Serenading Sirens

By Monday, everyone knew. Whatever people had seen that kiss made sure it spread like the wildfire that it was. I, Clarke Holliday, was dating the Alex Gaskarth. And I was rumored to be something great. Somehow, they also knew everything that had been happening between the two of us since the very beginning. The girls, that I of course didn't know, that didn't find this cute found a habit in glaring at me every chance they got.

Alex wasn't affected by any of this. Each day was just like any other, except now he was holding my hand through the halls. Me, on the other hand, couldn't feel more hated. These people hadn't really known me to begin with, but they weren't going to go out of their way to get to that point now.

Yet, I didn't care at all. Of course I had already gone through all those years never talking to any one of them. A few girls hating me all because of whom my boyfriend was was hardly going to penetrate my happy aura. The fact that I got to use the word boyfriend is exactly the reason I just couldn't be upset.

I had gotten exactly what I wanted. So what if that had changed over months. When I gave in, it was clear that I would succeed in making life perfect.

"Wouldn't it suck if...?" Jack asked this question so often that I stopped replying with something witty. He seemed rather fond of it while it was just the two of us in Calculus, so I was even sicker of it. This time, I simply glanced up at him from my notes. "If you and Alex got married and were even more sickeningly sweet than you are now," he continued in the same breath. He rolled his eyes too to make sure I knew how much we had been annoying him.

"Wouldn't it suck if," I began on my own, staring him right in the face, "some psycho killed you in an alleyway? Then we wouldn't get your two cents everyday." I made sure I got my point across with, "Better watch your back" and winked.

The bell rang, giving him little time to cower in his seat. I slammed my book shut on my notebook and all but ran out the door. Alex was already leaning against the row of lockers across from me. I didn't even have to think before my hand was in his and our lips were connected. Jack made a gagging sound as he passed behind us.

Jack was usually the one to walk me to Sociology, just like the first day. But Alex had taken it upon himself to walk with me to every class. I was sure that if I had to use the bathroom, he'd be there so the halls weren't so lonely for me.

"Jack disgusted again?" Alex questioned as we began walking. Heads turned in our direction automatically.

Nodding, I said, "When isn't he? My threatening might force him to give up though."

A chuckle bubbled from Alex's lips and his grip tightened slightly on my hand. "Because you're so scary," he mocked.

I shoved him a bit before we arrived at my classroom. After making sure the coast was clear, I reached up and kissed him again.

"That just doesn't get old," Alex claimed once I was back to my normal height.

I beamed at him. "Good. My plan's working then," I replied. I received a small smile back before I was forced to enter the class.

Of course my mind didn't stray far from Alex the entire two periods I was away from him. If my grades hadn't already been slipping because I had less time to deal with school, I would have been in a ton of trouble. There were times where I couldn't help but wonder if this was how each relationship was. Or was this just because I was in my first relationship? And then there was always the observation that maybe I was just a little too infatuated with Alex.

I would try to deny this fact up and down. Just like I had when I was breaking down to all of them. It was certainly unhealthy though. Surely, I wasn't supposed to be so ecstatic all the time less than a week in. I found myself wanting it to fade, at least a little bit, so that this sudden feeling of everything going way too fast would go away. That's how everything had been lately. Things that should have been happening since the beginning of my teenage years being piled up on me in just a few months. But at the same time, I was perfectly happy with the pace at which things were playing out.

I heaved a big sigh, which had nothing to do with what the teacher was lecturing about. He had paused briefly to look at me, a questioning look on his face. But yet again I was too caught up to notice and he continued, slightly annoyed.

This is what I had been reduced to, apparently. Or I had always been this way. Worrying about everything that lay before me. It had to be just for something to do. No one person could spend their time concerned about this much because it really did bother them. But I knew that it really was a problem to me. I wasn't bored with everything else that was happening. Plainly, I was just a psycho.

When lunch came around, Alex was waiting for me like always. Again I took his hand without a thought. This time though it was because my mind was still teeming with my worries. I was hardly enthusiastic about it, and I missed his attempt to kiss me before we began down the hall.

"Are you all right, Clarke?" Alex asked, stopping us after I had forced us to move forward.

I didn't look him in the eyes. "What's today?" I asked back, ignoring his question. What kind of inquiry was it anyway? Obviously, he knew I wasn't fine or he wouldn't be asking.

He didn't seem put off by my reaction at all. "Thursday," he answered, staring -or trying to anyway- at me intently. He tried several times to meet my eyes, but I wouldn't let him.

Tomorrow would be one week since Halloween. And here I was, a changed person even in that amount of time. I didn't like it at all. I felt that the modification I had made of myself in Alex's bathroom that night had been for the worse.

Alex tried for a final time to make eye contact, even crouching down to my height. I turned my head in all directions to make sure he didn't meet my gaze. "What's wrong, babe?" he tried again.

"Nothing," I lied. Taking his hand again, I pulled us forward. Everyone was already in the cafeteria, so it was a quiet trip. I had never been in such an awkward silence.

So I was acting ridiculous. Wasn't admitting it the first step to recovering from it? Probably not in this case, I thought. A sigh escaped me again before I could stop it. I peeked at Alex to see if he would question it, but he seemed to be caught up with his own thoughts. I had probably hurt him with the way I was acting. Just another thing to put me in a bad mood.

We sat at our usual table, Jack and Rian already being there. The silence between Alex and I seemed to be very prominent, because the two boys stopped eating. They both had a hand half extended to their mouths, a different food on the forks contained in each. Both lowering their hands, they looked at each other for a short moment before looking back at us. I pretended to not notice any of this.

Jack stared at me longest, opening his mouth several times, probably to ask what was going on. "You know, I wasn't serious earlier. I really could care less about your attached at the hip thing," he settled, seeing as how it wasn't hard to see what might be wrong.

I glared at him. This mood wasn't going to let anyone get away. "Well, I was serious about watching your back," I snapped at him. Alex still had a hold of my hand. Quickly, I lost his grip and stomped back out of the cafeteria.

Whatever came over me was still raging when fifth period started. I had been waiting in the classroom since I left the guys. Alex was the last one to cross the threshold, just beating the teacher. He sat silently in the desk next to mine, sneaking looks at me from underneath his bangs in his eyes. I, however, was staring right at him.

Anger bubbled inside me for nothing. It was simply because I had scared myself. All it took for me to overcome it was to look at this boy being so hesitant. My feelings for him exceeded anything I had ever been put through. "I'm sorry," I said clearly, not wanting to sound like I didn't mean it. I touched his hand lightly, which was lying on the desktop. "I let something get to me. I shouldn't have taken it out on you guys," I continued. Though it was his fault for being the only boy ever interested in me, I really couldn't just come out and tell him I was mad at him for it.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief. Now I felt worse, knowing he really had been that upset. "It's okay. I understand," he smiled. I watched his eyes light up before abruptly turning to the front of the class.

________________________________________________

"I need mental help!" I cried. The phone was pressed tightly to my ear as I paced around my room, Hadley on the other end. She had listened to the explanation of my day, and my thoughts of how I was surely insane. "You can't tell me that you ever acted like this. Just agree that I am clinically unstable so that I can check myself into an institution," I begged.

Hadley snorted, and I knew she was rolling her eyes. "Honey, it was your first instinct. He's your first boyfriend, and he's introducing you to all these feelings. I was like that with Bobby Christian. Remember? But I didn't plead to be crazy," she told me, laughing through the end of the explanation.

Groaning, I threw myself on the bed. It squeaked like usual and I rolled over to press my face into the sheets. That was not what I had wanted to hear. It really would have just been easier to be crazy so that I could get out of the situation. "I hate having a boyfriend," I mumbled, the words muffled.

"But you love Alex," Hadley sang.

I shot up. "Don't say that! I really don't need love on my mind at the moment," I squealed.

Hadley let out another peal of laughter. At the very least, it really was making me feel better that she found entertainment in my troubles. I laughed along with her this time. We each caught our breath a few minutes later, letting out small giggles here and there.

"But really," Hadley said after a while, "the only thing you're crazy for is Alex. Don't fret anymore, sweetheart. I gotta go. Love you!" She had hung up before I was able to get two words in.

So my best friend's take on it was that I was just letting my emotions take over. Everything was just normal procedure. Again though, that was only what Hadley thought. It would still take some convincing for me to believe it.

I lay in bed for a while, the phone still setting on my stomach and clenched in my hand. I tried hard to think of this logically. To try to figure out what I was really going through was the toughest thing. Especially since Alex continued to creep into my head. A sigh stopped me from my reverie. Hadley was right, and it took a silent hour to force me to see that.

Lifting the phone back up above me, I dialed a number I had easily memorized. I pressed it to my ear with a little hesitance and listened to the line ring. When the other person finally picked up, I smiled wide. "Hi Alex."