Sequel: Phrases Left On Paper

Serenading Sirens

My Life For Hire

I kept my head ducked down there, never showing any sign of life. I hoped they would just think that I died there, a sudden heart attack at the age of seventeen. That surely was not the case. I could feel the room filling up with other kids I'd never talked to. Before any of them entered and took a seat, I could feel the presence of someone sitting next to me. It was obvious that it was one of the boys I didn't want it to be. I just hoped that it was Rian, at least. He seemed to be the most civilized, always seeming genuinely interested in what I had to say.

The teacher entered soon enough, announcing that if we weren't supposed to be in Academic English 12 to get out. Then she demanded that I, the only Clarke Holliday that I could think of unfortunately, lift my head. Once I obeyed, my eyes met hers. Mrs. Dawn gave me a warm smile before moving on. However, I had no clue what rules or orders were leaving her lips. I'd already noticed that it was, in fact, not Rian sitting next to me. Alex had joined me in the front row, leaving Rian and Jack in the back to endure the first class alone.

Alex automatically took advantage of my eyes being visible. I stared right into his chocolate colored depths as he spoke to me. "Hi, Clarke!" he exclaimed. It wasn't an excited statement, though. Somehow, that emotion would seem out of place on him. At least, with my name attached to it. "How was your summer?" he questioned, propping his head up on his left hand. With the right, he took the book I had started the day before from its resting place.

I never bothered to answer. My head was back down in seconds. Hoping that today would be a simple passing out of books and going over rules, I didn't lift it again. Not even when I got up to receive my book that we would use only once from a desk in the back. From my peripheral vision, I could see Jack waving at me again. This time, he had his hand moving furiously back and forth. He really wanted my attention. I didn't give it to him as I reluctantly made my way back to my seat. The novel I was reading had been placed back on my desk. A new bookmark had joined mine.

"Do you mind if I borrow it when you're done?" Alex asked as I slid back onto the cold plastic of the chair. "Or maybe I could just read it in this class? When you're busy..." He trailed off, realizing I wasn't going to answer him. Now I only hoped he didn't take my silence as an okay to borrowing it.

I had never been so thankful for a bell in my life as I had been when it went off, indicating the first period of the day was over.

I sprang from my seat, almost losing my balance. It didn't matter to me though as I kept on going. Alex was right behind me though, inquisitive yet again.

"What's your next class?" There was no hesitation in his movements as he swiftly took my schedule held tightly between my books and my chest. I wasn't sure whether to feel invaded of my privacy or pissed that he felt the need to do this. "Calc," he stated, and gave a chuckle. "We all know I'm not smart enough for that. Rian has it fourth. But somehow, Jack-O here got in and you have class together." Alex clapped Jack on the shoulder, who had appeared out of nowhere. "He'll walk you to class."

Jack nodded, a big grin on his face.

Before I knew it, the two of us were left alone. The walk to second period would never seem so long to me.

He left it silent, which I was completely grateful for. But the silence was awkward. Like we both knew a dirty secret about each other that we definitely weren't supposed to.

Once we reached the class, Jack held the door open for me. The small smile on my face seemed to be thanks enough. His addition of m' lady was what really had me smiling with a small giggle escaping my lips. He chuckled along with me. I expected him to sit next to me. When I sat in my seat -the front row, yet again- I turned my head slightly. I knew he hadn't followed me because his presence wasn't there. My eyes found my instincts were right as I saw Jack sitting with one of his other friends, the boy in hysterics because of Jack's obscene gestures. Even though I normally wouldn't have, I couldn't help from giggling myself too before facing forward again.

Unlike what had been predicted in my mind, the class went by rather quickly. I knew it was all because I was able to stay in my own little bubble. The only time Jack interacted with me was at the very end of class, as he waited for me and held the door again. This time I verbally thanked him as we began walking together. He had apparently decided over the summer that he wasn't going to bother me as much. From how it looked, only the times Alex could pop up did he converse with me.

But that might have just been a theory.

"What's next for you?" Jack asked, trying to be sneaky about peeking around us. It only fueled my theory more when I caught him.

I shrugged, pulling my schedule from out of one of my books. It had a permanent resting place hidden, I had decided. Even if Jack was somewhere between Alex and Rian with politeness, I wasn't going to risk it. Alex was more than likely going to pull the same stunt everyday anyway. Looking at the pink, rectangular piece of paper for a few seconds, I finally answered him, "Sociology. So basically, study hall."

Jack nodded, looking around again. Now I wasn't sure if he was being paranoid about Alex appearing or someone else. Then as if just realizing my dry humor, he chuckled. "You're right about that... Soc, I mean. Super easy," he told me. He held his hand out, asking if he could look at my schedule for himself. I handed it to him, not reluctantly like it more than likely would have been with Alex.

Why did I feel the need to be so civil with his friends and not him? Even the fourth one -Zack, if I remembered his name right- had gotten a better treatment from me when I worked with him. Trying to tell myself that it was simply because all of this was his fault hardly worked. That was barely reason in my mind. I would have pondered on it further if I hadn't been with Jack.

"Here's your class," he stated, breaking my thoughts. I hadn't noticed until now that he had grabbed my arm to keep me from passing the door in my thought-filled stupor. "I know how you feel about Alex, and you'd probably prefer not to wander and run into him again."

Scarcely paying attention to his words, I cringed away from his hand. The moment felt awkward to me now. His hand slowly made its way back to rest at his side as we stared at each other. It was only seconds that had passed before I scrambled into the room to avoid any further conflict, but it felt like hours. Not liking these boys but feeling embarrassed about my actions around them had me completely flustered.

I guess for lack of a better term, I was a loner. Talking to people was a task for me, not an enjoyment. It only happened when necessary, and that wasn't often. My best friend, Hadley, understood this, even though she was the brightest social butterfly I had ever encountered. It seldom helped me that she lived three hours away though. The one person that understood me and could probably help me out of this state of mind was only accessible for visiting four times a year, once for every season.

So I was stuck like this, it seemed. The least I could hope for was a life-changing summer so college wouldn't be near as awkward for me. That whole thought led me right back to minutes before. My cheeks filled with color, heating my entire face. I didn't mortify easily, so this would be the first moment I would ever think back on and automatically flush. Again, I thought about how this was Alex's fault. Yet I still knew that that wasn't the reason I didn't like him.

________________________________________________

When lunch finally rolled around, I had calmed down. It was only two periods of an absence from Alex and the others, but it was time enough to clear my mind. I was sure I could get through the rest of the day. But that was only because I forgot they existed. That changed the moment I crossed the threshold of the cafeteria and they seemingly swarmed around me. I wanted to drop my books and run, but that would have been impossible. Rian had my books in seconds and Alex was leading me to a table, already babbling in my ear. Jack kept his distance, obviously not forgetting what had happened. My face was pink in no time.

"So how's your first day going? I think senior year is going to be awesome." My ears finally caught what Alex was saying.

My lips automatically responded, but not in response to him. "I... don't think I feel comfortable with this attention I'm getting from you guys," I affirmed, letting each word roll off my tongue with meaning. I was shocked that I had not only finally talked to him, but that I had said what I did.

But he stayed calm and collected, even cracking a smile. He let me sit down before he began to reply. "I didn't think you would be. Who would I be though if I didn't try?" he asked while pulling a tray full of food in front of him. I hadn't even seen where it came from.

I knew his question was rhetorical, but I had to at least answer myself. "You'd still be Alex Gaskarth, a boy who I don't want to talk to," I mumbled under my breath. I let my eyes travel around the table then, and they locked with Jack's. He was chuckling lightly, trying to hide it. He had heard me.

Rian shoved him, "Shut up, Barakat."

He didn't know why Jack was laughing, so this exchange only made me laugh.

The sound pleased Alex. His grin was the widest I had ever seen it. "I'm making some great progress today, eh?" he admired.

I rolled my eyes, not caring if any of them saw. This was going to be the last time that they got anything out of me. At least... I was going to try to make it that way. It got me nowhere the last time. Finally, I took an apple off the tray that had been offered to me after Alex had picked what he wanted. If I was going to be put through torture during lunch, I figured I should at least take the benefit of free food.

When the bell rang, it wasn't long before I realized someone other than myself had memorized my classes. Alex quickly offered to walk me to Microbiology as I stood. I kept my mouth shut, but walked from the cafeteria with him following. Wishing got me nowhere when it came to him, I grasped, because he was on my heels all the way to my seat. Another class with him.

"You're stalker tendencies aren't going to get you anywhere," I snapped as he took the desk next to mine. Stalking was the best explanation I could come up with. He was trying to give me a heart attack.

Alex laughed it off. "I'm not stalking you, Clarke. Simply pursuing you," he assured me.

His words sent me into the biggest panic of my life.
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