way of slapping you in the face. Me and Jay could make this work. I know we could.

“Hey Jay,” I said, walking into his room where he was standing, dressed and ready to go, “I grabbed a cinnamon roll for you. I figured you could use some actual food.”

“Hell yeah,” he replied, hugging me and then wrapping his arm around my waist, “Now let’s get out of here.”

Once we got home we crashed. It was comfortable, and we spent the rest of the afternoon lying on the couch together in pajamas, watching the Princess Bride and ignoring our cell phones. We were truly content just being with each other.

I woke up to Jay placing me down in bed.

“Did I fall asleep?” I half mumbled, as Jay covered me up with our comforter.

“Nah, babe. You were wide awake.” He laughed, crawling in beside me.

“Jerk.”

Jay jut wrapped his tattooed arms around me and we quickly fell asleep.

A week had passed and I was now permanently working for AP magazine from home. I would fly out to Ohio later this month, but only for two days. The guys were going to be touring again soon, so I would be with them this time, taking photographs for AP and Hollywoodland.

“Hey, can I have some lunch?” Jay asked, walking into the kitchen, dragging a skateboard behind him.

“Sure, but can you not drag the skateboard through the kitchen. It has mud on it and I just spent all morning cleaning.”

“You’re so domesticated Nat, I love it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Everyone wants to.”

I shook my head and laughed, pointing him out of the room as I heated up some leftover Thai from the night before and placed it in two bowls, joining him in our bedroom to eat lunch.

“You know, we have it so much easier than other couples.” Jay announced, eating his food and flipping through the channels.

“I know, we’re lucky.”

“I know! I mean, I get to live my dream and tour, and when I’m not, all I have to do is lounge around the house, hang out with the boys, and skateboard. You work from home, and it doesn’t take you more than two hours to get an article written, edited and sent in, and then we get to spend the day together just like this.”

He was right, we were so much luckier than couples that worked nine to five jobs. And recently, all we really had been doing was spending our days together. Today, for instance, we lounged outside for a bit, went to the store together, I cleaned and he played guitar, and now it is still mid-afternoon and we are lying down in our bed, watching tv and eating. No cell phones had been answered unless it was one of the guys, and all we told them was that we needed some time alone to really get to know each other again, and they understood.

“I want a dog.” Jay announced randomly, setting his empty bowl down on a nightstand.

“We can’t get a dog. We won’t be home to take care of it.”

“We can leave him with one of the girls.”

“What if they leave and come on tour for a couple of days?”

“Then they can take him to my parent’s house.”

“Ok, so if you have that figured out, let’s get a dog.”

“Really, you would agree?”

“Sure, Jay. I love animals.”

“Let’s go looking tomorrow then.”

“Perfect.”