Painful Lullaby

I must have worn Jag out, because he fell asleep right after our makeout session. Or maybe he'd stayed up to watch me sleep. I didn't know. But he looked so vunerable sleeping there. The music eventually lulled me to sleep, too.

__________

I woke up because of the silence. I rubbed my eyes to see Jag in nothing but boxers turning off his stereo. I couldn't help staring at him. I could see his ribcage, he was that skinny. No wonder he hadn't eaten anything. I acted like I was still sleeping, and he went back into the bathroom with a handful of clothes.

Then, my eyes fluttered back open. I really had to use the bathroom, but Jag was changing in there right now. So I had to wait patiently.

God, he was so fucking skinny! I knew it wasn't my problem, but I'd kissed him before I knew anything about him. I wanted to help him, just like he was helping me. But I couldn't do anything without him knowing that I knew.

So, I did the only thing I could do. I went downstairs to make him some food. I'm sure he wouldn't turn that down, if I'd made it for him. It'd seem like an innocent enough action.

I got out the pan he'd cooked my eggs in earlier and put some butter in it. I put some more coffee in to heat up, and cracked the eggs into the pan. The sizzling was calming, but I couldn't keep my fingernails out of my mouth. It was a terrible habit.

I scrambled the eggs, and as they quickly cooked, I put some sugar in Jag's coffee and set it at the table. I went back to the frying pan, and the eggs looked done, so I got out a plate and dumped them into it. I put on some salt and pepper, too. To make it look more appetizing, I hoped.

I went over to as stack of CD's that were piled on an end table in the living room. I pulled off the top CD, and put in in the player that Jag had left out. I hoped it was calming. But as the music started, I found out it was Dear and the Headlights. I'm not saying they're bad, but they're kind of depressing. But at least it was something I liked.

I found a bathroom, and went. I'm not going into detail about that. After I finished and washed my hands, I sat in a chair in the dining room.

I relaxed as well as I could in the chair. I heard Jag coming down the stairs, a big smile on his face. His smile faded as soon as he seen the eggs laid out for him.

"I made you some breakfast," I said, pointing at the eggs and coffee. I smiled as big as I could without it looking fake.

"T-thanks," he said, smiling back at me. I noticed his falter, and it made me worry even more. He sat down at the table, at hesitantly picked up his fork. He ate a few bites, but it looked like he was having trouble swallowing them. He ate about half before he said anything.

"I was thinking we could invite our friends over today, you know? Get everyone together, meet everyone."

"That's a great idea."

I noticed he didn't say anything about my eggs. He ate a few more, slow bites. Maybe it was the music. Maybe that's what made him not want to eat.

"These eggs are fantastic, but I'm full. And I need to use the bathroom," he excused himself. I picked up the eggs and acted like I was cleaning them up. He went into the bathroom. As soon as the door closed, I hurried over and pressed my ear silently to the door. I heard him gag himself, and throw up everything he'd just eaten. I suppressed a sob, and hurried back to the kitchen.

I acted like I was washing the dishes as a tear slid down my cheek. I wiped it away quickly, and I heard him open the door. I smiled at him as he grabbed the phone and sat down with his coffee.

"I'm gonna call my friends over. You can call yours after me, okay?" he asked, acting like everything was fine and dandy.

"Y-yeah. Sure," I agreed, and quickly finished. He called Adam first, then Bryce. He said he was having Bryce pick Donny up on his way here so that Jag didn't have to call him over. He handed me the phone. I called Zoe, Abbie, Kori, Victoria, and Brandy. They all readily agreed to meet us at the address I gave them as soon as they could.

There was no conversation between Jag and I. He did hold my hand and kiss my cheek, and I smiled at him. He probably knew something was up, but just didn't know what.

The doorbell rang five minutes later, and Jag and I answered it.

"Hey, Adam!" Jag greeted. Adam didn't say anything, he just looked at me with an emotion that looked like jealousy.

"Hey, Jag. Can I talk to you in private for a moment?" Adam asked. Jag nodded, and led Adam into the bathroom and closed the door. I could hear their muffled voices, and then Adam yelling.

"How could you do this to me, Jag!?"

I could hear Jag trying to calm Adam down, and a minute later Jag slipped out, leaving Adam in the bathroom. He took my hand again, and waited for everyone else to arrive.