Blood Soaked Black Rose

Aubren’s POV
I saw my brother talking to Kyler with his best friend Devin. Devin was my best friend too. He was always there for me and my brother. I loved him for it. I rested my head on my brother’s shoulder and closed my eyes. I opened them to the sound of Daddy sniffling. Our grandparents were following him. I didn’t like them. His parents were cruel. They didn’t like us. They said we shouldn’t even exist. That we’re just love children. That we don’t matter since our parents were together when they had us. The thing was they were married.
“Just leave me alone mom okay?” Daddy was saying. “I’m tired and I don’t feel like doing this.” I nudged Emery and took him outside. Devin followed.
“You’re grandparent’s aren’t nice.” He said.
“Really? You think so?” I said sarcastically.
“Shut up.” Devin mumbled.
“Sorry. We just hate them. Eddie’s parents are better. They’re really sweet to us. All of us.” Emery explained. I wanted to punch a wall, but knew that I was thirteen and lacked upper body strength. It’d just hurt. I kicked a rock that went flying and hit my grandparents windshield. It shattered in the way that doesn’t fall just makes it impossible to see out of. I smiled. Emery was laughing hard. The alarm was blaring. Daddy’s mom came out with her dicky husband.
“What the hell did you do to my car?” He asked running to it.
“Nothing.” Emery said defensively.
“Just kicked a rock that just so happen to his your car. It wasn’t like I meant to shatter something of yours.” I sneered. “You two mean to shatter Daddy’s heart.” They stared at me.
“What?” His mom asked.
“I love him okay? He’s so nice. So caring. Best father ever in my opinion. He loves us for us. He doesn’t expect us to be perfect which is a lot more than I can say for anyone else. He’s the best thing I ever had so fuck you bitches.” I snapped and jumped on my skateboard riding away fast. Emery and Devin following suit. I hated them. Why did they have to ruin happiness?
A Week Later
Eddie’s POV
Emery and Aubren were so quiet. I hated it. I hated if they talked or if they were silent. I hated it when they walked past me or I heard their names. I wasn’t their father. I was just some guy that lived with them. I was their stepfather. They should really be Emery and Aubren Carson-Lush not Emery and Aubrey Carson-Mathis. It hurt so much.
Aubren was playing with Krystal’s clothes he was supposed to be folding. I closed my eyes. I hated that I hadn't been there for my daughter. The duration of her being inside my beautiful husband, her birth, her first three years. It sucked. Matthew Lush had witnessed more of her life than I had. It sucked. She should be his kid. She was at his house every weekend. She called him her other Daddy. I hated it. The kids that I had been there for were his. He had been there for just as theirs much as Krystal, more actually. I hated him more than ever. He was always talking to Zakky. Making Zakky blush. Oh that made me mad. Making him smile. Making him laugh.
“Dammit, Aubren, just fold the damn shit up! By the way, you both are grounded!” I stood there glaring at them. I saw so much of Zakky and Matt in them. I hated myself.
“What’d Emery do?” Aubren asked glancing at Emery who was feeding his kitten and had just finished cleaning the litter box.
“He’s always screwing up.” I muttered and walked out of the room. Ashlie and Matt were here today. I walked in my room and saw the three of them snuggled together watching some movie. They looked so happy. Well, Zakky was asleep with his head resting on Ashlie’s boob and her arms around him. His legs were over Matt’s pelvic area. I bit my lip and looked at them.
“You want to lay down? I’m just leaving.” Matt said getting up. Ashlie looked at us.
“Mattie, stay.” She said.
“No. Nevin has a baseball game and Aiden is writing so much poetry that he wants people to read.” He was such a good father to the two boys. Things as trivial as a game or writing sent him packing. I was never there for Krystal’s elementary pageants or musicals or when she had a choir concert or volleyball game or swim meet. I never went to a single skate competition the boys had entered. I never did that for them. Zakky dealt with that. That was maternal shit. I had no time for it. Maybe I wasn’t a good father because of my opinion. No, definitely not. I was right. I sat on the bed.
“Okay, well bye.” I said. I leaned against the pillow and stroked Zakky’s cheek. He was so wonderful. He didn’t deserve being sick. A lot of his hair still remained, but he didn’t want anyone touching his hair. He was afraid it’d make it come out faster. Ashlie watched me.
“So what’s the deal with you guys?” She asked.
“Huh?”

“I don’t know. I can’t ever tell. You’re so unpredictable. It’s kinda annoying. I never know it when I come over, if I’m gonna find him depressed about you or something else or if he’s gonna be happy. What’s going on now?”
“Everything between us and Kryssi is cool. Ash, um, I know you don’t like me much, but um, I can’t deal with the twins not being mine anymore.” I quickly brushed a tear off my cheek. “I’m sorry. I know it’s my fault, but…” I kissed Zakky’s cheek and he moved slightly rolling off of Ashlie. I bit my lip. “I just hate it.” I whispered. Suddenly and surprisingly, Ashlie was hugging me.
“You’re the guy that helped raise them. They love you. You may not have made them, but you are their dad.” She said.
“I see why you’re Zakky’s best friend.” I laughed trying to hold back the tears. “You know the right thing to say.”
“Well I guess it comes naturally to a shrink’s daughter.” She smiled. I nodded.
“Do you hate me?’
“No. I never hated you really. I just didn’t see why you were using Zakky. You know I was friends with him since we were born.” She laughed. “Before then. Our mothers were best friends. So were our fathers. Anyway, they got pregnant at the same time. They went to classes together. They even went into labor at the same time. They had the same doctor and the same room. They were both in very easy, short labor that only lasted about five hours. Fast. We were together for so long…” She swallowed and looked at him then looked at me. Straight into my eyes. “If I tell you something, you promise you won’t be mad?”
“Sure.” I waited.
“Uh…I've always liked Zakky as more than a friend. It nearly killed me when he told me he was gay, but I didn’t spend to much time being upset. I love him. And you know his thing in high school…the thing that he had to do with to be back part of the popular crowd?” I nodded. He had to have sex with everyone in the popular crowd. He also had to be their whore for the rest of high school. I didn’t mind. I found comfort in watching him be so miserable to get what he wanted. I wanted him to get what he wanted, but I didn’t want him to just get it. That wouldn’t be fair.
“Well, he was my first, but you know I had to do it with him. I wanted to, but then against, I didn’t. And everyone in the group had to watch. Logan said things to him that implied that we did stuff, but it wasn’t true. I was a virgin up to that point. And, uh, we had sex like so much after that. And I wasn’t the one coming to him, but he wasn’t the one coming to me either. It was just what we did. Like how every time he’d be with you, you’d fuck him? Yeah…don’t be mad about it. Don’t tell him I told you.”
“How long did that last?” I asked.
“Uh…” She looked away. “Up until he met Mattie and Mattie pulled him out of being a whore.”
“Can you leave?” I asked. “I really want to go to sleep.”
“Yeah, sure.” She said and left. I laid down the think. This wasn’t what I had in mind at all. Why would my little baby fuck that filthy whore? How could he take her virginity? I couldn’t sleep. Zakky woke up and looked at me.
“Hey.” He smiled curling up to me.
“You had sex with Ashlie.”
“Yeah, baby you knew that.” He said.
“More than once.” I hissed.
“Sorry.” He whispered. “I just…we…um…I felt like I had to.” He finished.
“It’s okay.” I sighed. I was surprised at how apathetic I was. It didn’t bother me one bit. I guess it was because I cheated on him so much in his life that I didn’t mind that he fucked his best friend. It did bother me that he fucked Matthew. I knew it was because I knew that it meant something. I hated knowing that Zakky had feelings for anyone else. I looked at him. I loved how much he looked like a girl. I could go places with him and not have someone yell at us. Nobody ever really recognized that he wasn’t a chick. Was he? I knew that he told me he was biologically a girl. Cuz like everything inside him like his brain and shit was a girl, but he was a hermaphrodite. I loved him. I think a lot of what made me okay with being with him was what made me scared to be with him. I knew why I had hurt him so much. I never really knew if I was gay or not even though I was pretty sure. And if I was afraid since he looked so much like a female that I didn’t know. He was raised to think he was a boy. He only figured out the truth when he was like sixteen.
“What are you thinking about?” He asked staring into my eyes.
“You.” I smiled.
“What about me?”
“How much I love you.” I kissed him lovingly. He smiled. “Hey babe, um, can I tell you something?”
“Yeah what?” He sat up on the bed and looked at me. He reminded me so much of a little kid. I pulled him into my lap.
“I love you. I promise I’ll never hurt you again for as long as I live and maybe past that if I can. You’re so wonderful. You’ve taken me back more times than I’ve deserved.”

sorry it took so long. i've been busy. comments plz?