Dreams in London

Thunder roared, lightening cracked, and the down pour of rain felt like ice pellets on my back as I hurridly ran towards the door of a mansion-like house in London, England.
I was here visiting my cousions. I flew all the way from Nova Scotia, Canada to be here for some Family Gathering. To be honest, I didn't even know I had a family in England up until a year ago, when my mother had told me about my little cousion getting diagnosed with cancer. I knew then that it would be one of my life goals; helping the sick. Plus the fact I've always dreamed of London and it's historic beauty. I'm a bit of a sucker for the accents, too.

"Oh dear, le' me fetch you a dry sweater", my Aunt in law smiled and disappeard around the corner. I was certainly here long enough to know I did not trust this place. Something about it, perhaps a person inside, qwirked my senses of evil. My light brown eyes carefully scanned the surroundings. The house was tinted with a faint darkness, but I passed it off due to the poor weather conditions. "Here you are, m'dear. Come in, make yourself at home." She waved me up the hallway into the kitchen. I had to squint from the sudden burst of bright artificial light. "Well, this is the kitchen. Help yourself. You must be hungry, aye? All that flyin'."

"Not too hungry, thanks, just tired" I yawned and felt my eyelids getting heavier.

"Nonsense!" she exlaimed. "Just hungry is all. I'll fetch you some dinner, what'll it be?"

"What do you got?" I asked. I could tell this was going to be a Hantzel and Gretal kind of thing; she'd feed me until I was plump enough to stick a fork in without my hesitations. She'd then start to cut me alive and there I'd be, sitting there in my own musical world reading poetry in the process of becoming human bacon... What the fuck was I thinking? Thanks to my little 'Human Bacon' process I missed half of the food my Aunt listed. I felt bad, so I just picked the one that sounded appealing. I had no idea what it was but it tasted okay.

After dinner I sat down in the living room with the family. I learned that I used to come here when I was younger, before (and after) my cousions were born. Nice of my mother to tell me this. I nodded and chuckled at the baby pictures displayed in the ratted photo-book as my aunt in-law told me the stories that followed them. As each of the photographs turned into years, I noticed myself getting colder. I was less happy and had dark rings around my eyes. One picture inparticular caught my attention. I tapped my index finger on it and stared for a while, trying to translate the scrambled words in my brain. I looked sickly pale, and unhealthy... This had to be a mistake. I don't remember being sick.
"What's this?" I managed.

"Oh dear," my aunt in-law whispered, "I don't know if I should be the one to tell you that..."

My face curled in confusion. "Tell me what?"

She sighed lightly and sat the book down. She looked at her kids and shooed them away. As soon as their foot steps were unaudible, she turned slightly to face me. "Well", she began, "it all started 13 years ago..."

Again, as I had predicted, Azura was admitted to the hospital early morning. I wanted her to be okay and survive this, but the chances were slim to none. We were all trying not to get too attached to the beautiful 17 year old, though it was hard. 17 years of life and caring for this child is hard to throw away. Azura had a cancer that, of course, was common enough to have a cure, but nothing worked. Just our luck. A lovely 17 year old wasting her life away sitting in a hospital literally on her Death Bed. She should be out partying, shopping with friends, making friends for God's sake! She should be normal. Part of this I blame myself for, but mostly I blame her dead-beat daddy. I'm not one to point fingers, but in this case I must. He's an abusive, wealthy, selfish prick who, I must say, deserves to go to Hell. I've uttered those words to his face a few times, and he be damed to touch me. I slapped him so hard across the face with a spatula it left indents. Tought him a thing or two; hasn't been back since. He knew he wasn't welcomed in my house, that was the whole point of Linda, Azura's mother, sending her to London.
I've protected her for so long from all the evils I could, but one slipped past my fingers. The one night I leave for the grocery, tragedy strikes. I came home to find her curled in a corner. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were cold with fear and revenge, and she was shaking. I knew something went wrong, something horrible, but she refused admittance to the hospital and she refused to tell me if she was raped. Being the guardian, I had to keep my cool... I just didn't know how I'd come along to her mother about this. When the time is right, I guess...

To be honest, it was sheer luck Azura and the baby survived the 8.5 months. The baby, of course, was born pre-mature but healthy as anything. 17 year old Azura weakly reached her hand out to mine. "Aunty Zo..."

"Yes, Auz?" I try to fake a smile to let her know everything will be okay even though hopes are dim.

"Can you take me home? If I'm going to die tonight I'd rather die in a comfortable place" she smiled weakly as if dying was nothing new.

"That's up to the doc." I replied, turning my head towards him.

"Well", he started, "it's something I would not recommend... but if it's what she wants."

I looked down at her and she smiled. I don't blame her for wanting to die in the comfort of her own home--I mean, second home.

When we arrived, there was a fire gently crackling in the living space. It spread it's warmth through out the house, and lightened the mood of death and life. Azura's sickness went on hold for a while as we sipped on tea and laughed at our ridiculous humor. In truth, I was scared for her to sleep, I was in desperate fear she wouldn't wake up alive. I sensed she didn't have much longer to live and it was bothering me. She had a whole life ahead of her, and it's end was here.
"Azura, what are you going to name her?" I questioned.

"Hmm. Alice" she answered, a small grin appearing on her pale face.

"Beautiful name, hon." I smiled gently and sat my cup of tea down on the night stand. I noticed she was being very still and quiet... my fear. Calmy I knelt beside her and held her hand. She was growing colder, and I knew her days were ending. I bit down on my lip to keep myself from crying, but it was no use. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks, silent as a feather, and splattered onto her dying skin. Her eyes were delicately closed, her chest barley rising. I let out a sob into the quiet house. If Chris were here, he could fix this...

"Hey, Babe" a voice whispered behind me.

I didn't take my hand off Azura's, but turned my head to face him. "How'd you..."

"Don't worry about it. Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked

I nodded. She was only 17, and it wasn't fair to end her life so quickly. I let go of her hand and gently placed a kiss on her icey human forehead for the last time...

I stared at my aunt in-law in complete shock. There was no-fucking-way any of this was true, I don't remember any of it... You'd think I'd remember having a kid, correct?
"I find all this very hard to believe, but in way I do believe it" I said quietly. "But how the fuck am I a 17 year old vampire? There's no such thing..."

She looked at me and nodded peacefully. "I understand you, really, but you must believe me. You don't recall anything because you practically started a new life... as an immortal being of course"

Strangely, that made a lot of sense to me and explained a few things, but I wasn't about to believe her just yet... I needed more proof of this whole 'Vampire' thing. "Got any proof? I'll believe every word then"

A smile grew on her face as she stood up and reached for the rectangular oak box. She gently opened it to display the inside of red velvet. The contents of the box were gently wrapped in soft cloth to make sure no damage was done to the proof. Carefully she unwrapped a picture and placed it into the palm of my hand. I stared at it in horror. I wanted to scream, but I knew that wasn't a smart idea. I gulped back my fears and stared harder into the past; the past of a pale, lifeless body laying on a steel morgue table with blades and other surgical instruments surrounding it. I could see my aunt standing off into the distance, almost surrounded by darkness. This woman definitely looked like me, everything from the hair to the facial and body features. I nodded slowly and handed the picture back. She handed me another one, and I was scared to look at it. It wasn't as bad as I thought. The woman was sitting up now, and fully alive. She still looked dead, and had a scar where her heart used to be. Curiously, I stood up and walked towards the small mirror hanging from the living room wall. I lifted up the left side of my shirt and almost fainted. I had the same scar. That's when I noticed it wasn't nessicary for me to hyperventilate, or breathe at all for that matter. I blinked and felt like a complete idiot as I sat down next to my aunt again.

"Believe me now, or do you need more proof?"

"No, no, I've seen enough thanks" I shook my head and leaned back against the coach. "So, why did I have to come back? I don't get that part"

"Your mother thought it was best for you to know the truth instead of living a lie. Shame I had to be the one to tell you, it really should've been Chris." She shrugged.

"Oh. Why did I end up going back there in the first place?" I asked again. I had so many questions that needed answering. I needed to have this big gap that suddenly appeared filled.

"We thought it was best you lived with your mother in your new life. You've been through enough here, and we didn't want those memories to come back." She patted my thigh and smiled.

"Thank you." I bowed my head slightly. "So, what about my daughter? What's her name? Where is she?"

"Well, we're going to be up all night with questions now aren't we?" My aunt smirked. "Don't you worry, your daughter is safe. Would you like to meet her?"

"Of course" I answered. It felt weird to be 17 and have the troubles of parenthood added into the mix. Well, technically, I didn't have any difficulties. My aunt took care of that. It was my turn now. I wonderd if she'd call me mom, or if she knew what I was.

"Alice, sweetie, come in" my aunt called her into the living room. She shyly took a step into the room and avoided eye contact with me. "She's not your cousion, Azura."

I swallowed. I had a hunch it was her; she did look a lot like me. The way her chocolate hair waved down to her shoulders, the natural blush to her thin face, her smile, the way she spoke. The only thing different was her eyes. They were blue as the oceans, while mine were brown. It didn't make me think any less of her. I still loved her dearly, but this time as a daughter and not a cousion. I stood up and extended my arms out to her, she looked at my aunt who nodded with approval, and she ran into me. Her pre-teen arms gripped around my waist. This made me feel whole, like the pieces all ran together. She could now have the proper mother she asked for.
"I'm sorry" I whispered into her head.

"Don't worry mum, you're here now" she smiled happily

Our happy moment was soon ended by the front door violently swinging open. Ironically, a crack of lightning pierced through the sky. Loud foot steps of worker boots were heard clunking against the hardwood flooring, and I felt the house grow colder. I looked down to notice Alice and my aunt had disappeard. I was standing in the living room alone with the clunking getting closer. Quickly I ran into the kitchen, trying to avoid this stranger. I seen the light flicker on in the living room, then the sounds of walking towards the kitchen. I thought fast, and ran out back into the living room... bad idea. The man was sitting on the chair infront of the television. He seemed completely drawn to the news as he sipped on his Whisky. I crouched down behind the chair so he couldn't see my reflection in the television as I quietly tip-toed. Bad vibes came from this man, and not just because everyone fled when he entered the house. I was at the arch-way to the hall when he spotted me.

"Hey" he breathed. I clenched my jaw and forced myself to turn around. I stared at him in spite and anger. His grey-white hair was a mess over his scalp, it appeared as if he hadn't shaved in a while from the grey-white stubble appearing over his thin face. His sweater was red, and had a knitted pattern to it, along with his beige pants that old men wear. I didn't trust anything about him, and the air was certainly ice cold with his presence. "You're beautiful". I didn't say a word to his disgusting comment, I just wanted to find my daughter. His old hand grabbed my wrist as I turned around.

"Hey!" I shouted, thrashing my arm into the air. His grip loosened, and I pulled away. "Fuck you". I knew those words were not safe to say, but my gut feeling told me there was much more than that I should be yelling at him about. I could see hate quickly fill his face and as he started to stand up, I vanished up the stairs.

I reached the top and looked around. Darkness consumed this level, and the only lights were faint from the cracks at the bottom of the children's wooden doors. I had to find Alice and fast. I hadn't got a full tour of the house, but my senses told me Alice's room was the last door on my left. I could feel myself faiding into the darkness of the hallway, I was careful to walk quietly and turn the iron door knob. I peeked my head into the bright room and looked around. "Alice?" I whispered.

"Mum?" she replied, peeking out of the closet. I smiled and quickly walked into her room, shutting the door behind me tightly. I glanced at her baby blue walls, and bunk bed, with a brand new Dell computer sitting on the desk humming away. "Quick" she grabbed my hand and pulled me in the closet. When she closed the door, more darkness consumed us. I looked down at the floor and noticed a small ammount of light creeping through the closet door.

"The light", I whispered, "He'll know we're in here" I wasn't too concerned about my well being, to be honest, only Alice's. I've missed too much in her life already, and this was the least I could do.

"You're right" she nodded and slowly began to open the closet door. Carefully she peeked her head out and gave me the thumbs up as if to say "Okay". I walked out with her, gently gripping her hand, to turn the light off. With a quick flick the only light to fill the room was the artifical light from the desktop computer. We heard foot steps walking up the stairs, and I could feel fear race through Alice's heart. We wasted no time getting back into the closet to hide.
To me, this felt like one big game of Cat and Mouse. This man lived here, and probably knew where everyone was hiding, but I wasn't going to let him win. Everything in me told me to fight him, to let him know who's the real boss. I would infact do that, but when the time is right.
We heard the door open in the next room, and that's when I gripped the iron knob so hard I think it left indents in my dead skin. That would take a while to go away.

"So, who is he?" I whispered quietly as things got smashed around in the next room.

"Well", she started, "you're not going to like this, but that's my dad..."

"No..." I breathed, and bit the bottom of my lip.

"I'm sorry, mum... I mean, technically, he's my grandfather too"

I took a deep inhale of air, in hope it would swallow all this away. Drown it with oxygen, and release it as carbondyoxide. I knew life wasn't that easy, but I could wish. When he opened the door to Alice's room and touched the unturnable knob to her closet, I remeberd everything. It was as if his static surged through the iron handle into the depths of my dead self. There was so much hate and anxiety in this space, it was almost too much for me to take in at once. Memories flew into my mind like pictures, and the past haunted me once again. In this world, my new world, I knew I wasn't alone this time. I had Alice. She was my beating heart, my soul, my air. She was mine, and deserved the life I never gave her. After he left, I took my grip off the knob and looked at my daughter. She looked at me as if she was in pain, and this worried me. I knelt down beside her and stroked her soft face. "You alright?"

"Yeah" she breathed, but flinched.

My poor daughter was sick; I could feel it. I sighed lightly and opened the closet door. I picked her up in my arms and softly placed her on the bottom bunk, pulling the covers over her head, I kissed her forehead good night and crawled in beside her.

The next morning the sun was hiding behind the light grey sky of clouds. I stretched on the spot, and sat up abruptly when I didn't see Alice next to me.

"It's okay, mum, I'm right here" she smiled shyly.

I looked down at floor to see her clothes spread over the floor, and various bags stuffed with items. "What's all this?" I questioned

"I don't want to live here anymore" a frown took over her face, and tears started to form. "He's not home right now, we can leave, we can be safe" she sobbed.

I thought everything through carefully and nodded at the plan. I didn't feel like being here either, and it was only fair I, as a parent, kept my child safe. Even though I was a dead parent, atleast I wasn't a dead-beat one anymore. I had to smirk at that joke, I thought it was a good one. I helped Alice pack her clothing properly, and let her say the last good bye's to this house for a long time. I secretly hoped she would forget everything that went on, or happened to her, on those silent nights when I wasn't there to protect her, but we had to take it one step at a time. Eventually she would grow older and I'd have to watch her die, just as she did me through day old eyes. Unless, of course, she wanted to be immortal... but that was for later discussion.

When we walked outside, the air seemed to lighten and birds chirpped slightly in the distance. I stared around the back road for the taxi. Garbage was a mess on the fenced side of the road and littered with broken construction signs and glass. I took a step closer to Alice, just to make sure no one could get her. "He didn't touch you, did he?" I asked. A breeze rolled through the air before she answered.

"Sometimes" she admitted shyly.

"That sick bastard!" I shouted at the fence and kicked a few rocks on the ground. "Just know that none of that was your fault, okay?"

"Only if you do" she looked up at me, her eyes sparkling with love and hurt. She had a bad case of mixing emotions, just like me.

"Alright" I nodded and pulled her into a motherly hug as the cab pulled up.

Just as the night before, the scenery flashed by us in swirls of emotion and colour. I was doing what my aunt did for me; making sure I left the past behind. Little did they know, the past would end with the man in red...