Heart-Shaped Box
Nightmares
After hearing his Word to change tos, it seemed like your happiness were all taken away from you. You stared at him, completely silent, as you tried to…smile.
“Umm hey that’s… that’s just awesome…” you said, voice shaking slightly as you felt tears forming and are ready to leak from your eyes. “I’m so happy for you.”
“I know you would be. That’s why I told you first.” he said, smiling. You did not answer back though, you can’t.
You were completely silent, staring at your feet, but still smiling… trying hard to fake your emotions. He stared at you for a moment before he started to stand.
“Hey, so I think I should be going now,” he said.
“Yeah, alright…” you said as he started for the door… then “Umm Gerard?” you called after him. He stopped to turn to look at you.
“Yes Ahreya?”
“Nothing. I just want you to know that I’m fucking glad for you.” you said, and before you know it, a tear just rolled on your cheek. He didn’t see it… at least that’s what you thought, it’s dark since neither of you turned the light on.
“Thanks.” he said, a kind smile still on his face. “Oh well… Happy Birthday again Ahreya, and we’re going somewhere tomorrow, so you should get plenty of good sleep,” he laughed.
“Sure.”
“Bye.”
“Ok, bye…” you whispered, as Gerard’s lips twisted its last smile to you and turned to face the door. He took a couple of small quiet steps and he reached for the doorknob, went out, and closed the door, completely leaving you alone in the darkness of your room.
And as soon as he closed the door, you let your tears escape your weary eyes. You looked down at the floor as you cried silent cries. Your eyes won’t stop, you could feel the tears endlessly rolling down your cheeks. You just cried and cried, not wanting to move, not even to wipe your tears away. You wanted to stop… but you couldn’t… you couldn’t stop yourself from crying…
After an hour or two, you just sat there, completely silent, completely awake. You stopped crying, but that doesn’t mean that the sorrow has left you, in fact… it continued hurting you even more with each minute that passes. You looked around your dark room, everything was quiet and it’s deafening.
You are unaware of the time. But you could feel it’s very, very late. His Word to change tos kept on ringing on your head. And well… you also have completely forgotten about your birthday.
You sighed. Your emotions are so stirred up right now. And you’re becoming numb from all the anxiety, confusion… and extreme anguish. All you wanted right now is sleep.
Aside from the tears that stained your cheeks, you’re all covered in sweat. So you decided to walk over to your window and open it.
But along with the loud “click” of your window lock that broke the deafening silence was a quick flash of an image in your mind…
You stopped dead, heart beating fast. The image flashed too quickly that your mind wasn’t able to process what it was… after a couple of seconds just standing there, wondering and being unable to figure it out… you sighed and tried to open the second lock of the window.
As you opened the window, cool air swooped into your room. It cleared your hair out of your face and you kinda preferred to stand there just a little while more. You looked outside.
Everything was still out there, so it’s no difference as to looking at a picture. Then with a loud sigh, you minded your own body, you then felt the extreme tiredness.
You went to your bed, sat, and closed your eyes for a while…
Then… the image flashed into your mind again… this time the image did not leave your mind quickly… you saw yourself sitting in the middle of a cold road… with something on your lap… you weren’t able to make out what it was then it left your mind again… but you did not open your eyes after that… you waited…
You started breathing harder and your heartbeat was faster than it had been the first time the image flashed into your mind a while back…
When it did not re-appear, you grabbed your pillow and knocked your head with it.
“Damn it” you said. You laid your back on bed and replaced the pillow below your head, turned to your side, and forced yourself to sleep…
15 minutes later…
You woke up with a shriek. The image reappeared again in your dream, it wasn’t just an image this time… you can hear sounds… and now you were completely able to make out what it was…
In your dream, you were in the middle of a cold road, surrounded by muttering people. Your shirt was covered in what seemed like… blood…? You were sitting in a pool of blood… you can hear police sirens everywhere and you can also hear the screams of some people you know…
“Myself… covered in… blood… shit!” you thought… “What’s going on with me?”
But that wasn’t just it, as you stared blankly outside your window you reMembered about something in that dream that really frightened you … on your lap was a… man… a dying man… was it…
“Gerard?”…
“Umm hey that’s… that’s just awesome…” you said, voice shaking slightly as you felt tears forming and are ready to leak from your eyes. “I’m so happy for you.”
“I know you would be. That’s why I told you first.” he said, smiling. You did not answer back though, you can’t.
You were completely silent, staring at your feet, but still smiling… trying hard to fake your emotions. He stared at you for a moment before he started to stand.
“Hey, so I think I should be going now,” he said.
“Yeah, alright…” you said as he started for the door… then “Umm Gerard?” you called after him. He stopped to turn to look at you.
“Yes Ahreya?”
“Nothing. I just want you to know that I’m fucking glad for you.” you said, and before you know it, a tear just rolled on your cheek. He didn’t see it… at least that’s what you thought, it’s dark since neither of you turned the light on.
“Thanks.” he said, a kind smile still on his face. “Oh well… Happy Birthday again Ahreya, and we’re going somewhere tomorrow, so you should get plenty of good sleep,” he laughed.
“Sure.”
“Bye.”
“Ok, bye…” you whispered, as Gerard’s lips twisted its last smile to you and turned to face the door. He took a couple of small quiet steps and he reached for the doorknob, went out, and closed the door, completely leaving you alone in the darkness of your room.
And as soon as he closed the door, you let your tears escape your weary eyes. You looked down at the floor as you cried silent cries. Your eyes won’t stop, you could feel the tears endlessly rolling down your cheeks. You just cried and cried, not wanting to move, not even to wipe your tears away. You wanted to stop… but you couldn’t… you couldn’t stop yourself from crying…
After an hour or two, you just sat there, completely silent, completely awake. You stopped crying, but that doesn’t mean that the sorrow has left you, in fact… it continued hurting you even more with each minute that passes. You looked around your dark room, everything was quiet and it’s deafening.
You are unaware of the time. But you could feel it’s very, very late. His Word to change tos kept on ringing on your head. And well… you also have completely forgotten about your birthday.
You sighed. Your emotions are so stirred up right now. And you’re becoming numb from all the anxiety, confusion… and extreme anguish. All you wanted right now is sleep.
Aside from the tears that stained your cheeks, you’re all covered in sweat. So you decided to walk over to your window and open it.
But along with the loud “click” of your window lock that broke the deafening silence was a quick flash of an image in your mind…
You stopped dead, heart beating fast. The image flashed too quickly that your mind wasn’t able to process what it was… after a couple of seconds just standing there, wondering and being unable to figure it out… you sighed and tried to open the second lock of the window.
As you opened the window, cool air swooped into your room. It cleared your hair out of your face and you kinda preferred to stand there just a little while more. You looked outside.
Everything was still out there, so it’s no difference as to looking at a picture. Then with a loud sigh, you minded your own body, you then felt the extreme tiredness.
You went to your bed, sat, and closed your eyes for a while…
Then… the image flashed into your mind again… this time the image did not leave your mind quickly… you saw yourself sitting in the middle of a cold road… with something on your lap… you weren’t able to make out what it was then it left your mind again… but you did not open your eyes after that… you waited…
You started breathing harder and your heartbeat was faster than it had been the first time the image flashed into your mind a while back…
When it did not re-appear, you grabbed your pillow and knocked your head with it.
“Damn it” you said. You laid your back on bed and replaced the pillow below your head, turned to your side, and forced yourself to sleep…
15 minutes later…
You woke up with a shriek. The image reappeared again in your dream, it wasn’t just an image this time… you can hear sounds… and now you were completely able to make out what it was…
In your dream, you were in the middle of a cold road, surrounded by muttering people. Your shirt was covered in what seemed like… blood…? You were sitting in a pool of blood… you can hear police sirens everywhere and you can also hear the screams of some people you know…
“Myself… covered in… blood… shit!” you thought… “What’s going on with me?”
But that wasn’t just it, as you stared blankly outside your window you reMembered about something in that dream that really frightened you … on your lap was a… man… a dying man… was it…
“Gerard?”…