Serenading Sirens

The night sparkled like diamonds with the help of a thousand shards of glass. I didn't remember any other lights after that. I faded in and out easily, but I didn't recall blue or red lights brightening my eyelids. The only thing I remembered of Alex was the reaction set in his face. But after that, my eyes didn't stay open long enough to make out whatever I was looking at.

When I awoke from my dreamless sleep, my nostrils filled with the sterile smell that only covered death and blood. I kept my eyes closed tight, not wanting to see the damage as everything came rushing back. The crash, the reason for the crash, the way my car sounded as the metal crunched together. I cringed at all of it.

This wouldn't have happened if Alex and I hadn't been fighting. And that wouldn't have happened if I didn't let a silly thing like love get away from me like that. I felt like I threw it around like it was nothing. But admitting that wasn't going to get me through this. I lay in a hospital bed with a lumpy pillow under my head and I realized both of them had been right. I had to choose. It was just a matter of which one I could move on without.

And that's when I heard the heavy breathing of a boy. I could easily tell that it definitely wasn't my mom and it wasn't my father either. There was also very little possibility that it was Rian or Zack. Of course it would be Alex or Jack. But it was obvious that it was only one of them; one breathing body equaled one boy I loved.

This was going to make it much easier for me. In theory, at the very least. If it were so hard to choose because I didn't hate one thing about either of them, then this would make one of them have a flaw. Whoever sat in that cold, hard plastic chair next to my bed would be showing that they cared for me more than the other one. It all made sense in my sore head. Why not put it to the test?

The hard part was forcing my eyes open to actually see. Forget about it making everything easier. Did I really want to find out whom I was ending up with? That is, if which ever one it was still wanted me. It took a few minutes -hours would have been better- to collect myself again.

Tick.

Tock.

The time seemed to be staring me in the face. It was like waiting to be shot, staring right into the gaze of the gunslinger. Who would be holding the gun when I opened my eyes? Would they shoot me like this analogy was so clearly hoping, or would they have a change of heart? Lower their arm and throw the gun to the floor?

I really couldn't take it anymore. I threw my eyelids up and peeked to the right. Glazed over brown eyes watched the over acting that played out on the soap opera on the TV. His head was thrown slightly back, making a hard attempt to stay awake just a little longer. His mouth opened and closed a few times in half yawns. His brown and blond hair was a mess, sticking up on one side as if he had slept on it.

Jack looked terrible.

Hell, who knew if I could really be a judge of that in my current state?

I cleared my throat, attracting his attention. "Hey," I whispered, my voice raspy.

Jack smiled widely at me, all sleep gone from his features. "Hey there, sleepyhead," he said softly. He scooted the chair closer and laid his hand on top of mine. "How do you feel?" he questioned.

I shook my head against the pillow. "What happened? How bad am I?" I asked back.

"Do you remember anything?"

I nodded now, wincing from the movement. "Alex and I crashed," I answered automatically. "Where is he?" I frantically asked now, realizing that maybe he was hurt. That maybe that was why he wasn't by my side.

Jack's face fell slightly, but it was enough for me to notice. "He's at home," he informed me, and gave me nothing more on the subject. "You guys didn't crash. Some drunk asshole ran into the front of your side of the car. He wasn't going all that fast, so we can thankfully say that you're not dead," he told me.

"Well, if I were, I'd be undead now. Your own personal zombie," I joked, referring to the fact that we were conversing.

He cracked a small smirk, which was less than I had hoped for. He launched right back into explaining what had happened. "I guess your head was turned, so you missed having a nice purple bump on your forehead. Now it's just hidden by your hair. It was bleeding, so that's why they have such a great hat on you." His poor joke didn't get to either of us. He reached out to touch the dressings lightly, but I pulled his hand back down and held it in my own. "They said the seatbelt bruised your chest, but it helped. Other than that and your heavy sleeping, you have a bunch of other cuts and bruises," he continued without hesitation. His eyes never met mine though.

I sighed heavily, noticing just how sore everything was. It all seemed too surreal. I had never gotten in a car accident, on my own or with anyone else. Thanks to an argument, I landed myself right into the too clean environment of a hospital. And of course the person that argument was with wasn't even here to make sure I was okay. Before I could even think to stop them, tears were slipping from my eyes that I hadn't even noticed I had clenched shut again.

"He brought you here," Jack said suddenly, obviously wanting to comfort me. "Basically hijacked the truck the other guy was driving. The cops weren't happy about it, but he wanted to make sure you were okay. He didn't leave until he was sure." He had taken his hand from mine, and I didn't have to look to know that he'd crossed his arms.

"And how long was that?" I inquired, keeping my voice low so it didn't crack.

The soft rustling of fabric told me he shrugged. "Probably only like ten minutes, to be truthful. He explained what happened and left is what they told me," he replied. The chair's legs squealed against the tile, and my eyes flew open again. Jack stood over me, a frown on his face. "I think I'm gonna go. I insisted that your mom and dad get something to eat, so they're in the cafeteria. I'll go get them." He began to walk away.

I hadn't even thought about how he would perceive my actions. Really, I couldn't act like I wasn't hurt that Alex wasn't here for me. But I really needed to show Jack that I was glad that he was here. "Wait, Jack," I demanded. He stopped, only turning his head back. "Will you lay with me? I hate these places," I told him, hoping he'd come back.

Jack seemed to contemplate it for a minute. Then he turned on his heel and made his way to the bed. Gingerly, I moved aside to make room for him. He slid on, propping one leg just next to mine while leaving the other hanging over the edge. I lifted my head to let him wrap his arm around my shoulders.

"Thank you," I whispered once my head was on his shoulder. I cuddled into him, bumping the cut on my head. I didn't care. For this, it was worth it.

He didn't reply vocally. Just kissed the top of my head where the bandaging didn't cover it and settled in to continue to watch horrible soap operas with me.

________________________________________________

The doctors let me out after another day and a half. That was only due to all the bitching I made a point to do. I didn't see any point in being there any longer among everything that made me feel worse.

During that time, Jack was there for most of it. He appeared to have understood what was going on when I asked him to stay. He was skipping school to be there, but he made me promise not to say anything about it. Rian and Kara came with Zack not long after Jack had lay down with me. Matt visited the next morning, with a call from Hadley interrupting. She complained about how she was just finding out, but how happy she was that I was all right.

But after two and half days of me being conscious, there was no Alex. He didn't come to say we were over, didn't come to sit bedside to see my condition, didn't call or ask anyone how I was. I couldn't help the tears I shed when Jack left the room. If he caught me before I regained composure, I lied and said I moved wrong. He didn't need to know that I was so upset that Alex wasn't there.

For the first time, I was glad my parents had insisted on a guest bedroom. I couldn't sleep in my own. Everything reminded me of before. My entire bed smelled like Alex. So I didn't stay in there, or even step foot on the plush green carpet. The foreign, uncomfortable bed didn't matter to me since I didn't sleep anyway. I couldn't. And this hardly had anything to do with my boy problems.

Every time my eyelids closed longer than a blink, sparkling glass flashed across them. I could hear the screeching of tires that I didn't even remember hearing that night. Alex's frantic face shot in between all of this. I was scared. Scared that my current life was just a dream and I'd wake up back in the driver's seat to be awake for it all. I had never feared something this much before.

Most time was spent lying awake, flipping through channels continuously. I spent long nights crossing my fingers that the Disney Channel would be playing Boy Meets World reruns. The one show I felt had not been tainted by the past six months. When that wasn't on, I was forced to endure something that reminded me of some stupid antic or movie night. During the day, I wandered the empty house like it was a stranger and counted the hours until someone showed up.

There was soft tapping on the door, causing me to jump. I tore my gaze from the TV, looking up at the door of the guest room. After a boring walk around the dining room, I decided it wasn't worth it today and planted myself back in the bed. I hadn't been expecting anyone.

The tapping happened a second time before the door pushed open and Jack's head appeared in the crack. "Here's Jack," he said creepily, giving a good impression.

"I thought you really were a killer," I admitted and breathed a sigh of relief as he came in.

He sat next to me, chuckling. "How are you today?" he asked.

"Not so good now," I replied, eyeing the book bag he had tried to hide on the floor. "I'm assuming that's for me, since I've never before seen that bag."

He nodded grimly. "Yeah, I figured you'd like to graduate with the rest of us. So that's everything you've missed so far. Some of your teachers are very rude, by the way," he added, turning to me.

I giggled, nodding in agreement.

We continued to watch whatever I had turned to before he knocked. I leaned my head against the headboard, mostly ignoring the show. I let my hand slip into Jack's, lacing our fingers. His bent to fit mine immediately. It felt like it had been forever since I'd felt another hand in mine. It wasn't the usual person, but the jolt of affection I received was even better.

"So..." Jack started, intently staring down at our hands now. "What's going on with... us?" he asked, so hesitant it made me nervous.

I took a while to answer, trying to come up with the right words. But they never made an appearance and I had to settle with, "I don't know."

Jack sighed before taking his hand back and began to get up. "I think-"

I promptly cut him off. "You can't just walk away every time I do something you don't like, Jack," I scolded him. I reached out to grab his arm and pulled him back down. "You keep doing this. I don't always have the right words to give you. But right now, I know that Alex and I are probably over," I told him.

"You don't know that," he tried to reassure me.

I shook my head violently, ignoring the pain that shot through my skull. "I could have swerved the car if we hadn't been fighting about you and me," I said. "That's why he's not around. Why he still hasn't come to see me. So we don't have to hide anything. This doesn't have to be so hard anymore because Alex obviously doesn't want me now that I want you, too. And he won't talk about it."

Jack sighed, avoiding my grabbing hand and standing again. "I can't say that your right, but I can't say your wrong about that. Just talk to Alex," he insisted. "And until then, we can't have anything." His actions contradicted his words as he reached across the bed and kissed me softly.

But it was only a couple seconds and he was up again and out the door. I watched him go, wishing he hadn't said any of that. I couldn't talk to Alex, and I was almost certain he wouldn't talk to me.