And The Very Last Diamond Began To Fall

The stars twinkled like diamonds overhead as I saw the last person I expected to see sitting in my spot under the oak tree. He was the also last person I wanted there. He gave a small hopeful smile, which I immediately shot down with a glare. He wasn't going to charm his way back into my life, no, not this time. “What are you doing here, Ethan?” I inquired, my voice sharp as a razor, and his smile turned into a grimace as if it had cut him. He looked down at his feet and swayed back and forth, thought overtaking his features. He look me straight in the eyes and whispered “I don't know anymore,” and looked back down at his feet. Had it been someone else, I would've thought it was charming, cute even, but it was not anyone else. It was the man who had ruined everything I built. The man who humiliated me, destroyed everything, and stole my heart in one foul swoop. And I could not let him do it again.

We stared at each other in silence, emotions rushing back quickly. My heart was having a battle as to whether it loved or hated him more. My mind was adament in its decision, though. I hated him more, as terrible as that sounds. “Listen to me, Tara!” He cried, which was a vast contradiction to the silence in the quiet park, “I'm sorry!”. I scoffed and immediately regretted it. I didn't want it to end on this note. I still loved him, even though he ruined me. “Ethan, it's too late. Can't we just put this behind us and move on?” I asked so gently, the words barely made it out of my mouth. I just wanted to go on. This was way too much. Each moment flickered in between sadness and needing to move on with my life to rage. I just wanted to move on at the second. “Tara, no, I won't move on!” He screamed. The scream echoed over the water of the lake, carrying on into the night. Then it fell dead silence, with only a distant croak from a frog as the soundtrack.

“Why don't you go back to her, huh, love? Since I, obviously, wasn't enough!” I seethed, sending him a nastier glare than I had previously. Who the hell did he think he was? What gave him the right to toy with me like this? He wanted Alicia, fine, he could have her, because he sure as hell couldn't have me anymore. His face twisted in some deep, torturous pain and a single tear rolled down his cheek. It was enough to break my heart all over because I still loved him with every fiber of my being. But, I couldn't do this again. Had he been drunk, had it just happened once, I don't know what I wouldn't have done. But this lasted 3 months and I had absolutely no clue. Not even an inklink that something was happening between the two of them. That brought the rage back, enough to shake my tiny body. He just looked up and said nothing at all. This hurt the worst out of all of the atrocious acts he's already committed.

I sank down against the oak tree and tears spilled from my already swollen and red eyes. “Why wasn't I enough?” I choked out in between tears. The guilt and shame that overtook his face gave me some sick satisfaction. But then I stopped myself. I couldn't let myself become the bad guy here, but I needed to stop being the victim. I was going to stand up for myself, I was going to be me. And the me I know would be disgusted with crying over some boy who didn't even love you enough to stay faithful. “Shh...you were enough,” He said soothingly stroking my hair, but I pushed him away. “Don't lie to me! Don't you fucking dare!” I hissed out “Just leave. Just leave!”. He stood perfectly still for a moment, but began to walk away once he understood I wasn't going to back down. He turned back and looked me in the eyes once again, pale blue meeting dark brown, “Is it too late to tell you how much I love you? How much I will always love you?” He asked sadness streaming with every word. And as heartbreaking as it was, I couldn't do this anymore. “Yes,” I whispered. And with that, my tears and the very last diamond in the pitch black night began to fall.