Consider This

Chapter 13

KEVIN'S POV

Danielle and I silently walked upstairs my room where we had previously looked through photo albums.

“Kevin,” Danielle spoke first, “Is everything ok?”

I could tell she was confused and worried. I motioned for her to sit down, not sure of how to answer her question.

“Danielle,” I started, “You know all about Olivia and her past, right?”

“I know she’s from a mob family,” Danielle answered, “And I know you spared me details, so I wouldn’t be scared but I do know all about the shoot out, and Joe and Olivia being on the run.”

“Well yeah good,” I said.

I knew I wasn’t making any sense, but it was hard to concentrate. I felt like throwing up just thinking about what I was about to do.

“Kevin I don’t understand,” Danielle went on, “Why does any of this matter now? I thought you guys got the mob out of your family. And Olivia hates it so I know she didn’t go back.”

“It’s Melissa!” I blurted, unable to hold it in.

“Melissa?”

“Yes,” I said, “She went to Olivia and begged her to join the Messina ’s. Apparently the whole time Melissa has been dating Nick she was in the mob.”

“Oh- oh my gosh,” Danielle said quietly, dropping down onto the couch.

I could tell by the look on her face that she was completely shocked.

“This is terrible!” she exclaimed, still quietly, “Poor Nick. Does he know?”

“Well yeah,” I said wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans, “He doesn’t know who to believe.”

”What do you mean?” Danielle asked, getting angry, “Does someone not believe Olivia!?”

”Ok,” I said deciding I should explain everything before moving on, “First, Olivia told Joe about Melissa being in the mob. He didn’t believe her and that’s why they’re barely talking right now. Then she told me, I believed her and I told Nick. Now Nick’s trying to decide who to believe.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Danielle exclaimed, “First of all, how could Joe not believe Olivia? And second, how have we all believe Melissa this whole time? She seemed so nice and cool! And I shared my clothes with that...that...stupid jerk!”

I would’ve smiled at her comments, if I didn’t feel sick to my stomach.

“I know it’s terrible, but you’re missing the point,” I forced myself to say.

“What?” she asked.

“The mob,” I stated, “It’s still in my family.”

“Not once Nick gets rid of Melissa,” she countered.

“I wish it was that easy,” I replied, running my hands through my hair.

“Why can’t it be?”

“Because,” I explained, “Even if Melissa isn’t dating Nick she still knows everything about our family. There has to be a reason that the Messina ’s planted her here in the first place. Something mob related is going to happen to us. Something life threatening and terrible.

I broke off, not wanting to go on. Maybe this didn’t need to happen, I thought, maybe I could protect her.

But as I thought that, the picture of Danielle being killed while walking down the aisle appeared in my mind.

I love her so much, this had to happen.

“Danielle,” I said already choking up, “I don’t want you to be here when that happens.”

“Wh-what?” she asked quietly, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Confusion was evident on her face.

“Danielle,” I pleaded, “You have to understand. The mob is in my family now. I don’t know how long it’s gonna take us to completely free our household from the mob. But until then, we’re all in danger. Anything could happen at any time.”

“I understand that,” Danielle explained, “I’m not scared.”

“Well I am,” I admitted, “I’m scared to death. I was at the shoot out last year and I saw and heard the terrible things people in the mob do. I saw Joe break down as the girl he loves was tied to a chair with 50 guns pointed at her. Danielle, if that was you I couldn’t bear it. I can never let that be you.”

“But it won’t be me,” Danielle told me, “I have nothing to do with the mob.”

“But you will,” I told her, “As soon as you marry me.”

I saw a wave of understanding pass through Danielle. She stood up slowly, so I did too.

“Kevin,” she demanded quietly, “Don’t go on.”

“Danielle,” I said again, “It won’t be permanent. I love you. I love you so so much. That’s why I have to do this. It might not make sense to you now, but it will. We don’t have to completely end things but we.....we can’t get married.”

“We can’t get married,” Danielle repeated, “You love me, but we can’t get married?”

“Yes,” I answered, willing her to understand, “I need to protect you. I keep having a dream about you being taken from me on our wedding day. Danielle, I love you too much to let that happen.”

“Shut up,” Danielle demanded fiercely.

Her words felt like a slap to the face and I could practically feel the anger radiating off of her.

“Don’t you dare say that to me,” she went on, “If you loved me, you wouldn’t be breaking up with me!”

“I don’t want to be,” I assured her, “This is killing me, you have to know that!”

”Do I Kevin? Because to me it just sounds like a lame excuse!” Danielle yelled, “The perfect answer to your commitment issue!”

“That’s not true,” I said weakly, “Danielle there are two things I want in this world. For us to get married, and for you to be safe. But right now I can’t have both of those.”

“I do not want to hear it,” Danielle told me, tears rolling rapidly down her cheeks, “But I will give you some advice. Next time you ask someone to marry you, make sure it’s want you want before you break her heart.”

Anger washed over me suddenly. Was she really saying that I wanted this? Did she honestly think this was an excuse to break up with her!?

“Don’t you dare try to make yourself seem like a hero,” Danielle went on angrily, “At least own up to being a coward!”

For some odd reason I could feel relief take over my anger. Relief that Danielle was going to leave. Not for the reasons she thought, but because she would now be safe and away from the mob.

“Danielle,” I said, “I don’t care if you hate you. At least you’ll be safe.”

“Keep that bullshit to yourself,” Danielle said furiously, “And keep this too!”

I watched her pull my engagement ring off her finger and whip it at the ground.

”Congratulations Kevin Jonas,” she sneered, “You’ve successfully broken my heart in two.”

She shot me one more death glare before running out of the room.

Every time her last words echoed through my mind I felt another piece of my heart shatter.

After her words repeated 100 times, I felt nothing.

I had heard Danielle’s car pull out of my driveway just three minutes ago and I already felt numb.

It had felt pointless to move, so I hadn’t. My throat hurt from the continuous lumps forming there. So I finally let the tears well in my eyes, and then pour down my cheeks.

This had seemed like a perfect plan an hour ago, but now it just felt like biggest mistake I had ever made.

I could hear footsteps in the hallway. Someone was coming to find me. I was surprised it took this long, Danielle had been screaming pretty loud.

Joe hurried into the room, but stopped abruptly when he saw me.

“Nick!” Joe called, still staring at me, “I found him.”

Joe moved slowly into the room but I made no move to wipe the tears off my face.

“Kevin,” Joe said quietly, “If you want me to leave I will.”

For a second I considered asking my brother to leave. I considered locking myself in my room and crying to myself.

However, as Nick hurried in and stopped just as Joe had, I realized my brothers just wanted to help.

“No,” I said, “Come in. Both of you.”

“Kevin we’re not here to make you tell us what happened,” Nick assured me.

“If you need to talk about it you can,” Joe agreed, “But we’re really just here to talk.”

I finally moved from the spot I was standing and back over to the couch.

“It’s ok guys,” I said emotionlessly, “I feel like we haven’t talked in forever.”

“We haven’t,” Joe agreed quickly, “And we need to. I mean about everything the three of us have been doing lately.”

“I’ll start,” Nick stepped up, “First of all, Joe you need to know something. I found out about Olivia’s theory about Melissa.”

”Look, I told Olivia it didn’t make sense,” Joe started.

“You really don’t believe her?” Nick replied.

“No, do you?”

“I don’t know,” Nick hesitated, “I mean Melissa has been getting weird phone calls. And why would Olivia make up a whole story, especially if it’s ruining your relationship. And then again Melissa...I love her. But she’s so strong! Ugh! I just....I don’t know what to believe. If there were some proof.... I don't know who to believe.”

“I believe Olivia,” I commented, “I can see how much she believes what she’s saying.”

“She’s my girlfriend,” Joe reminded us, “Don’t try to say I can’t read her!”

I was surprised by Joe’s sudden outburst. I concluded that he was touchy about anything related to Olivia right now.

“Why don’t you believe her?” Nick questioned, “It’s not like you.”

“I don’t know,” Joe told us honestly, “I want to believe her. I want everything to be ok between us. But believing her would mean –”

Joe cut off and stared down at his feet.

“That your life’s not perfect?” Nick finished for him, “That the mob is still with us?”

“Yeah,” Joe agreed looking at Nick, “Exactly. I just can’t accept that everything’s not perfect.”

“I understand man,” Nick went on, “But hoping for everything to be perfect is not going to change anything.”

“Which brings the conversation to me,” I interjected, “I had the perfect plan, the prefect way to keep Danielle safe and – ”

I broke off and stared down at the ground, just as Joe had. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the shimmers form the broken engagement ring, which still lay on the floor. Tears were rolling down my face again before I realized how much pain I was in.

“I broke up with her,” I choked out, “I did it to keep her away from the mob. I knew it would protect her from physical pain, but I didn’t think about emotions. Now she hates me.”

“Kevin, we got rid of the mob once,” Nick told me, “We can do it again.”

“No,” I countered, growing angry, “We never did get rid of the mob!”

“If we find proof that Melissa’s in the mob,” Nick went on, “She’ll be gone.”

“But what about Olivia?” I asked.

I saw Joe’s head whip up and he stared at me.

“What about her?” he asked.

“She was our first connection to the mob,” I explained, “She’s the reason we’re in danger in the first place!”

”Don’t you dare,” Joe said darkly, “I know you’re in pain, but don’t even think about blaming this on Olivia.”

“It’s not just Olivia,” I went on, “It’s you too Joe! You’re the one that just had to flirt with her. You had to have that girl because she said no to you, and now look what you’ve done! She's living in our house!”

Joe jumped up and I could see him fuming.

“That has nothing to do with what’s going on now,” Joe said, “So stop talking before you say something you’ll regret.”

“Guys,” Nick said loudly, “Stop. We’re all upset right now. We’re all hurt and confused and having girlfriend problems. Let’s not take it out on each other.”

“That’s not it Nick,” I went on, unable to hold it in, “Joe and Olivia are the reason all of this happened!”

I was screaming now in a way I have never yelled at Joe before.

“You ruined my life Joe! You and Olivia!”

I waited for the regret to come, but it didn’t. Instead I just felt wave after wave of anger.

“Do not blame this on Olivia again!” Joe yelled back.

“Why do you care Joe?!” I shot at him, “You’re so touchy about a girlfriend you don’t even trust!”

“Yeah well,” Joe said calmly, “At least I didn’t completely shatter my girlfriend’s heart.”

Joe shook his head at me before walking out of the room.

“Nick – ” I started.

“I’m on no one’s side,” Nick told me, “This whole situation is out of control.”

And within 30 seconds I was alone again with more reasons to cry than ever.