Charisma

"Billie Joe, how many times do I have to tell you not to throw your cigarette butts onto my lawn?" My mother hollered the next morning, startling me awake.

I sat up and wiped my eyes as I felt something hit me straight in the chest. I looked down with tired eyes at the almost full cigarette. A cigarette that wasn't even the brand that I smoked.

"Mom, this isn't mine. But thanks for scaring Charisma and I awake." I tossed the cigarette into an ashtray that sat on my window seal and my mom furrowed her eyebrows.

"Charisma isn't here darling."

"What?" I looked over next to me and saw an empty bed but a fluffed pillow. I laughed at my girlfriend.

"She must've left early."

"Are you sure you aren't dreaming darling? Because I was on my out for work when I saw your filthy cigarette on my green lawn. It's only eight o'clock, I don't know why she would have to leave any earlier than now."

I scratched my messy hair and sighed.

"I don't know. It's fine though. I love you ma, have a great day at work." I spoke quickly as I grabbed a shirt from the top pile of clothing on my floor and grabbed my guitar case as I squeezed past my mom.

A half hour later I was sitting cross-legged on Mike's bed as I hummed a new tune out loud while he ate a bowl of cheerios since my early visit had woken him up.

"I just want to know why you are here so early." He shook his head as he took a bite.

"I'm inspired! I feel so alive right now for some reason. I just...I just want to write new stuff."

"And you needed to come here? I had a long shift at the coffee shop last night because Charisma missed her shift so I had to take over."

"Well yeah, I'm sorry about that. My mom woke me up by yelling this morning and I just needed to get out of there."

"Was she going to work, Bil?"

"Yeah, why?" I slapped my legs as a I hummed the beat faster.

"She would have been gone within five minutes of waking you up. You didn't need to get away from her because she was leaving anyway."

"I already apologized with coming over so early. But you are needed here because I have the tune so I need you to start coming up with a sweet bass line like you always do."

Mike chuckled.

"You do know how to make up for yourself. Lets here this beat."

*

"This is sounding like a love song." Tre sighed, listening to only the two lines of lyrics.

"Tre, how did you know?" I joked, picking up my guitar case. I pulled Blue out onto my lap and a folded piece of paper fell onto the ground.

"Are these the lyrics?" Tre asked, bending over to pick up the paper.

"I don't know. It doesn't look crumpled so probably not. Probably just something that fell in from my room." I shrugged, placing my fingers in their appropriate spots on the strings.

"Oh, god. Bill...I think you may want to take a look at this. It's an envelope with your name on it." The sound of Tre's voice told me that it was important and I ripped the envelope out of his hands.

Once I realized the handwriting, I stood up from Mike's bed and Blue fell to the side of me. Mike opened his mouth to speak but Tre shook his head to stop him.

"I'll be right back. I have to go look at something." I grabbed my keys out of my pocket as I ran through his house, tearing the front door open and feeling my stomach grow tight.

I drove to Charisma's house in under ten minutes. I couldn't tell you how many laws I broke, but in my eyes, it was an emergency.

I ran up the steps and banged on the door as hard as I could. There were no cars in the driveway, and all the lights seemed to be off. I whimpered as I pulled the envelope out of my pocket and sat down on the steps.

Billie Joe,

I'm sorry I have to do it this way. I really am. I love you so much Billie, I really do and the last thing I want is for this to hurt you more than it would have if I had the guts to do it in person. My family has gone back to London and I have gone with them for an important reason. I haven't told the guys or my family the reason yet, but I will tell you this: Someone here in Berkeley knows, and I made them promise not to tell a soul. So don't go looking, because I know I can keep their word. I love you Billie. We'll meet again one day, I promise.

Sincerely yours,

Charisma.

My throat tightened as I re-read her words. My heart ached and the tears were starting to drench the paper. I whimpered as I put my head in my hands as I grabbed a fistful of hair.

"Charimsa," I choked, "Oh Charisma."

I looked at the stone steps through my legs as I fell completely numb. Something in the envelope caught my eye as I saw the corner of something sticking out. I picked up the fallen paper and pulled out a Polaroid from the very first time we ever hung-out on the bridge.

She was smiling with her leather jacket on, her red lipstick and blowing smoke at the camera while I had my arm around her waist and laughed at her while she was trying to make a silly face. A memory captured for me to hold on to in real life.

"Thanks baby girl." I whispered as I tucked the picture away in my wallet. Something told me then that maybe things would work out in the end and I stood up from her steps with a smile on my face.