Why Won't You Fall Into My Arms?

I stirred peacefully, feeling excess warmth run through me as if I was pressed to a heater. From a bleary eyed glance at the window I knew the storm had blown over. It was still dark though and the clock to my left told me it was in the early hours of the morning.

A strong arm was draped protectively around my waist so when I tried to move it held me fast. I eased it off me, cheeks flushing, as carefully as possible so as not to wake Jack. Lord only knows the smugness he’d simply radiate if he woke up in this position.

“Where are you going?” a husky voice mumbled into my hair while I was trying to shift him off of me. I spluttered in shock. He’d been awake. That pervert had been awake this whole time!

“I see you decided you liked it in my arms somewhere during the night,” he chuckled.

“Or rather that you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself.”

“Soph,” he whispered into my ear, his breath and closeness raising the hairs on my arms. “Look at us.”

I did, and instantly burnt up in embarrassment. We were both over his side of the bed, my body nestled into his chest as one arm was sprawled over my waist. It was clear that, at some unconscious moment, I had moved into him. I had moved into him!

“It’s okay, I know I’m irresistible.”

“I was asleep, I was probably just cold, don’t flatter yourself.”

“Well you’re not going anywhere now.”

“Jack,” I moaned.

I was so mortified; I just wanted to bury my head somewhere and never move. Of course, that would mean burying my head in Jack’s chest which was not acceptable.

“Stop this Jack,” I pulled sharply away from him before sitting up. “You can’t just treat me like another girl you want to bed. It’s not fair on me and it’s not right since we’re possibly the only two people on the planet. God only knows what’s happened to our families and here we are cuddling in bed.”

He watched me have my little rant before tracing a finger along my arm, leaving goose bumps in its wake.

“Why can’t I treat you like a girl? You are a girl after all.”

“You don’t like me like that; this is all just another way to wind me up. You’ve already proved that when you left me yesterday.”

He cringed and closed his eyes tightly. We both let out long sighs, although our reasons for them were very different. Jack was frustrated, he was angry that I wasn’t going to let his earlier moment of weakness go. I was scared, I was fighting off the horrible feelings that hadn’t left me alone since he’d walked out of the front door.

The worst part of it had been how much I had missed him. It hadn’t been how mortified I was or how horrified I was at wanting him. It was that I had stood in his shower and cried because I just wanted him there.

The feelings swarming my blood stream and travelling the length of my body were unfamiliar. Or rather, they hadn’t been felt in a long long time and I had promised myself I’d never let myself feel them again. Especially not for Jack Adams. It seemed I had broken my promise.

“Soph,” he opened his eyes slowly to take me all in. I sat rigidly beside him, fearing the words I already knew he was about say. “I’m sorry. I panicked. I wanted to kiss you, God I wanted to kiss you, but I freaked out and ran away. I’ll never do that again, if I ever get that lucky I’ll kiss you with everything I have.”

“Stop it,” I groaned because he was making the feelings so much worse. So much stronger. “You’re Jack Adams. I’m nothing to you, and you’re nothing to me, that’s how it’s been for years. A couple of nights aren’t going to change that. It was probably a good thing you left because it would have been a mistake anyway.”

I lied. I put up the wall between us with a lie. He meant something to me, even if I was too stubborn to accept it, and it would never have been a mistake. I had wanted to kiss him when we were thirteen years old and I had wanted to kiss him last night and I wanted to kiss him at that moment.

“Is that what you reall y think? That kissing me would have been a mistake?”

I didn’t meet his eyes. I couldn’t. I was a bad liar and just one glance from his blue blue eyes would give me away.

“Well in that case…”

I felt the covers move, the mattress shift, as he got stiffly up. I didn’t watch him but I knew that he had left, left once again. Instantly, I felt guilty at having told him that him, us, would be a mistake. It was a necessary lie though. It stopped us from getting any closer. I couldn’t afford for us to get any closer, I didn’t want him breaking my heart.

I lay back down, alone yet again before hearing a commotion of loud bangs.

“Jack?” I called out into the deafening silence. When I received no reply I bounded out of bed and rushed along the black hallway to see the stairs. Jack lay crumpled up at the bottom, eyes closed in what I feared was unconsciousness. I let out a shocked cry, frozen with my hand grasping the banister like it was the only thing keeping me upright. “Jack?” I asked, my voice shaking.

I squinted but couldn’t make out any movement. A gripping fear had me trapped so completely that even my breath was strangled. Tripping slightly in my haste, I vaulted down the stairs to kneel beside him.

“Jack?” I shook him gently, scared that I’d hurt him even more. I couldn’t work out how this had happened, and so quickly. One minute we were fighting then the next her was gone and he was hurt. What was I supposed to do? I wasn’t strong enough to carry him anywhere, I didn’t know CPR; I was useless.

I was hyperventilating. The silence was smothering me and all I wanted was for Jack to open his eyes. My hand gripped his, squeezing his fingers as if that alone would save him.

“Calm down,” a groggy voice murmured.

In shock and relief I yelped again before bringing his hand up to my cheek. I leant into the warmth, all of my feelings rushing upon me, refusing to be denied at that moment.

“Thank God, thank God.”

I bent down over him and lifted his still perfect hair away from his eyes. The blue orbs looked up into mine.

“Are you alright? You just fell down the stairs.”

Stupefied with my emotions, it was an effort to not just strangle him with a hug.

“Yeah I realise that Soph,” he tried to chuckle but stopped and let out a groan instead.

“That’s what you get for being a smart ass,” I couldn’t help but smirk “now where does it hurt?”

“If I say on my lips will you kiss them better?”

“I really don’t think this is an appropriate time for you to be making comments like that”

“Au contraire now is the perfect time.”

I smiled, despite myself, sadly down at him. He was trying so hard to hide how much he had hurt himself falling down the stairs but I knew him better than that. He was little Jack Adams all over again, pretending that scraping his knee wasn’t a bit painful, even though there were tears collected in his eyes.

“Come on Romeo,” I said, stretching myself up and reaching down a hand to him “let’s get you back to bed.”

“Oh well, when you put it that way,” he smirked and let me help him up.

He was wobbly at first, unstable on his own feet, but before we’d even started up the stairs he barely needed me. I kept my hand around his waist anyway just in case. Every time he flinched or groaned I cringed with him, wanting to just take it all away from him. I’d never dealt with a situation like this before. Jason had always been the one tending me when I hurt myself, being the baby.

I peered across at the boy as we took it one step at a time. His beautiful eyes were scrunched up in concentration and I could already see the faint outlines of a bruise on the back of his neck. I had to stop myself from leaning in even closer to touch him, as if my arm around his waist wasn’t enough already.

“Are you sure you’re okay Jack?” I asked nervously.

“If you ask me that again,” he staggered somewhat into my side “then I’m going to have to assault you in your sleep.”

“Do that and you won’t have anything left to assault me with,” I rebuked quickly.

I untangled myself softly from him as we made it to the final step, knowing my attempt at helping him was only weighing him down. When I saw his face twist once again I was almost instantly back by his side.

“Do you want me to help you? It looks like you’re in pain.”

He shot me a dark look before it turned into a smirk.

“Oh you are in for it tonight now. It’s a good thing I keep condoms in my bed side cabinet.”

I scoffed at the nerve of him but refrained from physical contact. I didn’t want to cause him any more pain.

We made it to the bedroom where we both slumped exhausted onto the bed. It was only 2:48 in the morning.

“Let me have a look at you,” I reached over to where he lay and cautiously examined the bruises littering his arms.

“I’m fine for God’s sake Soph, can we just concentrate on sleep now? I’m so tired.”

“You fell down the stairs Jack. You are not
alright so stop giving me this bullshit. ”

“You’re sexy when you swear.”

I ignored him, pulling at his shirt so it exposed a bruising shoulder. I hissed out at the sight of him, brushing my fingertips lightly along his purpled skin. He should have been in pain but he remained there impassively, closing his eyes at my touch as if it barely bothered him.

“We need to get you cleaned up,” I made to move but Jack caught me around the waist with one arm.

“No we don’t. We need to go to sleep.”

His tone almost dared me to argue.

“You’re hurt Jack, at least let me get you some pain killers,” I reasoned.

“Sleep,” he just grunted, curling me up closer to him like a rag doll.

“Fine,” I sighed in frustration before settling under the covers. “But don’t you go getting any ideas. I’m only not kicking you off right now because I’m scared to hurt you even more.”

“You sure it’s not just because you like me holding you?”

I shivered, finding it suddenly very hard to deny. Feeling his comforting warmth, his even breath running through my hair, was something close to amazing. I was so comfortable there with him that I never wanted to move.

“It was stupid of me to storm off like that Soph, I’m sorry for worrying you. It was just... when you said about kissing me being a mistake... I got so angry. I don’t want you to feel that way about me,” he sighed.

“Just go to sleep Jack, that’s what you wanted after all. We don’t have to worry about these silly things right now.”

“I fell down a flight of stairs,” I heard him whisper “and you still don’t get it.”

“Goodnight Jack,” I whispered sternly, effectively ending all conversation.

His arm was still wrapped tightly around my waist, filling me with all kinds of dangerous intoxicating feelings. Carefully, curiously, Jack pulled me closer as if scared what my reaction would be. I pretended to remain oblivious to how close our bodies suddenly were. He buried his face in my hair and breathed in deeply.

“Goodnight Sophia.”