Want You Bad
Comatose; Alexis' POV
I can't stand this anymore. They irrate me so much. No, it's more than that. Much more.
They sit there at linch, talking about their "perfect" lives. Perfect boyfriends, perfect familes.
Superficial.
As usual, I'm quiet. Just sit there and "look pretty". The guys, they surround me. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Stare like I'm some tasty piece of meat.
Abruptly I stand up. Walk out of the cafeteria. My so-called "friends" don't even notice I'm gone.
Lucifer isn't here today. Not in his usual place, abuse being hurled in his direction, which he always coldly ignores.
I crave him like a drug.
Just looking isn't enough anymore.
I look, but I can't touch.
Pacing the halls, I wonder what I should do next.
Where do I go from here?
Music.
I can go to music. Take my frustration out by the songs I know so well.
I walk down the much travelled halls, speeding up as I near my tempory sanctury.
Let me escape this curs'd place!
Beautiful sounds reach my ears. At long last, I'm standing outside one of the music rooms.
It's Comatose, Skillet. One of my favourite songs.
Someone one is singing the lyrics...they...they hold meaning.
It's exactly how I feel about Lucifer.
Tears have already formed in my eyes. I must find out who this owner of the wonderful voice is...
I open the door silently and go in.
It's him. Lucifer has his back to me. He restarts the music and resumes singing.
"I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking to you."
He's singing his heart out. Really putting meanig into each and every word he sings.
It's beautifule. He's beautiful.
Every detail. Perfect.
He hasn't seen me yet. I drift closer, to the side so I can see his face. It's full of concentration, his eyes tightly shut. His pale checks glisten.
He's crying.
By now, I am too.
Emotion drenches the air. It's infectiou. I long to hold him, hug him, tell him that everything will be okay.
But it's not.
Nothing is okay.
For as long as I exist without him, by my side, nothing is okay.
At all.
Why can't he feel the same way?
Please! Give me a sign!
At this thought, Lucifer turns and reachs for his bag. He sees me standing there.
Freezes, and puts his bag back down.As if he has something hidden there.
"I...I'm sorry." I stutter "I was just..." There is a mental picture in my head of the door behind me, my escape.
Lucifer looks directly at me, his blue eyes in stark contrast to his dark hair.
"It's fine." His voice sounds as weak and apologetic as mine, though probably from the singing. He half smiles.
I start to head towards the door. He doesn't want me here. But there is something I must know first.
“Was that you singing? Skillet wasn’t it?”
“Yeah it was. I’m not very good but…I try. Yeah it was Skillet. How did you know that?”
'Of course I know Skillet!' I want to cry out 'Who doesn't?!' But I don't.
I stare intently at him, trying to read his flawless features.
"I..I..." I don't know what to tell him. The truth? Or a lie? Keep him believing I'm someone I'm not.
Sighing, I go for the former option.
“I’m not how everyone thinks I am. I’m different. I HATE who everyone thinks I am” Anger fills my chest. I try to contrl it; I don't want to scare him. It bubbles out and tears fall onto my flushed checks.
"I'm sorry...I shouldn't.."I apologize, wiping at the tears that had given me away. "I should go." I get off the table I'd been sitting on, already on my way out.
"Stay." His voice stops me. I look back at him, beautiful blue eyes staring back at me. "Please."
Lucifer...of all people..was asking me to stay? Pleading me? I couldn't believe my luck. I attempt to smile at him, and sit back down.
I search for something to say. A way to make convosation.
Fortunatly, that has never been a problem for me.
"Do...do you know ‘Here I stand’ by Madina Lake?”
He wears a suprised look on his face again. He can't believe I know these bands. He expects me to know bands like "Girls Aloud" and the "Sugababes". I shudder at the very thought of them.
“Yeah I do. You want me to show you?”
I nod, happy that the barrier that was there when I first walked into the room had finally dropped.
The music plays, and Lucifer starts to sing. He hits every note, strikes every beat. His voice fluid, perfect.
Emotion drenches his words again
“My life without you in it; is a life that’s not worth living”
“I wish I was someone else; anyone but me” I join in. He looks suprised once more as my voice soars over his; he was singing the bass note. I'd improvised and sung higher.
"I guess I'd bleed in silence"
Lucifer opens his eyes and grins at me tentetively. This encourages me, feels me with energy and I sing louder, more confidently.
The atmosphere was amazing. It was so...faultless. There was no one else but us.
At that moment, no one else mattered. We were oblivious to everyone else.
“And I wish I was someone else; anyone but me”
The music finishs. I look at him, smiling genuinely; more genuie then I had in a long time. Tears still flow. And not just mine. Eyeliner is smudged under his eye. He wipes it away quickly.
I'm out of breath; the singing had exahusted me. All I could do was stand and grin at him like an idiot.
"Wow. You're amazing."
I'd decided.
It was time to let someone else in on my life, let them know who I am.
I take a deep breath and prepare to tell Lucifer everything.
Well, almost everything.
They sit there at linch, talking about their "perfect" lives. Perfect boyfriends, perfect familes.
Superficial.
As usual, I'm quiet. Just sit there and "look pretty". The guys, they surround me. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Stare like I'm some tasty piece of meat.
Abruptly I stand up. Walk out of the cafeteria. My so-called "friends" don't even notice I'm gone.
Lucifer isn't here today. Not in his usual place, abuse being hurled in his direction, which he always coldly ignores.
I crave him like a drug.
Just looking isn't enough anymore.
I look, but I can't touch.
Pacing the halls, I wonder what I should do next.
Where do I go from here?
Music.
I can go to music. Take my frustration out by the songs I know so well.
I walk down the much travelled halls, speeding up as I near my tempory sanctury.
Let me escape this curs'd place!
Beautiful sounds reach my ears. At long last, I'm standing outside one of the music rooms.
It's Comatose, Skillet. One of my favourite songs.
Someone one is singing the lyrics...they...they hold meaning.
It's exactly how I feel about Lucifer.
Tears have already formed in my eyes. I must find out who this owner of the wonderful voice is...
I open the door silently and go in.
It's him. Lucifer has his back to me. He restarts the music and resumes singing.
"I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking to you."
He's singing his heart out. Really putting meanig into each and every word he sings.
It's beautifule. He's beautiful.
Every detail. Perfect.
He hasn't seen me yet. I drift closer, to the side so I can see his face. It's full of concentration, his eyes tightly shut. His pale checks glisten.
He's crying.
By now, I am too.
Emotion drenches the air. It's infectiou. I long to hold him, hug him, tell him that everything will be okay.
But it's not.
Nothing is okay.
For as long as I exist without him, by my side, nothing is okay.
At all.
Why can't he feel the same way?
Please! Give me a sign!
At this thought, Lucifer turns and reachs for his bag. He sees me standing there.
Freezes, and puts his bag back down.As if he has something hidden there.
"I...I'm sorry." I stutter "I was just..." There is a mental picture in my head of the door behind me, my escape.
Lucifer looks directly at me, his blue eyes in stark contrast to his dark hair.
"It's fine." His voice sounds as weak and apologetic as mine, though probably from the singing. He half smiles.
I start to head towards the door. He doesn't want me here. But there is something I must know first.
“Was that you singing? Skillet wasn’t it?”
“Yeah it was. I’m not very good but…I try. Yeah it was Skillet. How did you know that?”
'Of course I know Skillet!' I want to cry out 'Who doesn't?!' But I don't.
I stare intently at him, trying to read his flawless features.
"I..I..." I don't know what to tell him. The truth? Or a lie? Keep him believing I'm someone I'm not.
Sighing, I go for the former option.
“I’m not how everyone thinks I am. I’m different. I HATE who everyone thinks I am” Anger fills my chest. I try to contrl it; I don't want to scare him. It bubbles out and tears fall onto my flushed checks.
"I'm sorry...I shouldn't.."I apologize, wiping at the tears that had given me away. "I should go." I get off the table I'd been sitting on, already on my way out.
"Stay." His voice stops me. I look back at him, beautiful blue eyes staring back at me. "Please."
Lucifer...of all people..was asking me to stay? Pleading me? I couldn't believe my luck. I attempt to smile at him, and sit back down.
I search for something to say. A way to make convosation.
Fortunatly, that has never been a problem for me.
"Do...do you know ‘Here I stand’ by Madina Lake?”
He wears a suprised look on his face again. He can't believe I know these bands. He expects me to know bands like "Girls Aloud" and the "Sugababes". I shudder at the very thought of them.
“Yeah I do. You want me to show you?”
I nod, happy that the barrier that was there when I first walked into the room had finally dropped.
The music plays, and Lucifer starts to sing. He hits every note, strikes every beat. His voice fluid, perfect.
Emotion drenches his words again
“My life without you in it; is a life that’s not worth living”
“I wish I was someone else; anyone but me” I join in. He looks suprised once more as my voice soars over his; he was singing the bass note. I'd improvised and sung higher.
"I guess I'd bleed in silence"
Lucifer opens his eyes and grins at me tentetively. This encourages me, feels me with energy and I sing louder, more confidently.
The atmosphere was amazing. It was so...faultless. There was no one else but us.
At that moment, no one else mattered. We were oblivious to everyone else.
“And I wish I was someone else; anyone but me”
The music finishs. I look at him, smiling genuinely; more genuie then I had in a long time. Tears still flow. And not just mine. Eyeliner is smudged under his eye. He wipes it away quickly.
I'm out of breath; the singing had exahusted me. All I could do was stand and grin at him like an idiot.
"Wow. You're amazing."
I'd decided.
It was time to let someone else in on my life, let them know who I am.
I take a deep breath and prepare to tell Lucifer everything.
Well, almost everything.
♠ ♠ ♠
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