Painful Lullaby

I woke up to a semi-loud but very annoying beeping noise. I swear to God if that was Jag's phone, I was going to throw it against the wall. I opened my eyes and was practically blinded by the whiteness of everything. I was most definitely not in Jag's room. My heart sped up as I looked down at my scarred arms. There was an IV stuck into one. I was scared as fuck.

I tried to shift around on the uncomfortable bed, but it seemed impossible to find a comfort zone. I sighed in defeat and tried breathing through my nose. Bad idea, my nose was flooded with the sickening smell of gauze and rubbing alcohol. A telltale sign of a hospital. I gagged and started breathing through my mouth. I tried to keep my cool, but it was practically impossible. My heart only raced faster.

The door suddenly flew open, startling me and making the annoying beeping jump and pulse faster. I then realized that it was a heart monitor thing. A doctor walked in and seen that I was awake. He pulled a clipboard off of the end of the bed and walked over to me.

"Ah, the infamous Roxie Fischer," he said, looking at the clipboard. I laughed, and he looked at me questioningly.

"Sorry, it's just cool being infamous. Infamy over fame," I said, thinking of a Fall Out Boy song. The doctor laughed.

"Well, Infamous Roxie, I've got good news. You passed out from a mere case of exhaustion. You slept for two days because we gave you a bit of medicine. You may have had some odd dreams, that's normal," the doctor said.

"Wait, why was I exhausted?" I asked, confused. I thought Jag had taken me here...

"That boy out there, Ethan, said that you passed out at Warped Tour," the doctor explained.

"I'm not pregnant?" I asked.

The doctor laughed, "No, you're not. It seems as though you've been a victim of the dreams, too. Anything that happened since you passed out isn't real. It was all in your mind." I don't know why, but this made me want to cry. Maybe it was because the last few months of my life had been a lie.

"Man, that was a weird dream then," I said, laying back on the bed.

"Most dreams focus on parts of your life that you're the most stressed out over," he explained, checking my arms and stomach. He looked down at the clipboard.

"Well, whenever you're ready, you may leave," he said, taking the IV out of my arm. I shivered when he was done. I hated needles. He walked out of the room, and I stared at the ceiling for a moment. I collected myself after a few deep breaths, then sat up. The blood rushed from my head and made me dizzy. I was stiff from sleeping for so long. I took some more deep breaths, then stood up. I walked out the door and realized that I didn't know where I was going. I found a nurse walking by.

"Um, excuse me, but where is the waiting room?" I asked her politely.

"You go down that hall and turn left and it's the first door on the left," she said, then hurried on her way. I walked out of the room and followed the directions she gave me. I found Jag there, sitting on a chair asleep. I smiled and walked over to him. I gently shook his shoulder. He jumped, then seen me and smiled.

"Hey, nice to see you awake," he said groggily.

"I could say the same thing," I murmured. He kissed me on the lips gently, then took my hand. I felt weird, knowing that Eva didn't exist. I never beat up Kaylee or Brandy. Zoe and I didn't spend a week together and we didn't give Jag a makeover. I never was pregnant; I never had a miscarriage. I felt like crying because it wasn't real, because for as much pain as there was, it was the ideal life. Best friends, happy memories, and the perfect boyfriend. What more could anyone ask for?

Jag walked me to his car, our hands entwined. He opened the door for me and then got in himself. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. He turned to me, smiling.

"So, how do you feel?" he asked me.

"Oh, man. You are not going to believe the dream that I had."