Let Me Give The World To You
IX
I fall back on the pillow next to you, both of our bodies, our hearts, our minds completely exhausted. I roll over, pull you into my arms. Normally so composed, you're the one showing weakness at this point. I'm the one who has to take care of you now, as you sob into my chest, hot tears mixing with cooling sweat. I hate to see you hurting. You choke your incomprehensible regrets into my shoulder, fling your helpless arms out at me, trying to hold on despite knowing that you'll have to let me go.
"I don't...Demyx....this can't be the last time..no, no, it can't! I just...I won't let it!" you sputter out, clinging onto me like a child.
"Zexion...you said it yourself, there's no other way..."
"But...but...I hate how those...bastards!...just think they can control everything and everyone....no one ever questions THEIR indulgences! No one scolds them for one damn thing! I just...why Demyx? Why did it have to be us?"
"Perhaps we're just doomed for misery" I say softly. Your teary violet eyes look up to me, more vulnerable than they've ever been before.
"But I love you" you say simply. For once you, with all of your wits and knowledge, can't think of a word for this.
"I love you too" I whisper, tears of my own starting to form as the true magnitude of the situation washes over me. I grab you, pull you closer to me, you tighten the grip of your arms around me. We don't fall asleep for a while, too caught up in the last instance of each other's warmth that you and I will ever know, the last moment of togetherness. The permanent end.
---
Morning comes.
Silence is between us, hair is fixed, sheets are straightened, coats are donned. The door looms ahead of us, the exit to our crumbling sanctuary and the gateway to our end. I reach for the knob, fingers grazing it before you pull me back.
"Demyx, no matter what happens, I will always love you." you say, pulling me to you for what may be the last time. I return your embrace, your head resting on my chest. It barely lasts but a few moments before we both know we have to leave, to attend that fated meeting, to reveal ourselves as what we are, the nature of our hearts, the demise of our souls. Though according to them, we don't have any of the aforementioned things at all. But I know they're lying. Because I can feel your heart right now...and it's pounding erratically. I kiss you one last time, bittersweet love wrapped around agony, and we exit my room for the last time. We walk down the halls together, our coats billowing behind us, even our shadows never daring to touch.
---
"Well then, are there any more pressing matters to be dealt with? Anything between members that requires...attention?"
The Superior lords over the room in his great chair, forcing me to gaze up at him from my lowly position. I catch your eye from across the room, your facial composure breaks for a split second before you turn away from me and address the Superior.
"Seeing as...all relationships between members are forbidden, I have to state a confession--for the upholding of the rules of the Organization." you say, voice never wavering, cool expression never leaving your face.
"Oh?" the Superior says, clearly faking surprise. "Well well, what have you observed, Six?"
"De...number Nine and I rather, have been carrying on a romantic relationship for a significant amount of time now."
"Well, Zexion, I'm sure you know the...punishment for such things. So harsh....but then, Nine can be quite manipulative...I've known him to "associate" with other members of the Organization in the past in such a way as well...always detracting from our greater good. So tell me then, Six, were you taken advantage of in this way as well? Perhaps he was looking to further his own personal gain by trying to get a position within Oblivion by associating with you, no? Now tell me, were you seduced by this...member?" the Superior asks, trying to keep the simper out of his voice. My body has frozen with hatred. Dredging my past up in front of Zexion, making me seem as nothing more than a cheap whore...that man is intolerable. But at the same time, I can't keep myself from shaking in fear. I see the anger quickly flash through your eyes as well.
"There was nothing of the sort. It was a mutual situation." you say, your chin up and your posture strong. But I don't even want to think about how you must be crumbling inside.
"Well then....I suppose the punishment for such deplorable acts would simply have to be...elimination. An Organization such as mine shall have no liars, no deviants. I wish to be rid of you as soon as possible...and that, I forsee as being quite soon. Seven, prepare the Void" you command that lapdog of yours sitting directly next to me, across from you. You drop your head in shame, hair obscuring your face.
"If you would, you shall proceed to the Room of Removal. It would not be in your best interests to try and attempt any sort of escape method." the Superior states, vanishing in a shroud of darkness. I see you follow suit after a short pause, and I sigh, wince before doing the same.
The travel takes hardly a second, and I find myself in the coldest room I've ever been in. The walls are dark gray, cold and unforgiving. The only thing in the room is a large platform, thirteen gates positioned upon it. Two of them are open, revealing a pitch black void on their interior. Sequentially, they're numbers six and nine.
"Proceed onto the platforms and before your respective gates, if you will." the Superior calls out coldly, invisible in the room. We both follow orders, all we were ever really good for during our time in this Organization, stepping before our respective dooms.
"Remove your coats, you bear no right to wear them at this point--and will have no use for them where you're going."
Flinging the garment off, what symbolized only oppression, really, we stand in the plain black clothes we wear underneath. Another uniform. Another chain. But the black of their fabric pales compared to the black of the void.
"You may proceed into the gates at this time. The Organization may be officially done with the both of you."
I flinch, looking at the looming presence before me. There is no movement, no sound, no breeze nor temperature. It is simply absolute blackness...is that what the rest of my time is to be spent in? I feel warmth, wetness on my face, before I even realize I'm crying. I chance a glimpse in your direction and see you looking straight back into my eyes. Your expression is the same as mine, stripped of composure and filled only with the raw scars of regret, of despair. It's impossible. Neither of us can help it. We fling ourselves at each other, kissing, holding, sobbing, the precious last moments of happiness before we're both struck with unbearable pain, blinded with burning white light, and then darkness, endless, endless....
----
I wake, screaming and hot, sobbing and sweaty. My head darts around, it's dark, it's dark, oh god...light...light? I raise my head from my hands, see your worried face looking at me. Your room. Your bed. The other world. It's never been so wonderful for me to wake up in this space of existence before. I collapse into your arms, you understand at once upon seeing my face, and you start to cry with me. We finally fall asleep, holding each other like we had that night...so long ago...
But this time, there is peace when we wake.
"I don't...Demyx....this can't be the last time..no, no, it can't! I just...I won't let it!" you sputter out, clinging onto me like a child.
"Zexion...you said it yourself, there's no other way..."
"But...but...I hate how those...bastards!...just think they can control everything and everyone....no one ever questions THEIR indulgences! No one scolds them for one damn thing! I just...why Demyx? Why did it have to be us?"
"Perhaps we're just doomed for misery" I say softly. Your teary violet eyes look up to me, more vulnerable than they've ever been before.
"But I love you" you say simply. For once you, with all of your wits and knowledge, can't think of a word for this.
"I love you too" I whisper, tears of my own starting to form as the true magnitude of the situation washes over me. I grab you, pull you closer to me, you tighten the grip of your arms around me. We don't fall asleep for a while, too caught up in the last instance of each other's warmth that you and I will ever know, the last moment of togetherness. The permanent end.
---
Morning comes.
Silence is between us, hair is fixed, sheets are straightened, coats are donned. The door looms ahead of us, the exit to our crumbling sanctuary and the gateway to our end. I reach for the knob, fingers grazing it before you pull me back.
"Demyx, no matter what happens, I will always love you." you say, pulling me to you for what may be the last time. I return your embrace, your head resting on my chest. It barely lasts but a few moments before we both know we have to leave, to attend that fated meeting, to reveal ourselves as what we are, the nature of our hearts, the demise of our souls. Though according to them, we don't have any of the aforementioned things at all. But I know they're lying. Because I can feel your heart right now...and it's pounding erratically. I kiss you one last time, bittersweet love wrapped around agony, and we exit my room for the last time. We walk down the halls together, our coats billowing behind us, even our shadows never daring to touch.
---
"Well then, are there any more pressing matters to be dealt with? Anything between members that requires...attention?"
The Superior lords over the room in his great chair, forcing me to gaze up at him from my lowly position. I catch your eye from across the room, your facial composure breaks for a split second before you turn away from me and address the Superior.
"Seeing as...all relationships between members are forbidden, I have to state a confession--for the upholding of the rules of the Organization." you say, voice never wavering, cool expression never leaving your face.
"Oh?" the Superior says, clearly faking surprise. "Well well, what have you observed, Six?"
"De...number Nine and I rather, have been carrying on a romantic relationship for a significant amount of time now."
"Well, Zexion, I'm sure you know the...punishment for such things. So harsh....but then, Nine can be quite manipulative...I've known him to "associate" with other members of the Organization in the past in such a way as well...always detracting from our greater good. So tell me then, Six, were you taken advantage of in this way as well? Perhaps he was looking to further his own personal gain by trying to get a position within Oblivion by associating with you, no? Now tell me, were you seduced by this...member?" the Superior asks, trying to keep the simper out of his voice. My body has frozen with hatred. Dredging my past up in front of Zexion, making me seem as nothing more than a cheap whore...that man is intolerable. But at the same time, I can't keep myself from shaking in fear. I see the anger quickly flash through your eyes as well.
"There was nothing of the sort. It was a mutual situation." you say, your chin up and your posture strong. But I don't even want to think about how you must be crumbling inside.
"Well then....I suppose the punishment for such deplorable acts would simply have to be...elimination. An Organization such as mine shall have no liars, no deviants. I wish to be rid of you as soon as possible...and that, I forsee as being quite soon. Seven, prepare the Void" you command that lapdog of yours sitting directly next to me, across from you. You drop your head in shame, hair obscuring your face.
"If you would, you shall proceed to the Room of Removal. It would not be in your best interests to try and attempt any sort of escape method." the Superior states, vanishing in a shroud of darkness. I see you follow suit after a short pause, and I sigh, wince before doing the same.
The travel takes hardly a second, and I find myself in the coldest room I've ever been in. The walls are dark gray, cold and unforgiving. The only thing in the room is a large platform, thirteen gates positioned upon it. Two of them are open, revealing a pitch black void on their interior. Sequentially, they're numbers six and nine.
"Proceed onto the platforms and before your respective gates, if you will." the Superior calls out coldly, invisible in the room. We both follow orders, all we were ever really good for during our time in this Organization, stepping before our respective dooms.
"Remove your coats, you bear no right to wear them at this point--and will have no use for them where you're going."
Flinging the garment off, what symbolized only oppression, really, we stand in the plain black clothes we wear underneath. Another uniform. Another chain. But the black of their fabric pales compared to the black of the void.
"You may proceed into the gates at this time. The Organization may be officially done with the both of you."
I flinch, looking at the looming presence before me. There is no movement, no sound, no breeze nor temperature. It is simply absolute blackness...is that what the rest of my time is to be spent in? I feel warmth, wetness on my face, before I even realize I'm crying. I chance a glimpse in your direction and see you looking straight back into my eyes. Your expression is the same as mine, stripped of composure and filled only with the raw scars of regret, of despair. It's impossible. Neither of us can help it. We fling ourselves at each other, kissing, holding, sobbing, the precious last moments of happiness before we're both struck with unbearable pain, blinded with burning white light, and then darkness, endless, endless....
----
I wake, screaming and hot, sobbing and sweaty. My head darts around, it's dark, it's dark, oh god...light...light? I raise my head from my hands, see your worried face looking at me. Your room. Your bed. The other world. It's never been so wonderful for me to wake up in this space of existence before. I collapse into your arms, you understand at once upon seeing my face, and you start to cry with me. We finally fall asleep, holding each other like we had that night...so long ago...
But this time, there is peace when we wake.