Fly Me Away

It felt good walking out the front gates of school and not caring about getting in trouble.

It felt good when Jackson walked over to collect me in front of dozens of gawking school girls.

It felt good driving fast down the country road with my window completely open.

But most of all, it felt good getting away from my real life, even just for a moment.

I didn’t know where we were going and neither did Jackson. He was just driving and I was just going with it. We weren’t far away from town – only half an hour or so – but it looked like we were in the middle of nowhere. There were wide open fields on one side and a forest of tall, thirsty trees on the other.

I liked the simplicity of it; It helped me clear my head.

I tried not to think about the consequences of my actions, because that would just get me all stressed again. I wasn’t going to lie to Mom. I decided that I would tell her exactly where I went, exactly why I went, and exactly who I went with. If she understood, then that was great, makes my life a little bit easier. If she didn’t though... Oh whatever. Stop thinking about it Maggie! Whatever happens, happens. Let’s see how long that philosophy lasts.

I leaned my head against the side of the car and stuck my arm out the window. It was extremely sunny that day, almost cloudless, so the wind was warm and pleasant when it pushed against my hand.

Jackson hadn’t said a word since we left. I couldn’t blame him, I was in a particularly strange mood. I had just lost my friend again and obtained a pretend boyfriend within a single minute. It was difficult enough to talk to me without the mood swings and the blast of deafening wind.

I felt overwhelmingly grateful to Jackson for doing this; He had no obligation. In reality, I wasn’t even supposed to know that he was alive, but there he was, fulfilling my spontaneous request to escape everything and not complaining at all.

I pushed the button that shut my window, then smoothed my hair back into place.

“Why are you doing this for me?” I asked him, pulling my knee’s up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

“Because you asked me too. You’re my girlfriend now,” he replied casually, even going as far as to laugh lightly.

The comment ignited butterflies in my stomach, which wasn’t what I wanted it to do. I wanted that statement to have no effect on me whatsoever and I wanted to laugh about it as well.

I rested my head on my knees so I could stare at him shamelessly. It never ceased to amaze me how beautiful he was. He had the most touchable tanned skin I had ever seen, like a movie star who had been photoshopped for a magazine editorial. His hair was an untidy dark gold color, with a careless cut that framed his face and curled around the nape of his neck. His most desirable feature however, was undeniably his eyes; they were gentle and full of emotion, and that dreamy peppermint green just made my heart melt.
My eyes ran down his broad shoulders and over his dark tartan dress shirt. I smiled when I noticed that he looked like a scruffy farm boy. It was rolled up to his elbows and the top few buttons were undone, so the collar was left casually hanging open.

He glanced at me for a second and I caught a glimpse of those soul stabbing eyes of his...

“Am I?” I said quietly into my shoulder, more to myself than to him. I knew he’d heard it though, there was suddenly a tense atmosphere in his car.

I waited desperately for his response, but I only got silence. It went on for a lot longer then I was comfortable with. The sickening feeling in my stomach grew bigger and more painful as the seconds trudged by.

After a seemingly long time, I gave up on him answering. He’d chosen to ignore my pitiable question which was fair enough, but I was still embarrassed. He was just trying not to hurt my feelings.

I sighed; of course. Silly Maggie.

------

“Can you pull over here?” I said into my shoulder, still in the same position 20 minutes later.

“Why?” he sounded concerned, “Is something wrong?”

I shook my head, “No, I just feel like running.”

“Running...” he trailed off, but slowed down to a stop when he saw a shoulder on the road.

I sat up straight and scurried out the passenger door. The field beside the car was just perfect. I didn’t care who it belonged to, I was just going to run straight through it until I completely ran out of energy. That was the plan. There was a tree far away in the distance; In my head, I could make it to that tree in one piece. Fitted walking shorts weren’t ideal for running, especially when your footwear was even less suitable, but I wouldn’t let it stop me.

I hurriedly leapt the fence and took off over the grass.

“Maggie!” Jackson called after me, but the wind beating into my ears drowned him out.

I found myself smiling as I ran. My eyes were trained on the tree in front of me and I wasn’t feeling tired at all. After a good minute of solid, full throttle running, I started to weaken. Then, in my weakened state, I wondered mindlessly what Jackson was doing. I slowed and made the mistake of glancing back over my shoulder. I didn’t see anything though, because that was when I tripped and went tumbling to the ground, rolling forwards once before landing with a thud on my back. There wasn’t any pain involved in the fall, the plush grass made sure of that.

I was still as I squinted my eyes at the sun for a second, trying to regain my bearings. A silhouette appeared and blocked the sun from in front of me. I cringed – Jackson stood there with a grin on his face.

I put my hands over my face to cover up my embarrassment. I knew why he was smiling, I just fell over and almost face planted into the ground. I was having such a good day....

Jackson laughed.

I groaned and rolled over onto my side, nestling into a semi-sleeping position, with my head flopped against the earth and my arms wrapped around my torso. I closed my eyes and pretended it didn’t bother me.

“Would your real boyfriend have run with you?” I heard him ask. It felt oddly cold lying in his shadow.

I shook my head against the grass, then put on my best pretend angry voice, “No, but he sure as hell would have caught me before I fell.”

There was a thump on the grass in front of me and I jumped. Jackson was lying beside me, looking the most human I had ever seen him. There was less than a 30cm ruler between us, which made me squirm, but he wasn’t even looking at me, he was staring up at the clouds – a quizzical look on his face.

“...but a human boy wouldn’t have been able to catch you, had he not been running with you before it happened.”

I rolled my eyes as if he’d missed something obvious, “That’s not the point Jackson. You’re not a human.”

“So you were meaning me.”

“Of course I was....”

“But I’m not really your boyfriend,” he laughed.

My teeth ground together and I rolled over to face the opposite direction, “Well make up your mind already!”

I felt like crying again. It’s funny how a stupid, playful comment can cause so much damage to a damaged person.

“...This was a stupid idea,” I grumbled, heaving myself to my feet so fast that I felt dizzy. Jacksons hand appeared on the small of my back to steady me innocently. I stepped away from him and trudged off towards the car.

----

I was now staring at the face of certain death – my front door. It was dark outside. Turned out we were further away from my place than first thought. We also had to pick up my car from school, so it took a bit of time and a lot of fuel to go back and retrieve it.

Me and Jackson were at odds with each other. I was finding it difficult to not snap at everything he said, and he knew it. He just did his best to say only what I wanted to hear, which was mostly nothing.

I opened the door and walked in, dumping my school bag on the ground.

“Maggie!” Mom cried, rushing over, but stopping a few feet away. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to fuel the fire; I would wait for the 20 questions.

“Your school called me today and said you didn’t show up to some of your classes! And then you didn’t come back....are you okay? I was so worried I thought you might have got sick again and tried to drive home but crashed or something... are you sick honey? You don’t look very well, you know you’re supposed to see the nurse. Come here let me—”

Moms eyes widened and her rambling suddenly cut off when Jackson walked in the door after me. She stared blankly for a moment, before I saw something click in her head. Her expression rapidly changed from worried to angry and her face turned pink. “No... no! I will not have some college boy taking my daughter out of school!!”

She raised a finger and thrust it in Jackson’s direction ferociously. Jackson didn’t respond. He just looked tired more than anything. I had asked him to come in with me, just for a little bit so I could show her rather than tell her, but he had to keep quiet and let me do the talking. He agreed with no complaints.

“Mom stop,” I said, feeling too exhausted to put any emphasis on anything, “I asked him to do it.”

“Of course you did! You’re just a little girl!”

Mom looked like she was on the verge of insanity. She had been so nice about the Jackson situation previously; she even approved of me having a boyfriend. Surely she was expecting something like this to happen at some point.

She walked over and prodded Jackson in the shoulder like a mad woman, “You should have known better!! You’re the adult!”

“Mom!” I cried out, feeling my own temper start to rise. She took a startled step back. “I’m not a little girl! I’m 18 years old, I’m an adult too, or have you forgotten?! I made the decision here! Me! Don’t you dare point a finger at him.”

Mom dropped her hand to her side – her face was shocked. Honestly, even I couldn't believe that I had spoken to my own mother like that.

Me and Mom were the same though. We both had raging tempers when they surfaced, which was rarely ever, because we both thought things through. I could see right then that taking Jackson in with me had been a mistake. Her motherly instincts took control and she just wanted to save her baby girl from the monster called ‘growing up’.

She frowned, then switched to her disappointed look, which I hated with a passion.

“....You’re right Maggie, you’re not a little girl anymore, but I’m still your Mother! I’m still responsible for your education, even if that’s all you let me do. I don’t want you to throw your life away. I just... I didn’t think you were the kind of girl who ran off with boys. I didn’t raise you like that.”

She was right – she didn’t raise me like that, which was exactly why she was wrong.

She didn’t get it; she was making assumptions just like Pip had. She didn’t stop and think like she usually did. I suddenly felt claustrophobic. Why didn’t anyone ever listen to me...?

Tears started welling up in my eyes as I stared at her in disbelief. I was so vulnerable. I hated it.

“I....you...” I didn’t even know what I was going to say.

The tears fell at that point. They made it right down to my jaw and plummeted to the ground like drops of cement. Mom watched them fall, her expression not wavering. For the second time in 4 days, I was breaking down.

Then I did something that surprised everyone in the room, including me; I turned away from my Mom. My face was down and I started wiping furiously at the tears. All I could see was a few strands of wet hair sticking across my eyes and Jacksons farm boy shirt that had once made me smile.

I felt a huge surge of emotion when he wrapped his arms across my back and pulled me into him. That was when I really started to cry.

“Maggie...” I heard Mom say vaguely, but my ears were ringing like there was no tomorrow. I pressed my face hard into his shirt and breathed him in like he was a drug. Jackson used his hand to push some of the hair back from my face, while still keeping me held close. I could feel him trying to calm me down again, but it didn’t seem to be working well as of late. Everything I was feeling was too strong.

Then he spoke and I heard it rumble in his chest, “She has had a rough day Donna, please listen to what she has to say. You are her mother.”

The way he said the last part was so meaningful; so powerful. It made me stop crying. It made me realize how stupid we were both being.

There was a long silence after he said it, broken only occasionally by a small sob escaping from me.

“I...but...of course I’ll listen,” Mom breathed. I felt like an outsider listening in on a conversation I wasn’t supposed to be hearing.

Jackson had being the compassionate hero down to a fine art. He leaned his head down so it was next to mine, tightening our embrace.

“I’m going to go now, alright?” he whispered so gently into my ear. The shiver radiated down to my finger tips and I lifted my head slightly so I could see him. I wanted to shake my head and say no.

He took his arms away and I suddenly felt like a lost puppy. I searched his eyes for something, but found nothing of interest. No sign that he felt what I felt. I could only see sympathy.

“Maggie,” Mom called from behind me. I twisted to look at her and her face dropped.

Jackson slipped away so as not to interfere, but I turned back to give him one last fleeting look.

Mom walked up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. She smiled sadly and wiped a stray tear from her eye.

“I’m so sorry Maggie, come sit down and tell me about it honey.”