Blood Soaked Black Rose
Pain Without Love
A Few Hours Later:
Krystal’s POV
So these people were my grandparents? I couldn’t stand them. The way they commented on the house. “Don’t you think you could do a better job Zakky?” and “The kids are too skinny.” And “Aren’t gay guys supposed to be good at interior design? It looks like crap in here.” They needed to shut up. Daddy hadn't stopped crying since he got home. Well really since yesterday. Eddie said something was wrong with him. It was nice to see my dad care about other people than himself. I went to my room unable to take it anymore.
“Krystal?” Eddie knocked on the door. I got up and opened it. He looked so sad. So desperate.
“Yeah?” I said trying to sound okay.
“Can I come in and talk to you?” I nodded and let him in. He sat down on my bed and hugged me. He kissed the top of my head. “Do you hate me still?”
“No.” I whispered.
“Good cuz I’m gonna tell you something that could have potential to make you need another crutch besides Zakky.”
“What?” I asked leaning closer to him. This was how it started. I hated that I couldn’t stop the process of getting close to him. He ended up leaving on tour.
“Baby, Zakky has leukemia.”
“What? And, and his fucking parents are being like that? What the hell? Do they know?”
“Yeah. Honey, let me explain to you about them. They wanted a perfect little boy. They ended up with Zakky. He would have been they’re second perfect little girl, but they decided to play God and take these pills to alter the sex. It didn’t work. It ended up with Zakky becoming a functional hermaphrodite. His male parts are sterile. They’re somewhat under developed, but it works. They aren’t homophobes really. They liked me. They just were like that to Zakky. Then they decided to pressure their adopted son. Too bad he’s schizophrenic and bi. Poor kid never stood a chance. Neither one of them.”
I listened to the words and let them sink in. I guess it could have been worse. I guess Eddie could hate me. He loved me now. I knew that. He always tried to make me happy. I bit my lip thinking about the way Daddy would swing me, play with me, color pictures. I remembered days that I was alone with Mattie or Aunt Tera. Nights when I’d want water and someone other than Daddy came. That was one thing Daddy never answered. Where was he? I leaned over and hugged Eddie. I felt him tense then become calm. He hugged me back.
“Dad?”
“Hm?”
“What did Daddy do for money when I was little?” Eddie looked away from my eyes then to the floor. “Just tell me.”
“Don’t tell him I told you okay? He’s so honest with you and the twins. He just never wanted to relieve that. You have to understand that he never wanted to do this. I guess that’s what happens when I’m a jackass right? He gets further into the hole I dug for him?” I nodded. “He was a stripper/whore.” I stared at him.
"N-no. H-he couldn’t have.”
“Matt pulled him out of it.”
“You’re lying.”
“I wish I was.” I could tell he wasn’t, but my Daddy? How could anyone be that desperate?
“Can I call Aiden?” I whispered letting the tears slip rapidly down my cheeks.
“Yeah. Do what ever you need babe.” I smiled hugging him again. He kissed my forehead and went to leave. “I love you Krys.”
“I love you too.” I whispered after he closed the door. I dialed Aiden’s home and he answered on the first ring.
“Hello?”
“Aiden, I need you. Can you meet me by the river?’
“Yeah sure. Are you okay?”
“No. Just come.”
“I’ll be right there.” I hung up and slipped on my new shoes and grabbing my Daddy’s old varsity swim team jacket he let me have. It said Carson on the back. On my way out the door, Emery caught me.
“Where are you going?” He asked.
“Nowhere.”
“Can I come?”
“No. Go inside.” I said still walking hurriedly down the street. Emery followed me still.
“I can’t…I can’t be there. Not with what’s going on. I…I don’t want Daddy to be sick. If he dies, what’s gonna happen? And Aubren’s sick too. I’m so freaked out. I can’t be there.” He said as tears welled in his green eyes.
"Don’t cry. You can come.” I hugged him wiping the tears. I couldn’t stand it. You hear about people getting cancer all the time, but when it happens to you or someone you love, you can’t get away. I knew that now. I used to think that Kaleb needed to stop being so depressed when his family got two people diagnosed with cancer at the same time. I used to think, what can you do? Life is life. Death is part of life. Daddy made that clear to me from a young age. He used to talk about it a lot when he was pregnant with my brothers and Eddie would leave or yell at Daddy. He’d be talking to Matthew or Ashlie at the time.
We arrived at the river and I sat down. Emery sat next to me. Neither of us said anything. I loved Emery more than anyone except Daddy and maybe Aiden. Aiden showed up five minutes later. “Hey what’s wrong?” He asked hugging him tightly.
“Daddy’s sick. He has leukemia.” I said in voice that I didn’t recognize. I heard Emery’s attempted silent sobs next to me. Poor Em. He was always connected to Aubren, but he’d been sick. Emery wasn’t allowed to be around him when he was sick. This was the first time it had been enforced and Emery wasn’t sick. They didn’t have friends. After all, they were the weird twins that did everything together. People said they practiced kissing with each other. I could neither confirm or deny these accusations, but when confronted I always denied. I didn’t think they did. To help their case, they were the sons of two gay guys…biologically. Nobody liked that.
Krystal’s POV
So these people were my grandparents? I couldn’t stand them. The way they commented on the house. “Don’t you think you could do a better job Zakky?” and “The kids are too skinny.” And “Aren’t gay guys supposed to be good at interior design? It looks like crap in here.” They needed to shut up. Daddy hadn't stopped crying since he got home. Well really since yesterday. Eddie said something was wrong with him. It was nice to see my dad care about other people than himself. I went to my room unable to take it anymore.
“Krystal?” Eddie knocked on the door. I got up and opened it. He looked so sad. So desperate.
“Yeah?” I said trying to sound okay.
“Can I come in and talk to you?” I nodded and let him in. He sat down on my bed and hugged me. He kissed the top of my head. “Do you hate me still?”
“No.” I whispered.
“Good cuz I’m gonna tell you something that could have potential to make you need another crutch besides Zakky.”
“What?” I asked leaning closer to him. This was how it started. I hated that I couldn’t stop the process of getting close to him. He ended up leaving on tour.
“Baby, Zakky has leukemia.”
“What? And, and his fucking parents are being like that? What the hell? Do they know?”
“Yeah. Honey, let me explain to you about them. They wanted a perfect little boy. They ended up with Zakky. He would have been they’re second perfect little girl, but they decided to play God and take these pills to alter the sex. It didn’t work. It ended up with Zakky becoming a functional hermaphrodite. His male parts are sterile. They’re somewhat under developed, but it works. They aren’t homophobes really. They liked me. They just were like that to Zakky. Then they decided to pressure their adopted son. Too bad he’s schizophrenic and bi. Poor kid never stood a chance. Neither one of them.”
I listened to the words and let them sink in. I guess it could have been worse. I guess Eddie could hate me. He loved me now. I knew that. He always tried to make me happy. I bit my lip thinking about the way Daddy would swing me, play with me, color pictures. I remembered days that I was alone with Mattie or Aunt Tera. Nights when I’d want water and someone other than Daddy came. That was one thing Daddy never answered. Where was he? I leaned over and hugged Eddie. I felt him tense then become calm. He hugged me back.
“Dad?”
“Hm?”
“What did Daddy do for money when I was little?” Eddie looked away from my eyes then to the floor. “Just tell me.”
“Don’t tell him I told you okay? He’s so honest with you and the twins. He just never wanted to relieve that. You have to understand that he never wanted to do this. I guess that’s what happens when I’m a jackass right? He gets further into the hole I dug for him?” I nodded. “He was a stripper/whore.” I stared at him.
"N-no. H-he couldn’t have.”
“Matt pulled him out of it.”
“You’re lying.”
“I wish I was.” I could tell he wasn’t, but my Daddy? How could anyone be that desperate?
“Can I call Aiden?” I whispered letting the tears slip rapidly down my cheeks.
“Yeah. Do what ever you need babe.” I smiled hugging him again. He kissed my forehead and went to leave. “I love you Krys.”
“I love you too.” I whispered after he closed the door. I dialed Aiden’s home and he answered on the first ring.
“Hello?”
“Aiden, I need you. Can you meet me by the river?’
“Yeah sure. Are you okay?”
“No. Just come.”
“I’ll be right there.” I hung up and slipped on my new shoes and grabbing my Daddy’s old varsity swim team jacket he let me have. It said Carson on the back. On my way out the door, Emery caught me.
“Where are you going?” He asked.
“Nowhere.”
“Can I come?”
“No. Go inside.” I said still walking hurriedly down the street. Emery followed me still.
“I can’t…I can’t be there. Not with what’s going on. I…I don’t want Daddy to be sick. If he dies, what’s gonna happen? And Aubren’s sick too. I’m so freaked out. I can’t be there.” He said as tears welled in his green eyes.
"Don’t cry. You can come.” I hugged him wiping the tears. I couldn’t stand it. You hear about people getting cancer all the time, but when it happens to you or someone you love, you can’t get away. I knew that now. I used to think that Kaleb needed to stop being so depressed when his family got two people diagnosed with cancer at the same time. I used to think, what can you do? Life is life. Death is part of life. Daddy made that clear to me from a young age. He used to talk about it a lot when he was pregnant with my brothers and Eddie would leave or yell at Daddy. He’d be talking to Matthew or Ashlie at the time.
We arrived at the river and I sat down. Emery sat next to me. Neither of us said anything. I loved Emery more than anyone except Daddy and maybe Aiden. Aiden showed up five minutes later. “Hey what’s wrong?” He asked hugging him tightly.
“Daddy’s sick. He has leukemia.” I said in voice that I didn’t recognize. I heard Emery’s attempted silent sobs next to me. Poor Em. He was always connected to Aubren, but he’d been sick. Emery wasn’t allowed to be around him when he was sick. This was the first time it had been enforced and Emery wasn’t sick. They didn’t have friends. After all, they were the weird twins that did everything together. People said they practiced kissing with each other. I could neither confirm or deny these accusations, but when confronted I always denied. I didn’t think they did. To help their case, they were the sons of two gay guys…biologically. Nobody liked that.