Serenading Sirens

Everyone stared, and it wasn't the normal staring that they had taken a habit of. I scratched my head nervously, making sure the slight wound was well covered with hair. When I was sure it wasn't gushing blood to cause everyone's looks, I pulled my coat tighter around me and crossed my arms and continued to trudge to my locker. Like I knew he wouldn't be, Alex wasn't there to spend time with me before homeroom or to skip his own to sit with me. I huffed, upset, and threw my coat on a metal hook before grabbing my things.

Again, I tried to ignore the thousand people gawking at me. I was closer to screaming out than I really wanted to be. I couldn't hide like it used to be so easy to do. For so long, I was as invisible as I needed and wanted to be. But I had been pulled into the spotlight because of who I became friends with and dated. And that wasn't going to stop now, especially since Alex had been in the car with me. They all knew, and they all talked like I wasn't there.

I didn't want to be here, hadn't planned on coming back so soon. I'd had the weekend to think about Jack's visit though, and it had broken me down. Surely, that was him saying no more visits, and I couldn't go without seeing him like I wasn't seeing Alex. Plus, my parents were surely sick of me occupying the house at all hours of the day. But with how I was being treated, I was seriously considering walking out and never coming back.

I stuck it out through homeroom. The whispers were mostly drowned out by the too loud TV relaying the announcements. Once the bell rang, everything was tugging me toward the front of the school again. Until this point, I had forgotten about English. The one class I had with Rian, Alex, and Jack. I could guarantee on the entire period being awkward, even if I sat on the opposite side of the room. Every other student would make sure of that.

"Clarke!"

The shout made me jump. I turned quickly to see who had yelled at me, expecting to see someone that was angry with me for this whole mess. But I was met with Rian's sweet, familiar face.

He gave me a warm smile before wrapping me in a hug. "I didn't expect to see you back so soon," he said once we were apart.

Rian, the nicest person I would ever encounter. Of course he would be happy to see me in a sea of questioning, angry faces.

I cleared my throat which had gotten thick at the thought. "Yeah, I didn't really plan to come back today. I just..." I trailed off as we continued to our class. I couldn't really tell him why I was here already. As far as I knew, Alex hadn't informed anyone of what was going on behind their backs. And I really didn't think that I had been obvious about any of it.

"It's all right," Rian assured, breaking my thoughts. "I understand." He stopped, waving me through the doorway. "Why don't I sit with you today? Front of the class," he insisted.

I grinned at him and nodded in agreement.

It had been forever since I had sat in the front corner of a classroom. Anytime we were allowed to pick our own seats, I had automatically claimed it without objections from others. But since I had gained friendships, I sat wherever the guys decided to sit. All with the exception of Microbiology. I'd have to sit in the back now, knowing Alex would want nothing to do with me. But for now, it was comfortable to be back to what I knew and to not be alone while doing it.

"So did you read any of Macbeth while you were out?" Rian asked as we sat there waiting for class to begin. He so obviously was hoping I had so I could help him.

"No, I didn't," I answered truthfully. It was hard to hide the smirk that wanted to break through though.

His face fell. "Oh. Well-"

I laughed. "I read it in tenth grade," I informed him. "What do you need help with?" I scooted my desk over so I could thoroughly concentrate on what he was saying. The two boys that I was having so many problems with had just walked through the door. I tried not to dwell on the fact that they had walked in together. I didn't even care about what we were told to do. All I did was spend the class getting Rian ahead with the book just like I was. When class ended, I couldn't have been more relieved.

Rian held back with me, not standing until we were the last two in the room. "Do you want me to sit with you at lunch?" he questioned as he led me out.

I didn't even have to think about it. "No," I shook my head. "The library seems like a good choice for now. But thanks."

He nodded in understanding before stopping me. "Hey, you know that you'll work this out, right? They'll get over this, and you'll be able to move on... with whoever's best for you," he attempted to assure me.

"How-" I tried to ask how he had figured out what was actually going on.

But he cut me off, sticking his hand up. "I pay close attention. Zack and I have been discussing it," he told me with a chuckle.

I gave him a weak smile and a soft snort. "Well, thanks for the pep talk," I said. "Should I expect the same one from Zack later?" I asked as I began walking again.

He kept up slowly, laughing again. "Maybe. I'll see you tomorrow," he called as he turned down an adjacent hallway.

I continued on by myself until I reached Calculus. The doorway appeared more disconcerting to me than the last one had. I knew Jack sat just on the other side, out of my view for now. The last thing I wanted to do was have to sit by myself while he was in the same proximity. Running in the other direction crossed my mind. Skipping was such a good idea. It was all ruined by the teacher calling me in.

"Thanks for finally joining us, Ms. Holliday," Mr. Bender greeted me sarcastically with an evil smirk.

I hid my sneer back to him as I took my seat. Getting my notebook out, I tried hard not to pay attention to the one gaze that was burning a hole in my back. It stood out among all the others. I didn't have to see it to know that it held longing instead of curiosity or anger. My own eyes shut, fighting against the urge to turn and meet those brown eyes. They weren't chocolate, but they were even sweeter.

I wanted Jack to come talk to me. I needed him to explain to me how him and Alex were already fine. He had to kiss me the way I remembered. And of course he did none of this. For the first time I could recall, he took part in doing work. Learning limits was much less exciting to me than to him in a shocking exception. I hated him for making the vow that we couldn't be together right now, because he was all I wanted.

Not able to take it anymore, I gathered my books again and stood. "Can I go to the nurse?" I asked once I was hovering over the teacher's desk.

He peeked up at me before nodding.

I didn't wait for him to sign my hall pass. It would have been stupid anyway since the nurse was not my destination. I didn't even spare a glance at Jack -like he wasn't with me- and I strode out of the room. The halls were empty and quiet, sound barely leaking out from other rooms as lessons continued. I reveled in the silence as I made my way to the library. It was like the rest of high school all over again. I didn't like it.

The smell of the library welcomed me back like a home I had left. I maneuvered my way to the back where an old couch sat with mismatching armchairs. The cushions were flattened from all its past occupants and it held a smell no one could describe. And it was the best thing about this school. I loved lying there with whatever book I happened to be reading. Unfortunately, I hadn't brought anything with me. But I knew that I couldn't spend this time with fiction anyway. I had real problems to think about.

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It was hard to keep track of the bells. But I knew when it was time for fifth period. Several people came back to my hideout, hoping to make lunch even longer with whatever they hadn't finished in hand. I left them with their plans and scooped my bag up. The building was no longer quiet and slightly mysterious. The crowds coming and going were just as big as every other day, and they carried me to the one class I should be avoiding at all costs.

Alex wasn't there yet, so I walked to the back to plop down in a random seat. I watched the door like a hawk. I just waited for him to come in. And when he finally did, I realized I had lost everything I had planned to say. His eyes did a sweep of the room, probably looking for me with word that I was back. He got what he was looking for, his gaze locking with mine. Air caught in my throat, making it difficult to get anything out. He sat before I was able to compose myself, and class began.

This wasn't like the other two classes I had attended. I paid rapt attention, taking notes on the lab we were going to do like I planned on being there for it. The teacher told us to look over the packet and placed herself behind the computer to do whatever she pleased. I knew I wouldn't have much of a chance to talk to Alex now. Once the lessons were done in this class, someone always asked a question that led to a giant debate. It was the controversy class of sciences. It wasn't long before the students were split into who believed in global warming and who didn't.

Mrs. Henderson was sharing her opinion, talking loudly to be heard over the arguing with hopes to stop it. It was all about how we were causing it and that it wouldn't stop until we did something about it. She was dead set on what she thought.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please," I managed to say loud enough that it exceeded the volume of the new outbursts.

"Something you would like to share, Clarke?" she asked thoughtfully, maybe thinking I could shed some light for the opposing team.

I thought about not replying; just hunkering down like I hadn't just been rude. Or even just telling her what she wanted to hear calmly. There was just too much built up in me. "Maybe we caused some of it?" I questioned her rudely. "The earth goes through phases, yeah. I think we've all noticed that. I mean, you are our science teacher. But you're insane if you think that the human race isn't the main responsibility for global warming." I got several shocked gasps for that. My eyes found Alex, just sitting there as he twirled his pencil between his fingers and stared at a piece of paper. I was going to continue on my original rant, but it just wasn't with me anymore.

"And you!" I shouted, standing abruptly. I stomped over to him. "What's your opinion on this, Alex? Do you even have an opinion on anything? Because you certainly don't have one on us anymore!" Staring into his wide brown eyes, I saw my own dark blues reflected in them. They were welling with tears. "Where were you?" I whispered involuntarily. "I was hurt, and you left me because I have feelings for your best friend. I already apologized. But I would have been nowhere without Jack," I recited the harsh truth to him, and with that I was done. I left the room and the school to face work with Zack to tell me that everything would turn out with whoever was best for me.