Painful Lullaby

_____Time Lapse: 2 Weeks_____

Three days after we took the DNA test we got our results, Jag was the father. I was happy, by I had been hoping that it was all just a dream. Of course it wasn't, though. I hadn't told any of my friends yet. Well, other than Zoe, but I didn't actually tell her. Jag had been extremely careful around me nowadays, and it was getting on my nerves. Maybe it was my raging hormones, but it pissed me off. I'm not that breakable.

"Roxie, are you ready to go?" Jag knocked on the door of the bathroom. We were going out shopping. There wasn't much food left, and I was running out of eyeliner.

"Yep," I answered, swinging the door open. The relationship between Jag and I hadn't altered much. We still kissed, and he still claimed that he loved me. I know it might make me sound like a bitch, but I didn't believe it. My mental mother had become present lately, bitching at me that I'd forgotten about her.

Jag followed me down the stairs, then into his car. We didn't talk for the entire car ride. I guess our relationship had changed just a little bit.

"Roxie, I've been wondering," Jag started as he looked at me, "Do you regret what we did at Veronica's?"

"No!" I answered honestly. I was surprised that he'd even think that I would regret it. I could've shoved him off of me and called him a creep if I really wanted to.

"Alright. I was just wondering why you're so quiet these days," Jag murmured, his voice concerned.

"There's just a lot going on. Put yourself in my position. It's not very easy," I whispered.

"I know it's not easy, but reserving yourself isn't making anything easier. For me or for you." Jag pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot.

"I know. But...but..." I trailed off.

If you tell him you can hear me he's going to think that you're insane. You know I'm right, and I know I'm right.

Shut up! Jag will understand!

Quit lying to yourself you little slut. He will not, and you know it. He'll just think you're feeling regret over being such a little whore. You know he's thinking it.

"Roxie? But what?" Jag asked.

"I can't remember."

"See, this is the aversion that I've been talking about! You look like you're fighting with yourself, and then you won't tell me what's wrong!" Jag smacked the steering wheel.

"If I tell you, you're just going to think I'm insane!" I yelled back. He looked at me, bewildered.

See, I told you that I was right.

"R...Roxie..."

"Let's just go shopping, okay?" I asked, trying to focus on something that wouldn't make me cry.

"O-okay." Jag got out of the car, shaking his head. I followed him, walking next to him. Jag wouldn't take my hand, he shoved them in his pockets. That was something he never did. I suddenly felt like crying all over again. I was right, he didn't love me. He was just saying it because I was pregnant.

He's just using you. Once you start to show he's going to throw you out like old garbage once you start to show.

I smacked myself in the head, trying to clear the thoughts away. It worked for the time being.

"Roxie, I think we need to talk," Jag said.