And Without You Is How I Disappear
I know It's wrong but I can't help it.
Frank's POV:
“GERARD!!!YOU’VE PROMISED ME!!!” –I yelled on the top of my lungs walking to the backstage.I was all sweaty and tired and very very angry.
“Come on,Frankie,don’t be so overdramatic,we’ll play it on the next show, I promise…” said Gerard calmly.
“But you already promised me we’ll play “Our lady Of Sorrows” TODAY,you know how I love this song and we rarely play it live!!!YOU ‘VE DONE IT ON PURPOSE” – I said angrily and ran into the room with the large “My Chemical Romance” inscription on the door and didn’t forget to slam the door with all my force.
“ohhhhh,he’s such a child”-Gerard mumbled quietly and smiled.
“Hey Frank want some coffee ?You look tired” Ray asked when we got to the tour bus.
“Yeah, thanks Ray” I mumbled from the couch where I was lying comfortable.
“Ray!Make me some coffee too ,you know that I’m a coffee addicted” Gerard yelled from his seat in the back of the bus where he was watching some random movie.
“NO!MAKE IT YOURSELF! Ray doesn’t make coffee for the LIARS” I yelled from the couch.
“Sure, Gee. Just wait a minute ” Ray said giggling.
“Fucking traitor…” I mumbled offended.
“Frankiiieeeeeeeee…” Gerard purred looking at me with his puppy-dog eyes walking towards the couch where I was lying.Damn his gorgeous eyes,I can drown in them. ”Don’t be like that,you are breaking my heart OHHH ” he said dramatically ,rolling his eyes and placing his right hand on his heart. He looked like Romeo confessing his undying love for Julliet and this was too much for me. I’ve bursted into laugh and practically fell from the couch.
“Ok,ok,but you should make it up to me ” I said with a smirk.
“I ‘ve thought about it aaaaaaaaand TADAM!!! …..” he said with adorable smile and put something on Frank’s lap.
“Awwwwwww skittles!!!My babies!!mmmmmm….yummy” I moaned in pleasure and looked at Gerard with shiny eyes.”Oh Gee, you are officially forgiven” and gave him two sloppy kisses on each side of his cheek.
‘oh wow , things have changed radical in five minutes’ Ray said entering the room with two cups of coffee ”hope I didn’t interrupt something?” he said giggling.
“Oh shut the fuck up Toro” Gerard said smirking and taking coffee from Ray’s hands ”You know how much i love my baby-guitarist and this feeling ‘s mutual” he purred when I layed my head on his lap.
“Sister, I'm not much a poet, but a criminal .And you never had a chance. Love it, or leave it, you can't understand…..” it was my cell phone and yeah I have “thank you for the venom” as a ringtone .What?It’s a great song,why can’t use it as a ringtone?I know for sure that Davey Havok has “Miss Murder” as a ringtone ,so shut the fuck up…
I looked at ID. It was Jamia.
“Hey honey, whatcha doing?How was the concert?Where ‘r you now?I miss you so much… ” she always asks ten questions simultaneously. And I always answer the last one…
“hey Jamia!I We’r in the middle of nowhere right now and I miss you too ” I looked at Gee from below upwards,he made “Oh god, I hate this bitch” face and stood up from the couch.He never liked Jamia and she didn’t like him either.
She always tells me that I spend with him much more time than I spend with her and that sometimes she wonders who I’m dating: her or him. And Gerard don’t like her cuz ,well I dunno for sure but I guess it’s just an aversion.
Gerard…He’s my best friend and the most gorgeous person in the world. I have known him for so long, but so many aspects of him remain a mystery. I’d say he’s a mystery on legs. It’s really impossible to read his thoughts, though he always knows what I’m thinking about. He somehow feels it and yeah it’s really cool sometimes when I feel bad with no reason, to feel a warm hand on my shoulder and to hear a calm voice that whispers in my ear “It’s ok,Frankie,it’s ok…”His touch feels so good and right ,his voice send shivers down my spine and I never want it to stop. I want his hands on my neck,on my arms and in my hair and sometimes my feelings scare me, cuz it’s wrong,it’s fucking wrong .It’s Gee,my best friend,I shouldn’t feel this way about him. And I have Jamia who loves me. Of course I feel guilty about it. But sometimes I just can’t help it, sometimes I feel like I’m going to explode if I won’t touch him right now.And on the shows when he licks his fingers, rub himself against me and moan like a whore I ‘m so glad I have my guitar in front of me. It’s hard not to jump on him right then and there. It’s really hard.
“What are you chewing ,huh?” I heard Jamia’s curious voice and giggled.
“It’s skittles…Gee brought them to me,he knows my weakness ” I laughed and looked at Gerard lovingly.
“Oh,Gerard…I see…” she said dissatisfied. ”Is he somewhere near? ”
“Yeah,he ‘s right here,” I said glancing at Gerard and receiving an annoyed look from him “he said hi…” I added smiling at Gee.
“don’t lie to me baby,I know he hates me…” she said quietly.
“No,he ‘s not!!” I yelled ”he’s just an asshole sometimes”
“Right,in his case “sometimes” means “always”…”
I laughed and after saying our goodbyes we hung up.
“So I’m an asshole?” Gee was sitting on the couch next to me not looking at me.
“I was joking Geeeeeeeeeeeee…you are not an asshole ,you are beautiful…” I straddled his hips”amazing…” I licked his cheek flirty “gorgeous…” I kissed his forehead “unbelievable talented. ” I nibble at his earlobe “am I forgiven?” I murmured into his ear.
“Oh god …Frankie…what are you doing ?” he moaned slightly ,his hands on the small of my back.
“Just trying to deserve your forgiveness ” I whispered innocently.
“By seducing me,huh?” he asked hoarsely.
“Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm….”
“It’s all because of skittles,you always go crazy after eating them” he laughed and tried to get up. “You know what?” he asked rhetorically “I’m going to get some fresh air…”
“No you are not…you are staying here and telling me that you forgive me and still love me” I said with puppy eyes.
“Of course I love you,you silly crazy little motherfucker ” he smiled and kissed my forehead.
“Not an adorable, irresistible ,super famous Frank Antony Iero? ” I asked pretending to be insulted.
“NO!!!” he said laughing hard and walked out of the tour bus.
***
I felt the ray of sun on my face and buried my head in the pillow. Then I tried to fell asleep again but failed. Did I mention that I hate morning?Well I HATE MORNING!
I forced myself to open my eyes. The first thing I saw was Gerard’s hand hanging out from his bunk. I couldn’t help but stare at his white delicate arm with long slender fingers ,which were perfect even with his bitten nails. He always bites his nails when he ‘s nervous, it’s one of those old habits which very hard to break.
I sighed, feeling an empty rumble in my stomach and walked towards the kitchen. Ray and Mickey were sitting at the table. Ray was slowly sipping his coffee and Mikey was eating his muffin with a concentrated look on his face. ”Awww what a calm and charming view” – I thought. This “calm view” was broken when Ray has opened his mouth.
“wow Mikes ,just look at this! Our sleeping beauty is finally awake!!!” - he screamed like I have been sleeping for ten years. ”And where’s her sweet prince? “ he asked giggling.
“ohh here he is!!” – Mikey laughed when Gee entered the kitchen. Obviously they were in a good mood today.
“mmm?” Gee mumbled sleepy with an adorable yawn. He was extremely cute with his hair all messy after sleep. I couldn’t resist the temptation and slowly wrapped my arms around his waist and nuzzled in his hair ,inhaling it’s scent.
“Mmmmm…morning,Frankie…” he said smiling.
“Mormminmmmffffng” I mumbled in his hair.
“Ewwwwww….another “frerard” moment,huh?” Ray said making disgust face and turning towards Mikey.
“I guess so dude” Mikey answered with the same look “I think we should leave our lovebirds alone ” he said giggling. They always make fun of us because of our closeness.
And they stormed out of the kitchen giggling like two schoolgirls.
We stayed like that for a few minutes until Gerard finished drinking his coffee and walked towards refrigerator. I suddenly felt cold and lonely without him in my arms. It’s kind of weird how he could make me feel comfortable just being in the same room as me. We really were soul mates I guess. He could date whoever he wants ,I could date whoever i want,but we were soul mates (even maybe in a friendship way) and he knows that if he’ll call me someday and say “Hey Frankie I’m going to Antarctica and will live there” I’ll just say “Ok ,when’s OUR flight?”
“So what are we having today?” Gee asked distracting me from my thoughts.
“Today is Download Festival” I answered .
“Fuuuckkk….Is it today? Oh fuck,I have almost forgot about it” he said hysterically “When’s our sound check? Oh god I should at least get dressed” and he stormed out of the kitchen.
Yeah, I think I should go and get ready too. I hope today will be a great show…
“GERARD!!!YOU’VE PROMISED ME!!!” –I yelled on the top of my lungs walking to the backstage.I was all sweaty and tired and very very angry.
“Come on,Frankie,don’t be so overdramatic,we’ll play it on the next show, I promise…” said Gerard calmly.
“But you already promised me we’ll play “Our lady Of Sorrows” TODAY,you know how I love this song and we rarely play it live!!!YOU ‘VE DONE IT ON PURPOSE” – I said angrily and ran into the room with the large “My Chemical Romance” inscription on the door and didn’t forget to slam the door with all my force.
“ohhhhh,he’s such a child”-Gerard mumbled quietly and smiled.
“Hey Frank want some coffee ?You look tired” Ray asked when we got to the tour bus.
“Yeah, thanks Ray” I mumbled from the couch where I was lying comfortable.
“Ray!Make me some coffee too ,you know that I’m a coffee addicted” Gerard yelled from his seat in the back of the bus where he was watching some random movie.
“NO!MAKE IT YOURSELF! Ray doesn’t make coffee for the LIARS” I yelled from the couch.
“Sure, Gee. Just wait a minute ” Ray said giggling.
“Fucking traitor…” I mumbled offended.
“Frankiiieeeeeeeee…” Gerard purred looking at me with his puppy-dog eyes walking towards the couch where I was lying.Damn his gorgeous eyes,I can drown in them. ”Don’t be like that,you are breaking my heart OHHH ” he said dramatically ,rolling his eyes and placing his right hand on his heart. He looked like Romeo confessing his undying love for Julliet and this was too much for me. I’ve bursted into laugh and practically fell from the couch.
“Ok,ok,but you should make it up to me ” I said with a smirk.
“I ‘ve thought about it aaaaaaaaand TADAM!!! …..” he said with adorable smile and put something on Frank’s lap.
“Awwwwwww skittles!!!My babies!!mmmmmm….yummy” I moaned in pleasure and looked at Gerard with shiny eyes.”Oh Gee, you are officially forgiven” and gave him two sloppy kisses on each side of his cheek.
‘oh wow , things have changed radical in five minutes’ Ray said entering the room with two cups of coffee ”hope I didn’t interrupt something?” he said giggling.
“Oh shut the fuck up Toro” Gerard said smirking and taking coffee from Ray’s hands ”You know how much i love my baby-guitarist and this feeling ‘s mutual” he purred when I layed my head on his lap.
“Sister, I'm not much a poet, but a criminal .And you never had a chance. Love it, or leave it, you can't understand…..” it was my cell phone and yeah I have “thank you for the venom” as a ringtone .What?It’s a great song,why can’t use it as a ringtone?I know for sure that Davey Havok has “Miss Murder” as a ringtone ,so shut the fuck up…
I looked at ID. It was Jamia.
“Hey honey, whatcha doing?How was the concert?Where ‘r you now?I miss you so much… ” she always asks ten questions simultaneously. And I always answer the last one…
“hey Jamia!I We’r in the middle of nowhere right now and I miss you too ” I looked at Gee from below upwards,he made “Oh god, I hate this bitch” face and stood up from the couch.He never liked Jamia and she didn’t like him either.
She always tells me that I spend with him much more time than I spend with her and that sometimes she wonders who I’m dating: her or him. And Gerard don’t like her cuz ,well I dunno for sure but I guess it’s just an aversion.
Gerard…He’s my best friend and the most gorgeous person in the world. I have known him for so long, but so many aspects of him remain a mystery. I’d say he’s a mystery on legs. It’s really impossible to read his thoughts, though he always knows what I’m thinking about. He somehow feels it and yeah it’s really cool sometimes when I feel bad with no reason, to feel a warm hand on my shoulder and to hear a calm voice that whispers in my ear “It’s ok,Frankie,it’s ok…”His touch feels so good and right ,his voice send shivers down my spine and I never want it to stop. I want his hands on my neck,on my arms and in my hair and sometimes my feelings scare me, cuz it’s wrong,it’s fucking wrong .It’s Gee,my best friend,I shouldn’t feel this way about him. And I have Jamia who loves me. Of course I feel guilty about it. But sometimes I just can’t help it, sometimes I feel like I’m going to explode if I won’t touch him right now.And on the shows when he licks his fingers, rub himself against me and moan like a whore I ‘m so glad I have my guitar in front of me. It’s hard not to jump on him right then and there. It’s really hard.
“What are you chewing ,huh?” I heard Jamia’s curious voice and giggled.
“It’s skittles…Gee brought them to me,he knows my weakness ” I laughed and looked at Gerard lovingly.
“Oh,Gerard…I see…” she said dissatisfied. ”Is he somewhere near? ”
“Yeah,he ‘s right here,” I said glancing at Gerard and receiving an annoyed look from him “he said hi…” I added smiling at Gee.
“don’t lie to me baby,I know he hates me…” she said quietly.
“No,he ‘s not!!” I yelled ”he’s just an asshole sometimes”
“Right,in his case “sometimes” means “always”…”
I laughed and after saying our goodbyes we hung up.
“So I’m an asshole?” Gee was sitting on the couch next to me not looking at me.
“I was joking Geeeeeeeeeeeee…you are not an asshole ,you are beautiful…” I straddled his hips”amazing…” I licked his cheek flirty “gorgeous…” I kissed his forehead “unbelievable talented. ” I nibble at his earlobe “am I forgiven?” I murmured into his ear.
“Oh god …Frankie…what are you doing ?” he moaned slightly ,his hands on the small of my back.
“Just trying to deserve your forgiveness ” I whispered innocently.
“By seducing me,huh?” he asked hoarsely.
“Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm….”
“It’s all because of skittles,you always go crazy after eating them” he laughed and tried to get up. “You know what?” he asked rhetorically “I’m going to get some fresh air…”
“No you are not…you are staying here and telling me that you forgive me and still love me” I said with puppy eyes.
“Of course I love you,you silly crazy little motherfucker ” he smiled and kissed my forehead.
“Not an adorable, irresistible ,super famous Frank Antony Iero? ” I asked pretending to be insulted.
“NO!!!” he said laughing hard and walked out of the tour bus.
***
I felt the ray of sun on my face and buried my head in the pillow. Then I tried to fell asleep again but failed. Did I mention that I hate morning?Well I HATE MORNING!
I forced myself to open my eyes. The first thing I saw was Gerard’s hand hanging out from his bunk. I couldn’t help but stare at his white delicate arm with long slender fingers ,which were perfect even with his bitten nails. He always bites his nails when he ‘s nervous, it’s one of those old habits which very hard to break.
I sighed, feeling an empty rumble in my stomach and walked towards the kitchen. Ray and Mickey were sitting at the table. Ray was slowly sipping his coffee and Mikey was eating his muffin with a concentrated look on his face. ”Awww what a calm and charming view” – I thought. This “calm view” was broken when Ray has opened his mouth.
“wow Mikes ,just look at this! Our sleeping beauty is finally awake!!!” - he screamed like I have been sleeping for ten years. ”And where’s her sweet prince? “ he asked giggling.
“ohh here he is!!” – Mikey laughed when Gee entered the kitchen. Obviously they were in a good mood today.
“mmm?” Gee mumbled sleepy with an adorable yawn. He was extremely cute with his hair all messy after sleep. I couldn’t resist the temptation and slowly wrapped my arms around his waist and nuzzled in his hair ,inhaling it’s scent.
“Mmmmm…morning,Frankie…” he said smiling.
“Mormminmmmffffng” I mumbled in his hair.
“Ewwwwww….another “frerard” moment,huh?” Ray said making disgust face and turning towards Mikey.
“I guess so dude” Mikey answered with the same look “I think we should leave our lovebirds alone ” he said giggling. They always make fun of us because of our closeness.
And they stormed out of the kitchen giggling like two schoolgirls.
We stayed like that for a few minutes until Gerard finished drinking his coffee and walked towards refrigerator. I suddenly felt cold and lonely without him in my arms. It’s kind of weird how he could make me feel comfortable just being in the same room as me. We really were soul mates I guess. He could date whoever he wants ,I could date whoever i want,but we were soul mates (even maybe in a friendship way) and he knows that if he’ll call me someday and say “Hey Frankie I’m going to Antarctica and will live there” I’ll just say “Ok ,when’s OUR flight?”
“So what are we having today?” Gee asked distracting me from my thoughts.
“Today is Download Festival” I answered .
“Fuuuckkk….Is it today? Oh fuck,I have almost forgot about it” he said hysterically “When’s our sound check? Oh god I should at least get dressed” and he stormed out of the kitchen.
Yeah, I think I should go and get ready too. I hope today will be a great show…