Painful Lullaby

Eva rolled over on her bed to look at me. We were both soaked with the rain that had started while we were riding back to her house. I was awkwardly sitting on a chair, not knowing what to do. I mean, I didn't know if it was rude to sit on someone's bed while you're soaking wet, even if they're sprawled out on it. We didn't say anything, she just looked at me. Suddenly, she stood up and walked over to me. Eva wiped the wet hair from my face.

"You look like you could use a shower," Eva pointed out as she examined my face. I nodded, not taking my eyes off of her.

"Well then, grab some stuff and follow me!" She jumped up, pulling me with her. I grabbed my pajamas, iPod, iHome, and hair straightener and followed Eva into the bathroom. I assumed that this was hers because it was filled with girl things, such as hair products and makeup.

"Thanks for...taking me in, I guess," I blushed.

"Oh, it's no problem. I mean, it's not like my parent's really care. They're just glad that I finally made a friend!" Eva looked excited, which is when I remembered what she'd said earlier.

"Is your dad really a cop?" I asked. I couldn't help but wonder if I'd already met Eva's dad. And if he'd remember me.

"No, he's a teacher slash farmer," Eva giggled. I giggled with her. She eased my heart a little bit, making it easier for me to cope.

__________

I stepped out of the bathroom and hurried into Eva's room. The house was chilly and I was only wearing shorts and a tank top. I cautiously knocked on the door, then opened it. Eva was already out of the shower that she said she was taking in her parent's bathroom. I closed the door, then shoved my stuff in my backpack.

"Did you have a nice shower?" Eva asked me. It startled me.

"Y-yeah. Did you?"

"Yes ma'am. Come sit," she said, patting the bed. I walked over to her, but not before I grabbed my big Twilight hoodie. Yes, I went through the same Twilight obsession that most other girls went through. Naturally, I had something to show for it. I sat down next to Eva. She looked at me, suddenly serious. She leaned forward, her lips brushing mine. I yanked myself away from her.

"E-Eva!" I gasped. She stared at me wide eyed.

"I'm sorry!" She said, looking frightened. Then, suddenly, her expression changed. Before I knew what was going on, she slapped me across the face. Hard. I could feel my eyes stinging with tears.

"I'm sorry, Eva," I mumbled. She pulled me to her, hugging me.

"Your payment for staying here is a kiss. Just one kiss, that's all I ask," Eva murmured into my hair. I nodded numbly. I didn't know what else to do. So I leaned up and pressed my lips to hers. She kissed back, forcing her tongue into my mouth. I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks as I kissed her. It felt like forever until she pulled away. After she did, I climbed off of the bed and shakily walked to the chair that I'd sat down.

I pulled my legs to my chest and cried into my knees. I felt dirty. But I was the one who kissed her...

You fucking slut.

I knew she was right. As much as I hated to admit it, Jag was in the back of my mind at all times. Sure, Eva was nice at first, but why did she slap me? I know that I didn't want to kiss her, not yet. So then why had she done it?

I started crying harder, but I didn't have the will to leave this place. Eva was the one who took me in when I needed it the most, and for some reason, I thought that justified the fact that she'd slapped me.

You fucking whore.

But was this whole mess really worth fighting for? I mean, sure, we'd gotten into an argument, but it seems quite silly now that you think about it. I wanted to go an apologize. Even if it was to just apologize about this summer and how I was sure I'd fucked it up for him.

As I thought this, I realized that in a sense, Jag really was worth fighting for. Just not in the same reason that we were actually fighting.