You Are Not Alone.

Sunday morning was upon us. I rolled on my side and looked at the clock. It read sometime around ten and I hadn’t gotten up yet. I rubbed my eyes and stayed there, staring at the opposite wall. It was blank, just like it was when we lived in Washington. I yawned and turned back over.

“Harlow, get up,” Mom said, knocking on my door softly.

I groaned and sat up, rubbing my eyes more. Couldn’t I ever just sleep in peace? I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and moved slowly across my room to my window. There I opened it and seen Brendon lying out in the middle of his backyard. I smiled and walked back across my room into my closet, choosing an outfit and holding it in my arms.

I wandered into the bathroom and took a quick, warm shower. When I got out, I threw my clothes on and dried and did my dark brown hair. I threw open the bathroom door and sped down the hallway. I threw my dirty clothes on the floor and then walked over to the window. Brendon was still lying on the lawn. I decided that I would call him and see if he realized I was looking at him.

I looked at my bed and then spotted the pink phone lying within the covers. I basically pounced on it and flipped it open, searching for Brendon’s number. When I found it, I hit talk and waited as it rang and rang. I walked back to the window and sat there, watching Brendon fail at finding his phone. He finally found it and flipped it open.

“Hey, Harlow!” he yelled- I could hear him from the window… without the phone.

“Hey Brendon. What are you doing?” I asked, a smile spreading across my face.

“Just sitting here, yanno.” Brendon looked around and then seen me. I tried to play it off like he didn’t see me. “What about you, stalker-girl?”

I glared at him and said, “Well, I’m watching…”

“Me?” Brendon asked, starting to laugh.

“Obviously. I was wondering if we could hang out. Just you and me, you know?”

I watched as he sat up and stretched. “I would love to hang out.”

I really felt too clingy, but this was my new friend and maybe my only friend in the entire city.

“Okay, I’ll walk over and we’ll find something to do,” I said, pulling on my shoes and searching for some jewelry.

“Oh, alright.”

xxxx

Brendon and I had a good day. We sang to every song that came on the radio, ate ice cream at the park, and even had a heart-to-heart. He now knew how I felt about this entire friendship thing with Leah. But there wasn’t anything more to it. Brendon and I had become close in two days. I never thought I’d find someone like him- definitely not in Vegas.

But we only could reminisce now. It was in our past and graduation was getting closer and closer. Brendon and I had grown quite close and I had stopped the friendship, or whatever it was, with Leah. I was friends with everyone in Panic! Michael and I would go to every gig. Everything was changing, and fast.

Now it was May and graduation was only three weeks away. Brendon and I were sitting outside in the sweltering heat, eating lunch.

I picked at the grass as I chewed through my ham sandwich.

“So, I heard you got accepted into the art school back in Seattle,” he mumbled, trying to avoid the situation.

“Of course I did,” I replied, after I swallowed of course.

“Well congrats. Why didn’t you tell anyone?” he asked.

“Well, I guess I didn’t want to make anyone sad that I was going away.”

“Who would you make sad? When you leave, I’ll probably be gone.”

I frowned. The thought of Brendon leaving killed me.

“How can you be so sure?” I asked, taking another bite of my sandwich.

“I just have this gut-feeling about it. I mean, I don’t want to leave you if you stayed here with your family. But the band has to go off, make a record, and tour.”

I sighed. “Bren, don’t make me sad. It’s hard enough to be accepted into a college that your twin brother won’t be at.”

“What do you mean? Didn’t Mike get accepted into a college up there?” The expression on his face went from excited for me, to sad and pitiful for me.

I shook my head. “He decided to go to school here.”

“Harlow, you’re going to have to grow up and live without him sometime.”

I glared at him and took a drink of my water, which was starting to get warm from the blazing sun.

“I know I do.”

His face was so precious. He smiled at me and I smiled back.

“Do you want to do anything tonight? It’s my first Friday that’s free in a long while,” Brendon spoke softly.

“Sure. But why isn’t the band playing tonight?” I asked.

“Well, Ryan needs a break and he’s going off to see California for the weekend. Family trips, woo.” He said the last part while he spun his finger in the air.

“I see, so you’re resorting to Harlow, the stalker-girl.” I smirked.

“Oh, now you’re starting to accept the name! GO B-DEN!” he got up and started dancing around.

I rolled my eyes and got up, walking towards the building. He must have noticed through his ‘HARLOW-FINALLY-ACCEPTS-HER-NICKNAME’ dance because he came running towards me.

“I was totally kidding, Har.”

I glared at him. “Suuuuuure you are.”

He rolled his eyes and we headed into the school to start class.

xxxx

That night, we had planned to have a movie night at my house. My family was going out and Michael was going to another friend’s house to spend the weekend, so I thought that I would have Brendon over. We planned all of this through a note in English. Brendon would bring over his collections of DVDs.

“HAAAARLOOOOOOW!” he yelled at me as he walked through the door. I was standing in the hallway upstairs, trying to hide from him.

I coughed and then walked down the stairs. “Was there a need to yell?” I asked, stumbling down the steps. I was always clumsy when he was around.

“Sure there was. There always is a need,” he said, shoving the stack at me.

“This one,” I said pointing to a random movie. I didn’t care if I had seen it before or not.

“Okay,” he said, picking it up off the pile and handing it to me.

I sighed and walked into the front room where the television was and sat on the floor, playing with the DVD player. Brendon followed and flopped on the couch.

“You know, I’ve realized that maybe Ryan and Leah are bad for each other,” he said.

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

“Because when Ryan wants to hang out with her, she’s off with someone else. She’ll come around when she wants to. That’s hurting my best friend.”

I turned around and glared at him. “BREN, I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND!” I put the DVD into the player and ran over to tackle Brendon.

He squealed when I landed right in the middle of him. I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants.

“GET OF HAR. OFF, OFF, OFF!” he yelled at me.

I kept laughing and finally rolled off of him onto the floor. I hit it with a thud and laughed even harder. My face must have been red by now. Bren just looked at me funny.

“Whaaaaaaat?” I asked, looking at him after I caught my breath.

“You’re awfully weird,” he said as he pressed play on the movie.

“Shut up. It’s not like you aren’t either,” I replied, getting up off the floor and sitting next to Brendon.

He reached over and pinched me and made me squeak. I growled and then the movie started.

xxxx

Almost three-fourths of the way through the movie, Bren and I were fast asleep on the couch. When I woke up, it was close to ten thirty and my family would be home at eleven. I moved a little to get my hand out from behind him.

“Bren,” I spoke quietly, pushing him.

He moved and breathed in. “Hm?” He settled back in and opened his eyes.

“Time to get up. We fell asleep during the movie.”

“Really?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. “Must have been boring since I’ve seen it a lot.”

I smiled at him. “WELL YOU COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING, URIE!”

“SHUT UP, RITCHIE.”

In this instance our eyes locked. I never thought that this would ever happen. His eyes never left mine. We sat in silence for ten seconds before I said something.

“BUT YOU DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING TO ME! SO YOU SHUT UP, URIE!”

We blinked again and sat up. I rubbed my head and yawned.

“Poor, poor stalker-girl. Tired from stalking me while I slept,” he chuckled.

“I was asleep too, Urie,” I grumbled under my breath.

He chuckled and I glared at him once more before standing up. He held out his hand and I took it gladly, pulling him to his feet.

“Well thanks, Bren, for coming over.”

He nodded. “Anytime, Harley.”

No one ever called me ‘Harley’. I wouldn’t let anyone call me that. But when Bren walked in, so did that name and I guessed I didn’t mind it anymore.

Brendon pressed his body against mine and wrapped his arms around me. I wrapped mine around him, pressing my cheek to his chest. I snuggled in and he rocked me back and forth.

“Go get some rest, Har,” he spoke quietly, almost a whisper. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

He pulled away, but before he did, he kissed my forehead. My face flushed and my arms dropped to my sides.

“G-goodnight Bren,” my voice shook as I called after him.

“Night,” he spoke quietly, grabbing the movies off the coffee table and walking out.

I touched my forehead where Bren had kissed it. I blinked a couple times and then flushed more. He reopened the door and I hurried to pull my arm down by my side.

“Almost forgot,” he said, slipping a CD out from between two DVD boxes. “It’s our new demo and stuff. I thought you’d like it.”

He handed me the CD. “Goodnight, Har.”

I blinked and he closed the door.

xxxx

The next morning I had a rude awakening. I had this annoying tapping noise on my window. I got up and pulled the blinds up. Brendon was standing in my backyard throwing pebbles at my window. I pushed it open and yelled at him.

“YOU,” I yelled, “ARE SOOOOOOO DEAD WHEN I GET DOWN THERE!”

Brendon looked at the ground. “Just get down here. We’re gonna go have a fun Saturday, Lo-Lo.”

I sighed. “Fine, I’ll be down in twenty, okay?”

He nodded and I stalked off to get ready. I locked myself into the closet and changed into something cool so if it was hot, like it always was, I wouldn’t be dying. I stumbled over other shoes as I pushed open my door and grabbed my purse and phone off my night stand and sat them on my bed, rustling through everything. I ran to the bathroom and washed my face and replaced the makeup that had been there. I went back to my room and grabbed my purse and phone. I shot downstairs and out the back door.

Brendon grabbed my hand- it was normal- and we walked back to his house. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going because everyone already knew. We got into Bren’s car and I sat my purse on the floor and pulled the seat belt over me.

“What’s on your mind, Bren?” I asked.

He shook his head and concentrated on getting into Vegas. “Girl problems. See, I really like this girl. I’ve known her for a while now and she just keeps brushing it off like it’s nothing. She probably knows that I like her, that’s why.”

I looked down at my flip flops. “Well I’m not sure what to say, Brenny. I know that I do like someone, too. But I’m sure he doesn’t feel the same way.”

I fidgeted with my fingers and played with the bottom of my shorts.

“Not fair, is it?” he said, looking at me and then leaned his elbow on the bottom of the window and pushed his fingers through his dark hair.

“No, never is. But I just wish that he’d know.”

He nodded. “I’m sure the girl I like likes someone else anyway.”

I blinked and focused on the road. The air conditioning was making my face cold. Brendon was making me wonder who this girl was that he liked. I didn’t want to force it out of him; I was just being curious as ever.

“Bren, I’m sure the girl you like likes you back. You have to be positive,” I said, looking from the road to him.

“I’ll never know until I ask, now will I?” he sternly said.

I nodded and then looked at my feet again. The paint on my toenails was chipping badly and they definitely needed some clear-coat to keep that from happening again. I looked up to see that we were now entering into ‘Sin City.’ I had been warned time and time again about this place and never did it cease to amaze me.

“When do you plan on telling this girl?” I asked.

“Very soon. Before school is over,” he shrugged.

“Well I’ll plan on telling this guy within the same time,” I smirked.

I wonder if he’s finally catching on, I thought. I wonder if it’s me he’s talking about. But if it is, shouldn’t I be afraid that he’ll leave me behind when he goes off to be with Panic!?

xxxx

Brendon just wanted to eat Breakfast at IHOP and play at the park that day. Since Ryan was gone, we’d gone without him- carrying on the tradition.

We had finished eating breakfast and we were now sitting at the park. It was quiet. The sky was gray and no one was anywhere near the park. We were sitting under the shade of the roof-like thing on the play-place.

“So tell me about this girl, Bren,” I said, poking him in the side.

“She’s so… beautiful. She makes me smile. She’s the best thing to ever happen in this stupid place, besides Panic! of course.” The way he smiled when he said all that stuff made my heart beat fast. “She and I, we have this thing about us. You can feel the sparks fly and all I want to do is kiss her and hold her.”

I giggled. “Bren, you hopeless romantic.”

He shot me a dirty look and then started reminiscing about her.

“Tell me…” he said, looking off into the distance and then looking back at me, “about this guy you like.”

“Well, he’s so… handsome,” I started, repeating everything he’d said about the girl. “He makes me smile. He’s the best thing to ever happen in this stupid place, besides Pan- I mean.”

I smirked and he growled at me.

“HARLOW RITCHIE… WHY MUST YOU COPY ME?!” he screamed, tackling me and making me fall backwards.

I put my hands on his muscle-y arms. I was creating friction by just touching him, or there was sparks and tingling in my hands. He was hovering over my small frame, our eyes locked on one another. We were so quiet; we heard the rain start falling- quiet and soft then growing into full-blown storm. It wasn’t like one of those normal storms either; it wasn’t windy and the thunder was just amazing.

Brendon sat up, pulling me up with him. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

“Harlow,” he started, quietly. “It’s you. It’s you that I like. No one else could ever be you. You’re amazing- your smile, personality, everything.”

My heart pounded faster than it ever had in my life.

“B-Bren? A-Are you sure?” I asked. I was so unsure because this had happened before and come to find out it was a hoax for a giggle for the most popular girl back home.

“I’m surer than I have been ever.” He pulled me closer and closer until our faces were less than an inch away.

I blinked a couple of times. “Well,” -got up, walking into the rain- “if it’s raining outside and it’s my first kiss, we have to kiss in the rain.”

He followed me, grabbing onto my hand and pulling me close again, the rain drenching us and running all over. Our lips found each other and we stood there for at least five minutes. When I started to shiver, Brendon wrapped his arms around me and led me back underneath the protection of the roof on the play-set.

“Brendon?” I asked, sitting down Indian style next to him.

He looked at me and smiled. “Yes, ‘Lo?”

“What’s this mean for us?” I asked, snuggling close to his wet body.

“Everything,” he replied, wrapping his arm around my back and intertwining our free hands, setting them in his lap. “But really, what do you mean?”

“What are we now?”

“Brendon and Harlow.”

I gave him a funny look. “No, really, Bren.”

“We’re Brendon and Harlow, no doubt.”

“I’m being serious!” I stammered.

“I AM TOO!” he copied.

“Well are we in a relationship now?” I blinked at him.

“If that’s what you want.”

“But I want it to be partly your decision, too,” I muttered.

“Well it is. I’ll do whatever you want me to,” he beamed.

“Well in that case…” I let his hand go and sat up on my knees, facing him, and kissed him on the lips one more time.