Perfect Denial

“No! Georg stop….No!!” Dana screeched as she ran around the large rehearsal room at the large studio.

She screeched again as Georg continued to chase her, knocking over the chairs and tables in the way, dodging Gustav’s foot to trip him up and finally rugby tackling Dana into the soft red couch that was positioned by the wall.

She squealed as he pinned her down, grinning at the laughter of Ace and Gil, and proceeded to tickle her flat stomach. She kicked and hit out at the man and Georg finally got up off her, laughing hysterically as Dana pushed him off her, her face red with tears of laughter dripping on her face and aimed a kick at him.

She gave her bandmates the finger, and still grinning walked over to the table with her water bottle, grabbing it and purposely ignoring Georg, who was still laughing, proceeded to drink.

Bill smiled, where he sat on the opposite side of the room, balancing his laptop on his thin knees. He looked over the luminescent screen to peer at the auburn haired girl, who was now leaning against the wall, tonguing with her black lip ring.

He allowed himself a blissful moment of pure happiness and relief as he realised his Dana, the Dana they had all fallen in love with was coming back. Her laugh had some meaning to it now, it was no longer empty. Her eyes had the sense of promise. The promise she had made to herself that she would no longer hurt, she would no longer suffer from the aches he had caused.

And Bill was sorry.

He was sorry that he had ever made that dazzle disappear from her startlingly blue eyes. That he had been the reason a smile fell from her face and that he was the reason she was now fighting an addiction, that would lie with her, battling for power for the rest of her life.

He turned off his laptop and pushing it to the side, walked quietly over to Dana, who had turned away from the two bands…who were now having a “who can fit the most grapes in my mouth competition” . She was staring quietly down at her own hands, and Bill peered over her shoulder to see they were shaking violently, screaming out to Dana to give in.

He reached around her, enclosing both of her shaking hands in his, so she was wrapped in a hug, her body close to his, their heat sizzling into each other.

“You’re not alone” he whispered gently into her ear, his breath tickling her skin.

Dana let out a soft gasp, unable to resist the sweet smelling seduction that was Bill Kaulitz. She seemed to almost press into his body, wanting to mould herself to his shape. To become one with him.

“I know” she breathed

They stayed like that for a moment, until a scream of triumph from Georg caused them both to jump away like guilty teenagers.

Dana looked up at Bill, her eyes pleading with him to not let her fall again. She gave a small smile, and then skipped over to Ace to join him in the opening riffs of Guitar Hero.

Bill stared after her, wanting to call her back. To kiss her. But he didn’t. He had almost caused her to collapse completely and she was so fragile still, he wasn’t going to break her again.

Now was not the right time but something called inside to Bill that maybe, possibly, Dana wanted him still. That she still loved him and she could forgive and forget for what he had done. That she knew that if she gave Bill another chance, she wouldn’t regret it because he would never hurt her again.

Her words from the hospital came back to him, the words she had uttered as she was attached to the machines recording the life she had so nearly lost
“I don’t want to keep feeling for you…I have to move on…and I’m going to Bill…I will move on”

Bill rubbed his eyes wearily and tugged at a stiff dreadlock that escaped his beanie hat. He looked back at the group of people, his friends, his colleagues.
He looked at Dana, the love of his life. She wanted to move on…and she wanted to stop feeling for him. And as much as Bill hated that, he knew he couldn’t stop it. He had gotten his chance and he had wasted it away. He had believed that she could fall for him all over again…and maybe she could but he was going to have to prove that he wasn’t going to repeat the last time. That this time he deserved her because he wasn’t moving on. He was stuck dead still in the same place he had been since the day she had first walked through that door of a small LA backstage room.

He was stuck irrevocably in love.