Astronaut.

Noah came back.

I can’t believe the bastard. I just… I have no idea what to say to him! I’m trying to understand why he believes that I could – or would – take him back the moment he returned. He has to earn me. I deserve to be earned by him. He can’t have me yet.

It’s enraging. I don’t know what to do with him. Do I tell him to piss off? Do I try to coax him into being better? I don’t even know why he came back. What happened, did Madeline dump him overseas? And what’s with all the tattoos? I don’t understand what he was thinking when he did that to his body. They’re beautiful, sure… and I want to know the stories they all have… but it was still stupid of him.

I’m beginning to wonder if I should have had an affair. Wait, no… not an affair. Noah and I werenot together. We aren’t anymore. He’s not my lover, he was never my husband, and… and… that’s that. If I had accepted any of the offers for relationships, I would have something on him. The baker gave me many bouquets of flowers. Why didn’t I do anything? I could have been pleasing myself all this time. But no, I had to stay true to Noah. I had to remain his and only his. Ihad to. That’s… just how it works.

I’m a little disappointed he didn’t do the same.

Who am I kidding? It really upsets me. I feel like I’m less to him now. Like… he can have other women. He doesn’t need me. That’s what his actions say. He’s over me, he doesn’t want me anymore, I shouldn’t hold him to anything. But that's so wrong!

He’s despicable. I missed him so much.



Jupiter sighed and closed the journal between her hands. Her heart was racing quietly in the cave of her chest. This was going to be interesting.

After a moment of nothing, she peered back into the pages. Here was her first entry, when she had first realized he was worthy of documenting. Every moment with him she had wanted to preserve and protect. She was attached to the seconds of her life where he held her hand and whispered her name. Even in the scandal of leaving her husband, he had stayed by her side. He had been loyal and perfect.

What had happened?

She ran her fingerprints gingerly over the pages. They smelled of old tears and smeared pencil markings. Her handwriting was neat and beautiful when she was calm. When she became upset as she had just now, her writing blurred together and slanted heavily. There were moments of deep emotion in this journal. Many memories of Lora Joan and Noah and her husband were in there, all the people who had been with her in those four years of loneliness. She would never forget, especially those first few weeks when she had fallen in love for the first time in her life.



Dear reader. I have fallen in love, and it isn’t with my husband.

Things to remember: he has golden eyes. His hair is black and very curly. His hands are soft. There is a scar on his left palm in the shape of a crescent moon. He doesn’t like chocolate. How strange. He doesn’t wear a hat outside like my husband does. I want to lick his cheek. He doesn’t have much facial hair… I don’t know if he shaves it or if he just doesn’t have it. His eyebrows are long. They’re fun to draw on. He is pretty, and anyone who knows him will agree.

This is all I have learned so far.

He makes me feel whole. My heart is just… so happy with him. My husband could never make me feel this good. I was beginning to feel like an empty old hag with him. Every morning I would wake up wondering what I was missing and how I could find it.

When I met the man I’m in love with, everything fit together. The puzzle pieces in my head make perfect sense now. He is right.

He seems perfect.

How? Well… he listens when I speak. He doesn’t dismiss me as a “silly woman.” It feels wonderful, being paid attention to. It’s important to feel like the person I’m with cares. And… he touches me sometimes. They’re just little touches… one on the shoulder when I say a sweet thing, a kiss on the cheek when he brings me home. I feel like a precious doll, wrapped up in his arms.

I saw him for the first time and already I knew that I wanted to know him. I didn’t care what kind of a person he was, if he was crazy or depressed. I didn’t know anything, but I wanted to know all. I would have left everything behind if he would just tell me his name. And his guitar, it’s so beautiful! He’s played a couple songs that he wrote, and I can’t wait to hear more. I love a man who plays an instrument. And he is so sweet to Lora Joan. I can’t believe it; he treats her like a real princess. She talks about him all the time, like he’s some superhero come to take her away.

Lora Joan hasn’t been very sick since I met him. She comes outside almost every day. She’s been drawing a lot more, as well. It’s so good to see her happy and healthy. I wish it could last forever.

In the future, I want to remember how a single moment can change a life forever.