Blood Soaked Black Rose

Emily’s POV
I sat on the couch thinking. My dad was supposed to be going over to Krystal’s today. Mom didn’t know. I could easily say I was going over to their house and meet him. I had vague memories of playing with him. I remembered the way he would talk. Like someone was listening and he didn’t want them to hear. I remembered the way his lips felt on my cheek when he’d kiss me. The metal cold in contrast to his warm lips.

My little sister, Izzy, sat down next to me with my makeup bag. She was ten. Why she needed makeup I didn’t know. She was beautiful without it. Unlike me. I looked disgusting. Mom said I was like Kyler. He had to hide behind it. I didn’t care. I liked having similarities with him. Like the fact that I wasn’t straight. Zakky said that he thought that he was gay. Mom said he was bi and so did Jaidee. I trusted them. They had solid answers. Not an “I think.”

“Em’ly, will you do my makeup?” She asked.

“Anna, you look fine.”

“No. I want to look pretty like you. You’re beautiful.” I smiled to myself. She was so naïve. I wasn’t anything special. I was just…just me. Emily Andrews. Nothing special at all.

“Fine, but I have to go in like half an hour okay?”

“Okay.” I fixed her makeup and showed her in the mirror. “Thank you. I look really pretty.” She hugged me. I had two sisters and a brother. Izzy and Anna were my sisters. Anastasia and Isabell. Anna was thirteen and the most annoying thing on the planet. She was majorly preppy which was weird considering who our parents were. Luckily, Izzy wasn’t to the point where she had discovered her true self. My brother was probably my favorite person on the planet. It’s funny. I hated Anna and loved Riley. Riley was only a few years younger than I was. Fifteen. He was another kid that was born when our parents were in high school. He was the perfect brother in my book. I could talk to him about things that mattered. He was my best friend and I was his. That’s just how it worked.

“You’re welcome Izzy. I’m gonna go now kay?”

"M’kay. I love you.” She hugged me.

“Love you too baby.” I found Sean talking to my mom in the kitchen.

“I don’t know Addie. I mean, why can’t she?”

“Because I don’t want her too okay? She doesn’t need to be around him. I can’t even stand it and he and Jaidee were like my best friends ever!”

“Mom, I’m going to spend the day with Krystal and Emery okay?”

“Okay whatever.” She said and went back to talking to her precious Sean. Don’t get me wrong. I loved Sean. He was a great stepdad and wonderful substitute for Kyler, but the truth was a girl needed to know her father. Whether she liked him or not was just a technicality. Did I like my father? I couldn’t answer. People ask me that all the time. Whatever.

I slipped into my car and started it up. Alesana blasted from the speakers. Gosh, I loved that my dad had given Zakky all his CDs to give to me. Old school screamo and emo and hardcore was amazing. I didn’t like the new shit. That’s what it was. Shit. I listened to the old bands that were still around. My Chemical Romance, Alesana, From First to Last give or take a few members and some others still toured and put out CDs.

I pulled up to the house and saw Kryssi sitting with Aiden on the porch. They were heavily making out. I rolled my eyes and opened my door. I walked up and cleared my throat. They jumped apart.

“Emily?” Aiden asked and relaxed sliding his hand into my cousin’s.

“Aiden? Oh, wow. I know your name. So what’s the diagnosis emo baby? Tonsillitis?”

“Haha, very funny.” He mumbled. I liked Aiden, loved him really. He was a cool kid. I just couldn’t stand his views. Once we got in a fight it took us a least a week to cool down. Not Aiden really. He never got fired up. He was very mellow.

“Really.”

“No. Just a case of, oh my gosh!”

“What?” I turned around and then Aiden attacked Krystal with a huge hug and tickled her. “What?”

“Um, love fever?” He said smirking laying his head on her shoulder.

“Oh. Whatever. Yo Krys, where’s your dad?”

“Inside not speaking to Eddie. It’s weird. Eddie’s begging for him to talk to him and he refuses. It’s usually the other way around.”

“Zakky’s finally grown a backbone.” I smiled and walked in despite the look on Kryssi’s face.

“Come on Zakky. Please say something! I’m begging you!” There was no answer. Zakky smiled at me and went out the front door. I followed.

“Uncle Zakky?” I called. He turned around.

“Yeah?”

“Is my dad coming over today?”

“Uh…I don’t know. I think I’ll just pick him up and take him somewhere.”

“Can you please bring him here? Please?”

“Um…okay.” I smiled and hugged him.

“Thank you!” I went in the house after deciding that the awkward looks Aiden and Kryssi were giving me that I was unwanted there. No prob. I have twin cousins to talk to and an uncle who I guess is just emotionally inept.

“Emily?” Emery smiled at me.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“How are you doing?” I hugged him telling him that I was okay and asked the same to him.

“I’m good. Aubren’s sick though.”

“Aw, I’m sorry.” Aubren walked out of his room with a blanket wrapped around him.

“Is he gone yet?” He asked.

“Yeppers.” Emery answered. Eddie glanced over and looked down again. What had they been fighting about? Well Zakky wasn’t talking so they couldn’t really be fighting, but…

“Aubren, just because he left doesn’t mean you can go against what your father said.”

“Technically he’s my mother. If you want to get all technical about it. And since when did you turn into his backup? You never used to care. If he said we couldn’t do something, you’d let us.”
“Yes, but that was before and this is now. I know he said it now.”

“Gosh, you’re so annoying.” Aubren huffed back to his room.

“And Emery, you need to go practice that guitar. You have lessons tomorrow. Zakky didn’t buy it for you and pay for the lessons for you to not practice and wing it. Also I believe you have a project due that he told you to finish or start. And your homework.” Emery sighed mumbling fun sucker under his breath. “What was that young man?”

“Nothing.”

“Good.”

“It’s just, you take the fun out of playing guitar. I do it when I want. It’s spontaneous. He gets it. Why don’t you?”

“Because I know he told you to practice.”

“If I felt like it.”

“Emery, shut up and go.” Eddie said.

“Fine.” Emery disappeared.

“Harsh huh?” I asked.

“No. I have to do something to make him stop hating me.” He said scrubbing the oven hard. I could see the tears in his eyes. “You sometimes…sometimes I don’t even get myself. I know that I’m hurting him, but I don’t care. What’s wrong with me? And you know, sometimes I lie awake staring at Zakky. Watching him sleep. I think, why did this sweet, sweet man take me back? Why did he give me three great kids? Why did he not go for people like Matthew and Logan? They made him so happy. And then there are these times when I can’t look at the twins because I never know if they’re really mine. I see them, and I think, maybe they’re his. Maybe they’re Matt’s. Then Kryssi would be my only biological kid, but she hates me. She loves Matt. He helped Zakky raise her through all the hard stuff. The time that was so important. I’m not good enough for him. I’m not good enough for Zakky and I…I never will be.”

“That’s right. You’re not.” Zakky said. “But there are times when you say the most wonderful things and I just want to do this.” Zakky came into the room and took Eddie’s hands, placing them on his hips. He then put his hands behind Eddie’s head and pulled him so close that I didn’t get how two people could kiss like that. I turned around and went to the living room.

I stopped when I saw a guy staring at the black TV, He looked familiar. I knew he had to be Kyler. His black hair, his blue-green eyes, his snakebites, the clothes…Kyler. Daddy. I slowly approached. He bit his lip and glanced at me.

“It’s kinda scary.” He said.

“What?”

“TV. Who are you?”

“Emily. I’m your daughter.”

“You’re Emily?” He sat up.

“Yeah.”

“You’re pretty. Zakky was right.”

“No. I’m not pretty at all.”

“No really.” He avoided looking at me. Mom told me he never looked at anyone.

“How would you know if you’ve only glanced at me?”

“Because. Because I know. Sorry I’m a bit crazy.” He forced his eyes to look at me. I smiled.

“It’s okay.” I sat down next to him.

“So…um…hi.”

“Hi. Do you want me to tell you about me?” He nodded and stared blankly at the TV. “I’m a lesbian. I don’t like guys. They’re just not all that great. I don’t get the big deal. I have a girlfriend named Ameir. She’s sweet. Don’t worry about anything horrible going on. Um…I’m W…never mind.” I remembered Kryssi’s note. “I like coloring my hair. Music’s amazing. I like reading. Love my brother, Riley. He’s my best friend ever. Um…I don’t know. I work at a music store. Um…yeah. That’s me.” I waited for his response.

“Do you like the dark?”

“What? Yeah. I guess.”

“I don’t. Things are in the dark. Scary things. That’s why I don’t like this show.” He said. The TV was off. I nodded wondering if had even heard me.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I like that name. Ameir. It’s pretty. You have a girlfriend? That’s sweet.” I nodded. “Do you cut?” He asked.

“No.”

“Yeah…I do. I miss it. They don’t let me at the hospital, but I do. See.” He lifted his sleeve. I quickly looked away. I hated the sight of wounds. It was gross. Blood. I shivered and stood up.

“You shouldn’t do that. Z-Zakky couldn’t get in t-trouble.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t. He won’t. He didn’t do it.”

“Well…I have to go.” I said and ran out of the house feeling the tears streak down my face.

“Emily, wait!” Krystal ran over to me.

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s insane!” I hissed. “I…It's like he doesn’t even get that I’m there! It’s like…I have to go. My mom was right.” She grabbed my wrist.

“He has his bad days. Daddy said he was having a bad day. I love him okay? So if you don’t shut up, I will fucking hurt you.”

“I’m sorry. Krys, you, you should tell your dad that he showed me his arms. I…Just…it’s not good okay?” I hugged her and sped off. I wouldn’t tell Mom that I met him. Nope….