Blood Soaked Black Rose

A Week Later
Zakky’s POV
Eddie had insisted that we did a paternity test for the boys. We were waiting in the office for the results the next day. The twins weren’t with us. It was me, Eddie and Matt. He was smiling as usual. Eddie told him to stay on the other side of the room and to keep himself and his dick to him self, away from me. Asshole. He was a good friend. Sure, I’d had one of the best relationships ever with him, but that didn’t mean anything. A woman in a suit came over to us.

“Please follow me to my office.” She said. The three of us went with her. I felt pretty drained, but Eddie told me I had to go. The results were that they were Matt’s kids. He told Eddie he didn’t care if we didn’t tell them. It was fine with him and he would do whatever we wanted. Outside the office, Eddie started yelling at Matthew that he could go shove his dick in someone else because I was his property. He said that he couldn’t very well keep him from seeing his kids and Kryssi, but he could keep him away from me. Matthew said okay and left.

“You hear that? Huh you fucking bitch? You hear that, whore? You can not see him. You’re too much of a fucking slut. Get in the damn car.” I got in and closed my eyes. Why? Why did that test have to prove that? “Zakky?” I looked at him. “Since you’ve been such a slut and cheating on me all along, I’m going to help you understand the rules of faithfulness.” He stopped the car in a very secluded area.

“Eddie, I swear to you. I haven’t. That was thirteen years ago! Almost fourteen. We weren’t together! I was dating him for two years. You can’t expect me to just stand there and not let him do what he wants. What he needs.”

“Out of the car. strip like you did for all those perverts then spread ‘em.” I stared at him. “You heard me.”

“I don’t feel like it. Eddie, I fucking have cancer!”

“I don’t give a fuck. Now.” He said. I complied. I went back to my stripper days. Back to the days that I was selling my body for money. Selling myself so that my daughter could eat, have a warm place to stay and sleep, have diapers. I regretted that part of my life. I’d go dance, give guys blowjobs, and let them sex me up. I looked at Eddie. We were both naked.

“Where do you want to do it?” I asked.

“There.” He pointed to a place where there were a lot of thorns and rocks. I bit my lip and did as he said. I deserved it after all. I deserved it after being a slut. I couldn’t tell you how many guys I’d slept with. It was at least a hundred. By the time I’d graduated high school, I’d been with ten. I knew that this wasn’t Eddie. He was drunk at the moment. I knew that if I just took it, he’d leave me alone. He always did. He fucked me in both of my fuckable places. I cried silently. I got dressed when he told me. We got in the car and he passed out. I fell asleep too.

Eddie’s POV
I woke up and my head ached. Fuck…no more drinking. It sucked. Damn…they weren’t my kids. At least there was no doubt about Krystal. I still had my little girl. I noticed I was in a car. “What the hell?” I muttered.

“Are you still drunk?” I heard a small whimper. I looked over and saw Zakky leaning against the window. “Cuz if you are, I promise, I won’t even look at another guy again. Never. Not even by accident.” I reached my hand out to stroke a cut on his cheek. He whimpered and moved back.

“It’s okay. I-I’m not drunk. What happened?” I asked holding my arms out to him. He crawled into them.

“Don’t drink ever again please.” He begged sobbing.

“What’d I do?” I asked and suddenly remembered. “Shit. Baby, I'm sorry. You know…you know I didn’t mean it. I don’t care if you’re friends with him. Feel free to look at guys. You’re allowed. I mean, I already know I won. You married me.”

“Promise you won’t drink again.” He said.

“I promise.”

“Good. Now can we please go home?”

“yeah.” I kissed his forehead and started the car.

Zakky’s POV
I jumped opening my eyes. I was laying against Eddie who was reading a magazine. We were in the waiting room for a round of chemo. “Hey. They haven’t called you yet babe.” Eddie smiled kissing my cheek. It had all been a dream. I felt as unpenetrated as I had for the last month. I knew it was killing Eddie to not ever sexing me up. I was too tired. I couldn’t. He always laid there with me after I turned him down and hold me telling me it was okay as I helped make his little problem go away with my fingers.

“Zakky, come with us.” The nurse said. She was very sweet. I liked her despite what she called me to do. I didn’t mind talking to her. She reminded me of Ashlie. I wished Ashlie was here. I hadn't seen her in for like ever. I sighed as the nurse put in the IV. I closed my eyes and laid my head against Eddie. He whispered in my ear that he loved me and that I was going to get through this. That by the end of the next eleven months I wouldn’t have to do this. I hoped he was right. The chemo hurt. I always go sick. I never had energy anymore. Sure, that could be because of my fucking cancer. Why was I the one who go sick? What had I done to make this happen? Why wasn’t Eddie the one here? The one who lied and cheated and hurt. The guy who would hit me. The guy who would practically rape me. The guy who left me and our daughter. The guy who changed for me. The man I was in love with. I felt horrible for wishing this on him, but I couldn’t help but mean what I thought in my mind. About two hours later, I was done and Eddie was taking me to the car. I clutched my stomach feeling sick.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine.” I whispered clasping my seat belt.

“You sure about that?”

“Positive.” I said.

“They said you need a bone marrow transplant. I’m getting tested, but I don’t know if I’m a match. And Zakky, I swear that if I do, I will gladly give all my marrow to you just so you would get better. You don’t deserve this. You’re too sweet, to kind, to loving to have to live with this. I would die for you, you know? I truly would. I promise. I’m not just saying that. I mean it. I would die for you and our kids.”

“Eddie, did we find out the results yet?”

“Of the paternity test? Yeah. They called this morning. I’m not mad or anything. They’re his. I’ll be here though. I still love them. And I have you and Kryssi. You guys are still my family. And really so are they. I mean, just cuz I’m not technically their father according to biology doesn’t mean I love them less than Krystal or before I knew. Matthew doesn’t know as far as I’m aware. I think you should be the one to tell him though. He said he didn’t care and personally, he was fine just letting them be my twins. You were asleep so I didn’t wake you. You should sleep.”

“I’m always asleep.” I muttered.

“Well you need rest baby. You’re fighting this. You’ve gotta sleep to get better. It’s just how it is.” We were quiet for a little ways. I broke the silence.

“So Eddie, um…you promise you’re gonna stay here. You’re not gonna leave or anything?”

“I’m staying here. To be completely honest, I thought that you’d be happier with him. Matthew. I still can’t forgive myself for making him leave. Making him dump you. You were truly happy with Matthew Lush aka Gay God.” I giggled as Eddie tickled me. I was wearing a shirt that said, “Taste my rainbow” with an arrow pointing to my fun place and a Gay God hoodie complete with my favorite pair for tight trip pants. That had been a happier time. I didn’t have cancer. I wasn’t fighting with Eddie. I was just living with Matthew. We’d fuck sometimes, but not all the time. I liked the way I was with Eddie. There was nothing I could do that he wouldn’t know about. Nothing. I liked not having to explain my choices.

“I’m glad.” I laid my head on his shoulder and smiled thinking about what things were like now. I couldn’t believe that my twin boys were the amazing Gay God’s. How cool was that? I had twins with a guy that helped me the most. Picked up my pathetic life for me and showed me that I was worth the best. What he showed me Eddie had only made me feel a million miles beneath it and getting farther away.

Eddie’s POV
We got home and Ashlie was waiting on our couch. Krystal was in a deep conversation with her. The twins were skateboarding around the street. Kyler was sitting in his little emo corner. He claimed it his when he was nineteen. It still was. I had an arm wrapped around Zakky’s waist when we came in. His arms were crossed over his chest and his head was on my shoulder. He had his eyes closed. I kissed his cheek.

“Babe, Ashlie’s here.” He opened them and they looked so bright. I was so amazed by how just mentioning her name brought so much to him. He bounced over to her and hugged her.

“Hey sweetie.” She smiled kissing his cheek. That was something I never had. I guess it’s silly. I didn’t ever have friends in high school. Just fuck buddies and Zakky. His friends were nice to me, but only when it was convenient. Every gay guy must have his best female friend. I never had that. Actually, I didn’t ever want to be anyone’s friend when I was younger. I still didn’t. Friendships made you weak. You spent hours talking about your life. What was the point? I was the quiet, invisible whore at our school. Zakky was one of those too, only not the quiet and invisible part. He was part of the in crowd. He was mainstream whore, but that’s to be expected of him. He was fucked with a lot in middle school and up until his junior year by those popular kids. The price to become part of it again was to let the jocks use him as their little sex object. He obliged. We’d come to an agreement when that happened. He was so into being popular. That was who he was. I let him. You can’t say I’m a bad person.

“OMGG!” Zakky squealed. I shook my head and went to the kitchen to get some water. I couldn’t stand the logo of the popular. It never really went away. When he talked to me it wasn’t usually there, but put him with his Ashlie and prep central was our living room. Kyler came in and got a glass.

“Can I get some juice?” He asked rocking.

“Yeah. What kind do you want?”

“Um…I don’t know. I can’t…I don’t know. Grape?”

“Okay.” I took his glass and poured it for him. He smiled at me and sipped it.

“Thank you Eddie.” He said. I knew Kyler was the only person that ever thought that I was the only one good enough for his brother. He never wanted Zakky to be with someone else. I loved him for it. I never knew much about him. He was pretty much silent. I looked at him.

“So what’s your story?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Your life. What screwed you up?” I sat down across from him.

“Uh…”

“It’s okay.”

“My mom. She hit me a lot. And my stepdad Jeff?”

“Yeah?”

“He raped me and sold me to guys for sex. He made videos. I didn’t like it. It hurt.”

“Really?” I didn’t really know if I should believe him. He wasn’t right in the mind. Zakky walked in ruffling Ky’s hair as he passed him. “Hon, is that true?”

“Is what true?”

“Did Jeff really fuck him and get money from guys for selling Kyler’s body. And he made porn videos. And that his mom hit him?” Zakky dropped a glass which shattered and stared at me

“Yes.”

“How?’

“How what?”

“How do you know?”

“Because I was in one of them okay? I had to…to…to fuck him. Jeff made me. I walked in on it. I don’t know…” Zakky started sweeping up the glass. I took the broom. “He screamed and cried and begged for me to stop but every time I did…Jeff made it worse. I don’t know…” I glanced at Kyler who was now shaking and mumbling to himself. Zakky went to the cabinet and handed him two pills of Lithium. Kyler swallowed them. Zakky played with something. I didn’t know what.

“Daddy, your rents are here.” Aubren announced followed by the fucktards. I wanted to scream at them to go away. I hated that they still continued to fuck with Zakky. Tell him that he was fucked up. Bastards. He was their son.

Kyler’s POV
They were ghosts in my mind. Thomas and Reya. They came in and sat at the table. I wanted them to go away. They weren’t like other ghosts. I could just talk to normal ghosts. They were scary. They always wanted to tell me how I could have been their perfect kid if only my mother and Jeff hadn't messed everything up. I wasn’t as crazy as they thought. Zakky had talked to me about this cure for schizophrenia. I wanted to get it. I never had a bad case. It was a slow and acute case that nobody really minded. I just hated people hurting me. Motherfucker could still talk to me. He still told me things, but I could resist now. I couldn’t before but now I could!

“How are you doing?” Reya asked slowly and loudly.

“I’m mental not deaf and retarded.” I whispered at the table. “But I’m doing good. Zakky’s helping me.”

“Well Zakky can’t really do that now can he?” Thomas asked. “After all, he isn’t healthy himself. You really can’t be blamed for what you have. That’s all Janie and Liam’s gene’s and Janie and Jeff’s torment. But Zakky…he deserves this. He caused himself to get leukemia. He was the one who was gay. He was the one who’s a hermaphrodite. He’s the one that was bulimic.”

“I’m sorry.” Zakky whispered shrinking into Eddie’s arms. I wanted to help, but what could I do? Nothing. They’re scary. I stood up.

“You should stop.” I said leaving. I picked up the phone and dialed Addie’s phone number. Sean answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi. It’s Kyler. Can I please talk to Addie?”

“Hey. Sure.”

“Hey Kyler.” Addie said. “Ky, um, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Well I think I am.”

“Emily said you were cutting.”

“No. I’m not. I haven’t since before I got admitted.” I lied. I knew very well that I cut first thing this morning. I dreamt of what happened to me all through my life every night. How could I not? She couldn’t find out though.

“You swear?”

“Yeah. Did you know that your daughter’s a lesbian?”

“Our daughter. No. Fuck, how could she?”

“Honestly Addie, do you even care?”

“No. Maybe. I just had a plan for her.”

“Don’t. Let her live her life. You have no problem with gay and bi guys, why not lesbians?”

“I don’t have a problem with rainbow kids, but I don’t want my daughters to be one.” I hung up. This was my friend of a lot of years and she was homophobic toward her kids. Bitch. She was never right to me. Why did I ever like her? Emery walked in the house with a guy that he’d been spending a lot of time with. I smiled at them.

“Who’s this?” I asked.

“Uh, my, uh, friend, Devin.” He stuttered. Devin was gorgeous. I don’t mean to sound like a pedophile. I’m not. I would never do what Jeff and those other sick fucks did to me to anyone. Ever. But how can you not notice someone’s level of attractiveness? It’s something that God made you with. Devin had crystal blue eyes and blonde hair that was very skater like. His smile was adorable.

“Hi Devin.” I said sitting on the floor with my legs pulled to my chest.

“Devin, this is my “uncle” Kyler.” Emery said. Devin gasped.

“You mean the crazy, emo one?” He whispered.

“Yeah, but he’s freaking amazing. Best uncle ever I’d say.” Emery smiled at me.

Okay so that was the ch. sorry it took so long. i've been busy. comments plz!