Jaded

I kicked the dirt beneath my feet, sighing with each step. I thought to myself, how did this get so far. I continued to mentally retrace my steps, trying to figure out exactly why I ended up in detention minutes ago and why I punched my best friend. But as I continued to search for answers, I kept coming up with the same one. Addison Paige Bristow. She was subconsciously the root of all my questions. Addison had bewitched me, with her airy voice, honest brown eyes, and a smile that could charm a snake.

I met her in the beginning of Junior year, she was new and hid within the crowds of the busy halls. I thought back to her first day, she was in my homeroom class, and that was where I first set eyes on her. It wasn’t that whole cliché love at first sight that most scripts follow. No, when I first met her all feelings towards her were platonic, with a hint of intrigue.

I remember when she came in a week late, and was formally introduced in homeroom. She wore a cream coloured dress with roses printed on it, a pair of flat boots and an oversized cardigan. I watched her as she had her head cast low and awkwardly rolled her left ankle, while her hands picked at the strap of the messenger bag she wore. I remember soaking in her appearance, never seeing such a reserved girl in the halls of this school before. She was refreshing.

I mean c’mon, not only did she wear a dress but one where the skirt covered most of her legs- the hem resting just above her knee. It was rare to see such modesty in a girl her age, and at this school. I watched her stand there timidly as Mr. Stevens announced her to the class, asking her to say a bit about herself. She bit her pale pink lips before responding, her hands toying with the strap of her bag more so than before.

Her voice was small as I heard her speak for the first time, “Umm, hi. I’m Addison.” She started. She kept her gaze low, and her introduction short. Addison was unlike any girl I had met before, she was beautiful but somehow unaware of that. She was reserved and polite. Her timid personality and nervous tendencies reminded me of those of my own.

After her introduction, Mr. Stevens pointed out the seat to the row on my left and one seat in front of me. Instead of listening to the fascinating history lecture Mr. Stevens continued the morning with, I watched- analyze if you will, Addison. She sat with her back straight, reading glasses perched on her nose, and legs crossed. She listened intently taking notes, her dark straight brown hair pulled to one side, and her eyes never straying from the path from the chalkboard to her notebook.

After class I watched as Addison gathered her things promptly, placing them in her bag neatly before pulling out a folded piece of paper and venturing off into the hall. I wasn’t one to just go up to someone and start talking, especially not a girl so instead, I followed no more than three steps behind her. She walked slowly, looking down at her schedule taking a few timid steps in the general direction she assumed her class would be in.

Luckily for me, her second block was AP Chemistry across the hall from my Biology class. No, I wasn’t stalking her, I was just fascinated by her.

Time passed as I continued walking home from detention remembering the day I met Addison. Like that day, rain began to pour.

“Shit--” I cursed noting the sudden down pour. A sense of déjà-vu took over as I continued to reminisce the day I met Addison.

A day of stalking passed as I found myself wandering the empty halls on my way to the main doors. After lunch I had lost track of the new girl, the one I’d been following for a good portion of the morning. I wasn’t even sure why I was following her, at first glance she was ordinary- you know, nothing special, so why was I so intrigued by her?

Pushing through the double doors of the school I cursed noticing the harsh breeze, and piercing rain drops.

“Shit!” I mumbled, remembering I didn’t bring an umbrella- and that I had spent my last bit of change on lunch earlier- leaving me without bus fair.

The clouds indicated this was only the beginning of the storm, and a break in the showers was not coming anytime soon. I cursed to myself under my breath as I prepared myself to dash home. I stood under the banister, shielding myself and the front foyer from the the rain.

I ventured into the rain, taking my first step from under the banister waiting for the drops to soak me, but it never came. I looked above to see, and noticed an umbrella barely hovering over my head. Confused, I followed the hand holding the umbrella to a petite girl, in a dress standing on her tippy-toes to extend the umbrella over my head.

A faint smile crept up on her lips before she spoke, “Its terrible out here, you looked like you would have been soaked.”

“I-umm, t-thanks...” I stammered glancing down at the new girl.

“I’m Addison Bristow, I new here.” She introduced herself, extending her hand politely. Polite being one of the many words I learned to describe her with. After a day of practically stalking her, what were the odds she’d be the one coming up to me? As I remembered the day I met Addison, I mentally laughed at the irony of it all.

“William!” I heard an all too familiar voice call behind me. I turned around to find Addison carefully maneuvering around puddles to catch up.

“Wilby, you’re soaked!” Addison noted, as she held the umbrella as high as she could to cover the two of us, seeing as she was significantly shorter than I was.

“I’m fine.” I explained in a blunt fashion. I don’t know why I was being rude to Addison, I just couldn’t help it. “Shouldn’t you be with Mike?”

“I was with him earlier, now I want to know your side of the story.” Addision said as continued to follow me, brushing off my rudeness. Much to her dismay, I remained quiet, taking longer strides knowing she’d have a hard time keeping up with the disadvantage of being smaller than I was.

“Wilby.” Addision pressed, placing her hand in mine tugging on it to grasp my attention. “Please. What’s wrong, why are you mad at me?”

We stood again, along the sidewalk with nothing but her bright pink umbrella hovering over our heads. Addision enlaced our fingers together as her dark coffee coloured bore into my own. There was nothing but genuine concern sparkling in them and not a trace of anger for my behaviour towards her. I tried not to look at her, knowing- just as she’d done before, she’d get what she wanted. Her charm worked like magic on me, just a simple bat of her mascara coated lashes and the shining glimmer in her dark eyes were enough to convince me of anything. There was no immune to her charm, all I could do was avoid it by keeping my eyes fixed on her shoes.

“Wilby.” She called again. I could just picture her head was tilted to the side, while her lashes continued to flap open and close in the innocent manner she always held- I didn’t need to look at her to know what she was doing. I just knew. Like I knew she was currently gnawing at her bottom lip as she waited for a sign of acknowledgement on my part.

“Wilby, why won’t you talk to me anymore?” She spoke lightly, squeezing my hand in hers before dropping it. It was killing me that there was so much hurt evident in her voice but I was supposed to be mad at her. She was with Mike behind my back! They were my two best friends and they hooked up, without bothering to tell me. Not only that, but I was in love with her. Of course she never knew, because I only recently admitted to myself how I really felt about her- but that’s not the point. She never even told me she had possible feelings for Mike- it was just so out of the blue!

“There’s nothing to talk about Addie.”

“What?” She stepped back, before leaning in- catching my gaze. “Of course there is! Or have you forgotten about that bloody nose you had earlier- or the black eye you gave Mike?”

Silence. She had me there.

“Wilby, please- I’m begging now. What’s going on?”

“Addie- really. It was nothing.” I lied. “We were arguing about some stuff with the band, and it got out of hand. I was having a bad day- thats all.”

I watched as Addison’s shoulders loosened up, and her furrowed brows unknot themselves as her eyes began to glimmer again. At my words, she placed her free hand with my own for a second time, leading the pair of us down the street towards our homes.

“Are you sure? Because if something is wrong you know you can always come to me.” Addison smiled, squeezing my hand for reassurance.

“Yeah- its nothing.” I pretended. “Everything’s just fine.”