Painful Lullaby

_____Time Lapse: July 4th_____

Today's Independence Day, it was going to be awesome. Broken Heart Remedy was playing at a local Battle of the Bands, so we were all going to that. I was about a month into my pregnancy, and this morning I woke up to the urge to barf my heart out. Jag held my hair back as I leaned over the toilet. It was very embarrassing. He just murmured consoling words and patted my back.

Jag was practicing his voice all day, and eventually we left to pick up Kori, Bryce, Zoe, and Adam. Donny and Veronica were going separately. Just the thought made me giggle. I wondered what was up with them.

__________

We pulled into the parking lot and all filed out of Jag's car. Veronica and Donny were both standing by his car, Veronica staring at Donny as he smoked a cigarette. Zoe ran up and hugged Veronica, who didn't hug back. She never did, we can't figure out why. I guess she just hates hugs.

"Hey, Zoe!" Someone called. I turned to see Steven. He always had some form of alcohol or drugs on him, and I assume tonight wasn't going to be different. If anything, he was probably going to have more.

"Steven!" Zoe called back and met him in a hug. He pulled back and caught sight of Adam.

"I'll catch you guys later, okay?" he said, then left. He always confused me.

"We've gotta go backstage, so we'll see you guys after the concert," Jag said before he kissed me. All the guys walked away from us.

"Well, let's go find somewhere to sit," Zoe said, pulling us all toward the stage. We sat pretty far back because we didn't want to be in the mosh pit.

"What are they playing to win?" I asked.

"If they win they get a guaranteed spot at Warped Tour next year. But it's only for a couple days," Veronica explained. We waited for the bands to come on. There were about 15 bands competing, so this was going to be a long night.

"When is Broken Heart Remedy playing?" Kori asked bouncing up and down with excitement.

"They're third," Veronica said. Jeez, she knew the answers to everything.

__________

We cheered as BHR finished their set, making sure to cheer extremely loud. They said they'd be out after a couple of other sets, so we still had time to waste before they came out to sit with us.

"Zoe!" Steven slurred as he plopped down next to Zoe and wrapped his arm around her.

"Hey, Steven," she said, subtly scooting away from him. Some of his friends came over and sat next to him. One of them pulled out a joint and lit it. He passed it around to everyone. It got to me and I took a big hit off of it before passing it to Kori, who was sitting next to me. She took a small hit off of it before handing it to Veronica. She passed it to Zoe, neither of them taking a hit. Zoe was glaring at me and shaking her head, but I ignored her. She was hiding inside her hoodie with her hand covering her nose and mouth. The joint got back to me and I took another huge hit off of it. As I handed it to Kori, Zoe jumped up, yanking me up with her. She dragged me off to the side.

"Bitch! What the fuck do you think you're doing? You're pregnant!" She yelled at me.

"I'm just having some fun, God. Lighten up," I giggled. She shook her head and slapped me across the face. I was stunned.

"Where the fuck is Jag?" she growled, looking around.

"I could ask you the same thing," I slurred. She reached into the pocket of my pants and pulled out Jag's cell phone. I tore away from her and went back to the circle where they had a bottle of beer that they were passing around. The handed it to me as I sat down. I took a big swig of it and wiped my mouth before passing it to whoever was sitting next to me. I felt someone jerk me up by my arm. Jag was there, his face giving away just how pissed off he was.

"Roxie, what the hell?" he growled.

"L-Lighten up, Jesus," I slurred. I was having trouble standing up. Usually this little amount of pot wouldn't even phase me, but today it was making me feel weird.

"Why the hell were you smoking pot?" He demanded.

"Because I fucking felt like it," I giggled. Jag sighed.

"Roxie, you need to stop this! Smoking, drinking. You're pregnant for fuck's sake!"

"Stop using that against me! Y-You don't know what it's like," I said, trying to stumble away from him. I didn't have anywhere else to go.

"And the winner of this year's Battle of the Bands is..." the announcer started, "BROKEN HEART REMEDY!" The crowd started cheering. After that I can't remember much. It was like a blur. Crying as Jag drove us home, he wouldn't touch me, he left me in his bed. Then I fell asleep.

All I knew is that I didn't wanna play this game anymore. The drugs weren't getting me anywhere but farther away from my friends.