Painful Lullaby

"Roxie! What's wrong?" Jag jumped up from the couch and ran over to me.

"Let's go into the dining room," I whispered, trying to hide the pregnancy test behind me while we walked. Jag sat down and I sat across from him, just like we'd done the day we met.

"Tell me what happened. Did you and Zoe get into a fight?" Jag looked concerned as he took one of my hands in his.

"No, no. It's nothing like that," I replied. I took a deep breath and handed him the pregnancy test that I'd been holding under the table. As Jag looked at it my vision was disrupted by black spots. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. Jag looked from the test to me, then back down at the test.

"What's this?" He asked.

"A pregnancy test."

"And the plus sign...?"

"I'm pregnant." Those few words sent me into another frenzy of tears. I started sobbing, and Jag looked at me with frightened eyes. He got up out of his chair, probably going to leave. Which is why is surprised me when I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me into his chest. I didn't hug back, I just cried into his chest.

"Roxie, listen to me," Jag said, pulling me away from him and holding me at arms length, "Listen to me!"

I sniffled, trying to regain myself. I looked into his eyes.

"We have choices," Jag whispered, "There's abortion and we can raise it, or we can always put it up for adoption."

"Not abortion!" I gasped. I wasn't going to kill this child before it had a chance to live.

"Well you know I'll be here for you Roxie. I love you." He said he loved me.

"No you don't, you're just saying that because I'm pregnant! You're just trying to make me feel better," I wailed, covering my face with my hands.

"No, Roxie. I love you, and I have loved you. I promise you, I'm not going to back out on you. This baby is both of ours, it's both of our responsibility."

"W-wait. It might not be yours!" I realized.

"Oh, shit. I forgot!" Jag muttered. He covered his mouth with his hand and looked down at the table. I started crying harder. What was I going to do? If I had my rapist's kid...

"We need to go to the doctor," Jag said, standing up. I heard the sound of keys rattling together and then Jag was by my side, helping me up. He led me to the car, being careful as he guided me into it. He was treating me like I was a porcelain doll, any move too harsh and I could break. I guess I could break if he was harsh with me.

I could hear the driver's side door open, then close. I rested my head on the window, begging for sleep to take me.

__________

"Roxie, you need to get up," Jag murmured, shaking me gently. I shot up immediately, remembering why we were in a parking lot and what our purpose was there.

Jag took my hand as we walked into the small clinic, keeping me relatively calm. I tried not to think what they were going to do to me. We opened the doors to show that there was nobody in the waiting room. I sat down in the waiting room as Jag got us an appointment. I closed my sore eyes and leaned my head back on the chair. I tried to take deep, steadying breaths, but it didn't quite help.

"Miss Fischer, Mister Jaggerson, you can follow me," a nurse said, motioning for us to follow her.

__________

The test wasn't as bad as I thought. They made me pee in a cup, and then I fell asleep. I woke up to the nurse telling Jag that it would take about three days or less to get the results depending on how busy they were. Jag and I left, me still feeling like shit.