Status: Complete
Perfect Denial
Piece of Me
Dana collected her things, went home and stood outside her empty house and sobbed letting her tears mix with the rain pouring down her face.
She didn’t know what had happened. Or why it had happened. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know where to go. So she stayed.
It took her six months to realise that no matter how hard she tried to get over Bill, she couldn’t. It took six agonising months for her to realise he was gone and he was never coming back for her. He had left her, alone and heartbroken. He didn’t want her.
She tried desperately to stay with Aaron. He loved her…he loved her…he loved her…but she didn’t love him. She thought that maybe she could fall back in love with him…but she couldn’t. She didn’t believe her battered, bruised heart could love again.
For every time he held her or kissed her or loved her, she closed her eyes, wishing against all wishes it was Bill. That Bill had come back. That Bill was holding her. He was kissing her. He was loving her.
The break up was painful but not for Dana. By that stage she was numb and completely useless. Not feeling anything but the painful throb of the hole in her heart.
She watched as if she was another person, with no emotion left in her cold, dead eyes as Aaron screamed and threw things and finally crumbled in on himself, begging for another chance, that he loved her, that he needed her and her cried without shame as he watched the love of his life walk away.
She stroked his cheek and kissed him for one last time before picking up her suitcases and walked out of their home, not looking back.
She stayed one month in Boston with her father, barely eating or sleeping, taking the anti-depressants her father’s doctor had described and gradually losing weight and her spirit slowly everyday. And her father watched it ebb out of her slowly.
And finally she got on a plane and took a last look at America, home of heartbreak and flew to Hamburg, Germany.
She didn’t go for Bill. She didn’t go for Gustav. She didn’t go for Tokio Hotel.
She went because she wanted and needed to go home.
Dana didn’t know if she’d ever see Bill again. In fact she hoped she wouldn’t. She wasn’t sure she could look at his face again and not want to throw herself off a building for the fact he would never be hers again. All she knew was the pain he had caused her and was still causing her.
And even though she didn’t want to admit it, that hole in her heart causing such pain? That was a piece Bill had unknowingly claimed. For Bill would own a piece of her heart forever.
~PxD~
Bill wasn’t sure what to do when he arrived home. Everything looked blank and held no meaning. For there was no meaning to his life anymore without Dana. It felt like a piece of him were missing and he didn’t know how to fill it.
He tried Tom’s lifestyle. Sleeping with countless women, staggering out of bars and nightclubs at the early hours of the morning with blonde barbies hanging off his arms.
The press speculated what had caused the dramatic change. Where had their golden angel rock star go? Was it heartbreak? Was it a death? What had happened to Bill Kaulitz?
And what or more importantly whose ring was it that hung off the permanent chain around his neck?
Not a day went by that Bill didn’t think about Dana. Everyday he closed his eyes and relived every memory. Every woman he seen reminded him of her. Tat lady had her eyes, another her top. He had even run after a girl one day because he was convinced it was her…it was slowly driving him crazy.
He’d gone after her of course. The day they were going home to Germany he asked the taxi driver to stop at her house. He had needed to see her. To apologise and maybe even get her back.
He had entered through the back door, always left unlocked and stopped as he saw her.
Her back to him, her fingers skilfully skimmed across the black and white piano keys, playing the same tune over and over again. A tune Bill was unfamiliar with but still something about it struck him deep in the heart. And finally she stopped, buried her head in her arms and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
Bill backed out of the house slowly. She never even knew he was there. He went home to Germany. He had caused her enough pain. It was time to forget.
But it was hard to forget. Even after two years he hadn’t forgotten. Because that piece missing? That piece was Danas. She had that piece. She would own a piece of his heart forever. It was rightfully hers.
They didn’t plan to meet again.
But their destinies were weaved together.
It was inevitable.
She didn’t know what had happened. Or why it had happened. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know where to go. So she stayed.
It took her six months to realise that no matter how hard she tried to get over Bill, she couldn’t. It took six agonising months for her to realise he was gone and he was never coming back for her. He had left her, alone and heartbroken. He didn’t want her.
She tried desperately to stay with Aaron. He loved her…he loved her…he loved her…but she didn’t love him. She thought that maybe she could fall back in love with him…but she couldn’t. She didn’t believe her battered, bruised heart could love again.
For every time he held her or kissed her or loved her, she closed her eyes, wishing against all wishes it was Bill. That Bill had come back. That Bill was holding her. He was kissing her. He was loving her.
The break up was painful but not for Dana. By that stage she was numb and completely useless. Not feeling anything but the painful throb of the hole in her heart.
She watched as if she was another person, with no emotion left in her cold, dead eyes as Aaron screamed and threw things and finally crumbled in on himself, begging for another chance, that he loved her, that he needed her and her cried without shame as he watched the love of his life walk away.
She stroked his cheek and kissed him for one last time before picking up her suitcases and walked out of their home, not looking back.
She stayed one month in Boston with her father, barely eating or sleeping, taking the anti-depressants her father’s doctor had described and gradually losing weight and her spirit slowly everyday. And her father watched it ebb out of her slowly.
And finally she got on a plane and took a last look at America, home of heartbreak and flew to Hamburg, Germany.
She didn’t go for Bill. She didn’t go for Gustav. She didn’t go for Tokio Hotel.
She went because she wanted and needed to go home.
Dana didn’t know if she’d ever see Bill again. In fact she hoped she wouldn’t. She wasn’t sure she could look at his face again and not want to throw herself off a building for the fact he would never be hers again. All she knew was the pain he had caused her and was still causing her.
And even though she didn’t want to admit it, that hole in her heart causing such pain? That was a piece Bill had unknowingly claimed. For Bill would own a piece of her heart forever.
~PxD~
Bill wasn’t sure what to do when he arrived home. Everything looked blank and held no meaning. For there was no meaning to his life anymore without Dana. It felt like a piece of him were missing and he didn’t know how to fill it.
He tried Tom’s lifestyle. Sleeping with countless women, staggering out of bars and nightclubs at the early hours of the morning with blonde barbies hanging off his arms.
The press speculated what had caused the dramatic change. Where had their golden angel rock star go? Was it heartbreak? Was it a death? What had happened to Bill Kaulitz?
And what or more importantly whose ring was it that hung off the permanent chain around his neck?
Not a day went by that Bill didn’t think about Dana. Everyday he closed his eyes and relived every memory. Every woman he seen reminded him of her. Tat lady had her eyes, another her top. He had even run after a girl one day because he was convinced it was her…it was slowly driving him crazy.
He’d gone after her of course. The day they were going home to Germany he asked the taxi driver to stop at her house. He had needed to see her. To apologise and maybe even get her back.
He had entered through the back door, always left unlocked and stopped as he saw her.
Her back to him, her fingers skilfully skimmed across the black and white piano keys, playing the same tune over and over again. A tune Bill was unfamiliar with but still something about it struck him deep in the heart. And finally she stopped, buried her head in her arms and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
Bill backed out of the house slowly. She never even knew he was there. He went home to Germany. He had caused her enough pain. It was time to forget.
But it was hard to forget. Even after two years he hadn’t forgotten. Because that piece missing? That piece was Danas. She had that piece. She would own a piece of his heart forever. It was rightfully hers.
They didn’t plan to meet again.
But their destinies were weaved together.
It was inevitable.
♠ ♠ ♠
