Heart-Shaped Box

“Frank… what street is this?” you asked, still gazing around.

“I don’t know, but it’s just a couple of meters away from your house, how come we don’t know?” he laughed a bit, starting to look around too. The truck just stopped at the end of the traffic. The place is crowded, people dressed for work, and some with their kids.

“I haven’t seen this place, weird.”

“Me neither…umm hey Ahreya…”

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you something… and well answer honestly…”

“Yeah, umm sure, what is it?” you told him, but still looking around, trying to observe the place.

“Uhh… has Gerard told you anything… something we don’t know?” he moved a little closer to you.

“Huh? What do you mean?” you asked, you’re lost of your thoughts now, all your attention is focused on the place or the street or… just the road.

“So you don’t know anything?” Frank snatched your attention to him. You looked at his eyes, then you know what he is talking about.

“I… I do… Frank… he just told me before we went to bed…” you sighed and started to look at your feet since you can’t look at him directly.

“Told you about what?” he asked you, though you know he already knew. The way he just asked… he already knew.

“Frank, you already know.”

“Well yeah.” Frank sighed. “Nikki said something about… her and Gerard a while back in the kitchen while waiting to see him…” he frowned.

“Yeah, I know, it’s been a week since they were going-out, that’s why she came looking for Gerard. She wants them to spend this day together…” you smiled, not wanting to show Frank how it depresses you.

“Won’t you do anything?”

“Do anything?”

“Do anything about that. You… well Ahreya… you know Nikki doesn’t love Gerard”

“I know. But it’s… it’s their life… I shouldn’t—I don’t care… they’re happy” you bit your lip. A lie… what you said is a lie… you care… you care so much. Nikki doesn’t love Gerard. But what bothers you the most is the fact that after fooling Gerard and making him love her so much, she will want to hurt him too. And just knowing that a really good person like Gerard will just get hurt by someone like Nikki… it kills you.

“What the heck ‘you don’t care’…”

“I don’t know... maybe they do love each other already, if so… then everything’s alright…” you said untruthfully once again. But you know this lies will not work. It’s Frank you’re talking to. He knows almost everything.

“Stop pretending it’s alright…”

“Why? What do you know about how I feel? I’m just his bestfriend, I’m happy for him... I'm supposed to be happy for him...”

“You like Gerard… it’s obvious… so stop pretending…” he snapped.

You stopped, dumbstruck. So he proved you’re damn right… Frank always knew everything. You looked at Frank and smiled to yourself. It’s good to have a friend like him, it’s good to have a friend who knows you so well…

“What’s up?” Mikey came across from where he was sitting. He sat in a squat position in front of you and Frank. The both of you just looked at him. “Hey, what’s up? Why did you stop when I came…” he started to scowl.

“Not really… We’re just talking about something… something about her and your brother…” Frank winked at him.

“Oh I get it…”

“Mikey… knew… too?” you could feel your face turning red.

“Well… not about the thing we were talking about earlier… but the thing you won’t confess. Yes, he knows it too.”

You felt yourself shrinking on the spot. It was your secret since you were thirteen years old. You don’t want anybody to know how much you like Gerard.

“Don’t worry, it’s safe with us… me, Frank, and… Gerard” Mikey grinned.

“GERARD?!”

“Uh… Nah! We’re just kidding!” Frank and Mikey burst out and roared with laughter when they saw your reaction. You frowned at them but they looked really funny as they rolled on the bed of the truck, laughing hard. So you weren’t able to stop yourself from bursting to laughter too.

The truck started to move. You smiled to yourself in relief knowing that you’re moving away from that street.

The three of you continued to crack each other up, though all of you decided to stop talking about Gerard, and you did not notice that you’re already arriving the mall parking lot.

“Out of all places… I wonder why you thought of the mall…” you sighed as all of you entered the mall entrance.

“Stop complaining,” Frank snapped at you, “Now where d’you s’ppose we go?” he asked all of you, although his eyes were on you. You pretended you did not hear, but all of them were now looking at you. And knowing that they won’t make a move unless you say something…

“You, guys, are the ones who brought me here, so you decide”

“We decide that you decide,” Gerard winked.

“You always make the worst decisions,” you sighed and jokingly punched his shoulder. “Alright then… foodcourt…”

“Foodcourt?!” you saw all of them widen their eyes.

“You did not let me eat breakfast! You made me hurry that I forgot to eat! My treat…” you started to walk away from them, heading the way to the foodcourt.

“Alright, but it’s my treat” Gerard snatched your arm and dragged you, smiling. The four guys followed behind you.

“You sure? Because you do not know how much I eat when I’m hungry,” you laughed and ran with Gerard who is still tightly holding you on the arm.

You noticed that he held you so tightly… and just by that thought, you smiled.
He might love Nikki so much right now, their relationship might work out, even though you think Nikki doesn’t love Gerard… maybe… just maybe… she has learned to love him. Everything between you and Gerard might not work out the way you want it to be… but now you know… his grip on your arm and how tight it is… he won’t leave you… not even for anything or anybody, you’re sure of it. He’d be there when you want him to be there.

That’s what you like about Gerard since you met him five years ago. He’s always there for his friends.

You and the guys went your way to the foodcourt and Gerard bought each of you coffee and some meal while he bought himself and Mikey soda. While eating, you had good time talking and just messing with each other.

After Gerard has finished drinking his soda, you noticed that he dug into his cup.

“What are you doing?” you asked curiously, observing what he’s doing.

“Looking for an ice cube that’s just the right size…” he said, finally lifting an ice cube.

“What for—AHHHH!!!! GERARD!!!!!”

Gerard put the ice cube down the back of your shirt. You jumped back from your chair and poured Mikey’s soda on him. Gerard didn’t get angry though because he knew it was his fault. All of you laughed and started to mess up the place until some people complained about your behavior.

So after getting kicked out of the foodcourt, you’re back to where you started, staring at each other again, not knowing where to go.

“Now, where are we going next? Do you have any idea where to go? Mikey?” Frank asked, again.

“All I know is that I’m thirsty…” Mikey answered pointlessly.

“Thirsty? We have just gone from the foodcourt.” Gerard said, looking at Mikey.

“Well it’s my whole drink that makes your shirt wet now…” Mikey looked at you, pretending to be angry.

“I’m sorry,” you chuckled. “It’s the only soda left to be poured on Gerard… or else I would have poured coffee on him instead…” you laughed.

“Alright, guys, WHERE… DO… WE… GO… NEXT?!” Frank asked impatiently.

“Since you’re the most eager… how about you decide, Frank?” the silently-standing Matt behind you spoke. Frank sighed and decided to go to two places: the record bar, and some store that sells a lot of different instruments and music accessories etc.

While you’re at the record bar, you went for a lot of CDs of your favorite bands and artists, while the others looked for theirs too. When you were already carrying about five to seven CDs, you went to the counter to pay for it before any of your friends see you and be the kind people to pay for you. You failed though. Ray and Mikey passed by and were just in time to see you when you’re the next in line. So you ended up being forced to let them pay for you.

The next store where Frank led you was awesome. The Way brothers asked you if you want to buy anything for your violin or piano because they want to help you find the things you need to buy but you did not accept the offer since you don’t have to buy anything from that store and also because you knew they’re gonna pay for it, again. So you just stayed at the entrance while Frank, Matt, and Ray bought stuff. They were able to buy what they want before the guard kicked all of you out because of the scene Gerard, Mikey, and you were making at the entrance of the store. You were surprised to see that the record bar and the other store you visited were the two most crowded places in the mall.

Before Frank could start on you again for having no idea where to go, Ray reminded you on the coming Junior and Senior prom about two weeks from now. You entered the department store and headed for the section where they buy those kind of clothes and stuff.

“This looks good on you,” Matt called your attention. You turned to look at the dress he’s holding and let out a shrug. He’s holding a pink strapless dress with butterfly wings at the back.

“Fuck that.” you sighed. You cannot seem to find the dress you like. Then after minutes of wandering around, you saw the best dress that you know would really look good on you.

It was a black dress with thin spaghetti straps and red layers at the bottom. It was really simple, it has nothing on it except for a series of red beads on the bottom right of the dress that formed a small rose. You stared at it for a long time. You’d love to be the girl to wear that dress… you love it… it was perfect. Then without any hesitation, you grabbed it from where it hung, and took it to the fitting room/place/(whatever you call it). Then quickly you took off your clothes and tried the dress on. As you looked at yourself in the mirror, you love how you look, you turned slowly, observing how it fit you so well. Then you changed back to your clothes and went out of the fitting room. Matt and Frank paid for it.

Then now, once again, you’re all standing, staring at each other, wondering where to go next. But since none of you have anything to buy and it’s still early, you just walked around the mall, talking about things and entering some stores that catch your attention.

Then after you have wandered the whole 2nd floor and heading to the 3rd floor... Gerard stopped you.

“Ahreya, can I have you alone for a moment?”

“Huh…? Um yes… let’s tell the others first…”

“Yes, okay…”

Then after you informed them, Gerard led you around the corner into a jewelry store.

“What are we doing here?” you asked, looking around. The accessories were beautiful… and you bet those were pretty much expensive.

Gerard did not asnwer you though. He’s busy looking at every side, looking for something. You looked around more while wondering why he brought you here. After a couple of minutes of gazing around, you saw Gerard pay for two things… a bracelet and one-set stuff something.

He then approached you, putting the one-set jewelry inside his pocket and withdrawing the beautiful silvery-white bracelet. He took your hand and put the bracelet on. You just looked at him.

“This… is for not being the first one to greet you…” he said, smiling and eyeing the bracelet on your wrist. It looked really gorgeous on you.

“Wow… thanks…” you whispered, unable to believe what he bought you. “I… love it…” you smiled at him, and he smiled back, then he started walking out of the store. You ran after him, grabbed his arm, and enfolded your own arm on his. He smiled and made the hold tighter. You felt the bulky portion of his pocket where you guess he might have put the set of jewelry he bought. And you’re sure it’s for Nikki. It made a tear escape your eye, but you quickly wiped it off. Your heart is completely broken… completely crushed. But you’d rather not think about it. You just tried to feel the bracelet dangling from your right wrist.

You approached the four guys who patiently waited for you.

“It’s already five-thirty in the afternoon,” Frank started at the sight of you, looking at his watch. “So I guess we should go back to your place now Ahreya…”

“Yeah, alright…”

But before all of you started to leave, Gerard’s phone rang and he answered it.

“Hello? Uh yeah… oh Nikki good thing you called… yes… we’re going home… yeah bye see you later…”

You showed a frown to Frank and he responded with a smile that, you assume, meant “don’t worry”. You smiled weakly. When you exited the mall, Matt led you to his rusty pick-up truck parked at the very corner of the parking lot.

You ran in the objective to get inside the truck first. But Gerard and Matt did the same thing so Matt sat on the driver’s seat, and Gerard sat between you and Matt, leaving Ray, Frank, and Mikey staying on the bed of the truck.

Unfortunately, Matt decided to follow the same road he took on going to the mall. You sighed at the sight of the same place that aroused your curiosity and fear that morning. Being the same place that was crowded, the truck stopped at the end of the traffic again.

Since it was getting dark, you can now clearly see the same dark and noisy place in your nightmare. You’re sure that it’s your first time being here and you have no idea why you dreamed of it.

Then the car door where you were leaning opened accidentally. You let out a shriek, you almost fell but Gerard was able to hold you. You tried to reach for the door but when you almost reached it, an unusual wind pushed it made it open wider. Then Gerard started crawling across you and out of the car, trying to reach for the door too. Having the fear rising again, you stopped him. Thank goodness, thanks for the traffic, you went a couple of steps from your seat and closed the door safely.

“Are you guys alright?” Matt asked upon seeing how frightened you were.

“Yes, I’m alright.” you breathed hard. You reckon they noticed how you acted weird since there was nothing they know to be frightened about… but for you there is.

“Seriously, you have to buy a new car Matt…” Gerard chuckled.

“Hey nah-uh… I’m keeping my baby…” Matt snapped, hugging the driving wheel tighter.

Just then the vehicles in front of you and on other lanes started to move, and you felt raindrops at the side of your face coming from the open car window. Rain was starting to pour just slowly. You looked behind to see the three guys sitting on the side and they doesn’t seem to care about the rain.

You were quickly approaching your house and you can see through Gerard’s eyes that he is eager to arrive immediately. After a little while, you looked outside and saw a familiar neighborhood. You have just arrived home.

You jumped out of the truck and ran to your house’s front porch to avoid getting wet, Gerard followed. Frank, Ray and Mikey were all soaked in the rain. Matt jumped out of the truck too, and enough to make your three soaked friends angry, Matt came with an open umbrella held over him.

“You had an umbrella?!” Frank asked in a threatening voice.

“Yes, why?” Matt said calmly, obviously not getting the point.

“Fuck you.” Frank turned his back on Matt and entered your house.

“Why? What’s the matter?” Matt followed him, still not getting the point.

You and the other guys followed inside, finding your mom, Nikki, and some girls you assume are Nikki's friends sitting on the couch of your living room.

“Oh goodness, you’re all soaking wet!” your mom approached Ray and Mikey and led them upstairs to fix themselves up, leaving you with Gerard, Nikki, and her friends. You saw her friends throw evil glares at you so you just decided to go upstairs.

But before you could even take a step away from them, Gerard asked if you could stay with the girls for a little while—more like “entertain them”—as he fixes himself and some of his things. You can’t blame him though because he has no idea how much you hate each other. You guess you could stay with them a little while since you won’t have to talk to them or whatsoever and you could just stand there and wait for Gerard to come back. But this is not what happened…

You were just silently standing at the corner, trying your best not to look at them when Nikki approached you.

You sighed as she circled and stared straight into your eyes.

“You’ve got it freak. This whole day was supposed to be ours.” she whispered viciously at you. With your mom upstairs together with your friends, you don’t want to make any scene, so you ignored her.

“But who cares? He’ll be spending the rest of the days with me. I wonder… will you enjoy not being with Gerard, Ahreya…?”

You could've sworn flames were burning in your eyes for a moment, because they were starting to sting really badly. Perhaps it was just tears that were forming...

“Shut the fuck up.” you said softly but with threat. It’s taking you full force now not to lose your temper. You could really feel you’re losing it.

You knew that Nikki knew about how you felt for Gerard. You knew that she had from the very beginning. Now you realize that she was only doing all of this to hurt you more than you already were. Nikki leaned in closer, so that no one but you and her would hear the conversation, that horrid grin still on her face as she spoke,

"Listen, I want you to see when I break his heart. I want you to see how badly it tears him up...I want you to see him cry-"

Then you completely lost it. Nikki gasped and was on ground the next second, her lips was starting to bleed badly. You heard someone going down from the stairs. It was Gerard. He stared at you for a moment and then at Nikki.

“Ahreya?!” he returned his eyes on you, anger and confusion all mixed in the expression of his face.

You couldn’t handle him looking at you like this. It will look like it was all your fault and that you started it. Nikki’s friends ran to help her, asking her if she’s alright.

You stared at the fist you used to punch Nikki, then at Gerard, then all too suddenly you ran out of the door, passing Gerard quickly, and onto the rain…

“Stop! Ahreya, why the hell did you punch my girlfriend?” you heard Gerard yelling behind you. He was following you. You ignored him and started to walk on the sidewalk faster. Tears started to flow from your eyes.

“Ahreya, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUNCH MY GIRLFRIEND?! Give me a fucking answer!!!”