Serenading Sirens

I didn't last a week. By Friday, I was holding conversations with them for whole periods. At lunch, we talked music and shared food. Nothing had even changed with Zack, but he was pleased that I was making progress with the others. He put it as me changing. I denied it up and down. Me changing was like putting a knife in my stomach and twisting. I just couldn't admit to something that was definitely happening.

Alex was still after me. Me just being friends with the four of them wasn't enough for him. But he didn't push it. I wouldn't even have known if the others didn't tell me. He kept his cool around me. That was the way I liked it. I kept the insisting of the others out of my head and pretended like I knew nothing. In time, I would forget all about it.

So as I walked with him to Micro, my last period of the day, I wasn't expecting him to take my books. I thanked him, and tried hard not to think anything of it. With anyone else, I would have objected to this act of kindness with having his or her own things. But Alex never had anything with him. As with many things about him, I wondered how he got away with this. Like everything else, I was afraid to ask.

He dropped my things on my desk and took his usual seat next to me. Because of my petty fears, the air felt awkward. So I kept my head down to watch my hands rub up and down my covered arms. Trying to get warm in this school was impossible. I was so focused on trying to not pay attention to Alex that I didn't hear him calling my name. I felt him touch my arm lightly, trying to be polite about it.

I spun my head to look at him. "Huh?" I said, it coming out as a whisper.

His eyes were intense, like he was going to say something meaningful. Possibly the most meaningful words of his life. I waited patiently for whatever this may be, my head cocked to one side. "Never mind," he responded after the bell rang. He hung his head then, as if he were ashamed of something.

I could feel my eyebrows pull together in confusion. I didn't voice my thoughts though. Letting him go was the best thing I could think to do.

He didn't talk to me again through the period. It was very unlike Alex to not talk, and lately, especially not to me. Normally, it would have been something else I thought nothing of. But my mind liked to be filled with these four boys.

I wondered what could possibly be wrong with him. Would he say what he needed to eventually? Once he got time to think it over more and perfect it? Who was whatever it was about? Him, Jack, Rian, me? I shook my head to rid it of the thoughts. That's where I had to stop. Once I was thrown into the equation with him I shuddered.

"Bye, Alex," I called as we walked out the door at the end of class. He was way behind me, slowly sulking towards the door. I waved and smiled before running off to my locker.

I guess I had to admit that I had made a big change in the last few days. Or maybe it all started last year, when all of this did. But I couldn't help but frown at how I knew Zack would be pleased by me admitting this. I definitely wasn't going to tell him.

It was hard to believe that the four boys that I had tried my best to avoid for so long were now considered my friends. It was such a huge jump. And the weirdest part was that I didn't hate it. It was quite the opposite. I loved having people to talk to in school. I'd had no idea it could be so thrilling.

Emptying my head of those thoughts, I exited my car and made my way to the front door of the bowling alley. Zack was waiting there, a habit he'd grown to like in the past week. As soon as I was close, he linked his arm with mine. This was something else he had grown accustomed to. I had adapted to not pushing him off or cringing at the touch.

Four days. This is all it took.

Work went fast, but I knew it was only because I had to go back to work the late shift. I wasn't going to be alone. Zack had to be trained for the amount of business we would get, getting paid under the table just like me. Also, Jack had promised early in the day that they would come to keep us company. The way he had put it though was "to annoy us." I kept my mouth shut when I went to say that they didn't annoy me anymore.

Skipping dinner, I went straight to my room to take my usual Friday nap. Sometimes I would spend some of this time talking to Hadley. But neither of us had made an attempt to get a hold of one another since Monday night. She was surely still angry with me for ignoring her and I just didn't have the time. I figured she was waiting for an apology anyway, and I couldn't apologize for nothing.

So this time around, I lay in my bed and waited for my three hours of sleep to come. It would have been a lot easier and faster to achieve if it was possible to shut a brain down. I wasn't feeling guilty -maybe like I should have been- about Hadley. I wasn't even worrying about waking back up in time for work. Somehow I was brought back to when Alex stopped himself from saying whatever was clearly so important. I told myself to not think of it because if it just happened to be about me, then it simply wasn't important. Now I felt like I needed to know what he was going to say. Just some more sleep lost.

I stood from my bed again after an hour or so, knowing that it was useless. I got ready early, spending extra long in the shower and making myself up. For a while, I stared at myself in the mirror. It was cliché, I knew, but I memorized every part of my face. My pale skin glowed the tiniest bit in the light. A glow would never be possible as permanent. My dyed black hair was growing out ever so slightly, the usual dark brown barely peeking out. I would have to make time to dye it again before it got too far. Puckering my lips, I traced the uneven outline with my fingertips. I decided that I hated them most of all as my dark blue eyes stared at them.

I pushed away from the counter in the bathroom and stalked back to my room. The bed squeaked as I threw myself on it and sighed. Damn boys. Damn Alex. I was not beautiful. I never wanted to hear it again. Hell, I hadn't wanted to hear it in the first place. I had managed to forget about that humiliation until now. If never looking at myself again was what it took to never have it brought up again, I would definitely do it.

"Clarke!" my mom called from downstairs. She was surely standing on the bottom step. "You're going to be late for work if you don't wake up!" she reminded.

Obviously, she was deaf if she didn't hear me stomping around.

"I'm awake!" I huffed back. She was going to have to deal with my moodiness if no one else was around.

I stood up once more to make my way downstairs. Bidding goodbye to my parents, I was out the door earlier than I should have been. Once I was in the parking lot, all I could think to do was sit in the car with music blasting. I leaned back in my seat, closing my eyes and letting Something Corporate calm me down. Something about Andrew McMahon's voice had a knack for keeping my mood in check. It did the best job it could until I was interrupted.

There was a sharp tapping on my window that sounded very businesslike. My head snapped in that direction, fear overwhelming me. It was irrational since I had no reason to be in trouble sitting there in the evening. I settled myself when I saw the brown and blond hair topping off the brown eyes of Jack. He smiled pleasantly when I finally looked at him. He spoke, but the window and the stereo drowned his words out.

Simultaneously, I hit the button for each of them. "What?" I asked.

Instead of replying, Jack ran to the other side of the car. He slid into the passenger seat easily. "You can't have him!" he exclaimed once he was comfortable enough.

My eyebrows pulled together, confusion coloring my face. I didn't have to ask what he was talking about.

"Andrew McMahon," he explained shortly. "We're getting married. Stay out of it."

The laughter that escaped from me couldn't have been contained if I had bothered to try. I slapped my hand over my mouth to muffle it slightly. It still poured out without any hesitation. Jack was happy to join my hysterics, his head thrown back as his own chortlings continued.

Out of the corner of my left eye, I could see someone standing at my window. It was surely one of the others, so I didn't worry about it. My main priority was wiping at the tears that had sprung to both of my eyes due to laughing so hard. The statement itself had only been part of the hilarity. What really caused my amusement was the way he did it. Jack would more than likely become the one to make me laugh on cue.

Suddenly, he was done. I tried to compose myself enough to not look like an idiot, but it was useless.

"No, I'm serious," he stated, the most stern face I had ever seen taking over his features. It had me laughing even harder.

Once I was finally done -everything put back in order- I looked to my left to see who had been watching. Rian was leaning against the back door on my side, holding a conversation with Zack who stood across from him. I only paid attention to them for a few seconds because Alex was right there, crouching down so he could rest his arms on the open window with his chin on them. It frightened me a little at how close he was.

A smile stretched across his face when I caught his eye. "Hi, Clarke," he greeted. "Having a nice laugh with Jack?"

I involuntarily snorted again, and then covered both my nose and mouth. I nodded. "He's quite the comedian," I admitted when I was placated enough.

Alex nodded in agreement before standing. I imagined that his legs burned from crouching through all of that, but he showed no sign of pain. He opened my door for me, waiting patiently as I put the window up and turned the car off. Rian and Zack each acknowledged me with a smile and nod before they headed toward the building, Jack already leading the way. He looked back to make sure that I wasn't left alone and smiled at me when he saw Alex was still there. As Alex shut the door for me, I smiled back at his friend.

"Shall we?" Alex asked when I turned back to him. He reached his arm out, hoping that I wouldn't deny linking my own with it again. I didn't let him down.

This was different than when Zack and I made our way to the back room. The beating of my heart accelerated a little, pumping the blood that colored my cheeks. Thankfully, Alex was focused on keeping up with his friends and didn't see me flush. This would have given him the wrong impression. I had nothing to counteract with it either, so it would have fueled his reaction even more.

There was no reason for me to be nervous. I didn't understand any bit of it. Alex was just Alex, the same boy he'd always been. Well, that didn't make any sense. He had been the same boy all week to me now that I was actually talking to him. Nothing at all had changed.

I tried to focus on other things. His mood seemed to be enough to distract me. It had changed perceptibly since I'd last seen him. He was whistling, which seemed odd, but it reassured me that he was over his sulking. Too bad I didn't know why he had been upset in the first place.

"Shouldn't you go put your things away?" Alex questioned.

I blinked, focusing on reality. I hadn't realized that we were now inside. I separated from him, taking a step away from him but turning in his direction.

"Are you guys gonna play?" I questioned, inching away with each word. It made me feel better to do so.

He ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair. "Yeah, I think. But not until later," he answered. It seemed as if he were frustrated again. That only made me a little more frustrated.

"It's on the house. Everything. Help yourself," I told him, gesturing toward the bar that held nothing but soft drinks and junk food. But I was already hurrying to the back room to get away from him.