Blood Soaked Black Rose

Zakky’s POV
I snuggled into his chest. He so wonderful. I loved him so much. His words were so sweet. I kissed him gently. “Hey can I tell you something?”
“Yeah.”
“Promise that you won’t interrupt until I’m done.”
“Promise.” I closed my eyes taking a deep breath.
“Well I’ve been thinking about this for like, ever and ya know…” I pressed my lips together tightly.
“How long?” He asked when I didn’t say anything.
“Since I was seventeen.” I didn’t say anything for awhile.
“Go ahead. What is it?”
“Well, after I get over this. You know, this cancer and all, after I get better, I want to go ahead and do that thing.”
“What thing?”
“Surgery for becoming a woman. I mean I pretty much am, right? I have boobs even if they are practically nonexistent. And I have like womanly issues and all. All that’s keeping me from it is that stupid dick that does nothing. It gets in the way of things you know? And it’s not like you need it for your little pleasures. You don’t let it happen like that.” I bit my lip looking up at him for his reply. He stared at me for a few minutes.
“Say something.” I whispered.
“Well…I’m…Zakky, honey, I’m gay.”
“I know.” I held my breath. He sighed and pushed me out of his lap. He paced the room. I sat on the bed watching him.
“What about the kids?” He asked.
“I’ll tell them. They know. It’s not a secret. I did give birth. It was all over the news remember?” I sighed.
“Yeah.” He came over and took my hands pulling me up to my feet. “I say…I say if you want to do it, then go ahead. Are you gonna change your name?”
“I like Zakky.” I said.
“Okay. Then let’s go tell the kids.”
“Not just yet.” He said. He kissed me and we went to the living room.

A Month Later Krystal’s POV
I stared at Aiden who was mindlessly giggling. “Are you high?” I spat.
“No. I’m just in a really good mood! My art got into the show!” He smiled excitedly at me. I sighed. I was really trying to be happy for him, but Daddy was in the hospital. Things weren’t getting any better. He was going to be hospitalized for awhile.
“What’s your problem?” Emily asked glaring. She hadn't been to our house in forever. She wouldn’t talk to Kyler. I felt bad for her. She needed to know how amazing he was. He was more of a teenager than a thirty something year old.
“Uh, how about the fact that my father is in the hospital?” I got up and walked away. I was going home. I couldn’t take hanging out after school with these asses. Aiden ran to catch up with me.
“I didn’t know baby. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You mean that Mattie and Scotty didn’t tell you?’
“No.” I looked at him. He was so perfect. So beautiful. I let him hug me. I loved he feel of his arms around me.
“I’m gonna go home.” I told him leaning up to press my lips to his.
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I whispered and got in my car. I drove home in a haze. I was so glad that when I got home, the twins were at Nevin’s and Eddie was at the hospital. I went to Kyler’s room and opened the door after a few minutes of an internal battle. He was sitting on his bed with his back facing away from me, but I could see that he was cleaning five razors. His arms were dripping with blood. He kept sniffling and he was breathing heavily.
“Ky?” I asked. He jumped and looked at me.
"D-don’t tell anyone. I promise I-I won’t do it again.” He said. I could see the tears that were streaking down his face. I knew that he was just as messed up by Daddy’s cancer as me. I guess he was worse since his life had been shit and he was schizophrenic.
“I won’t. Um, actually I was wondering if I could, um, use your razors?” He stared at me. “You know, cuz I can’t take it anymore and I want to know if it works.”
“It works.” He moved aside on his bed and I sat down next to him. “But you have to be careful. You have to be sanitary about it too.”
“Okay.”
“Clean it every day. Every time, clean the razor.”
“Kay.” I pushed up the sleeve of my pale purple shirt. Shaking, I lowered the metal to my skin. I dragged it across, flinching at the ripping sound it made. I made ten cuts and put the razor down. Kyler immediately started vigorously sanitizing.
“You can’t just put it down.” He hissed.
“Sorry.” I leaned against him. “Okay, so I know that you had like this shitty life. What made it shitty?” I asked.
“Uh, my mom never wanted me. The only reason I didn’t die was because Thomas took care of me. My mom had a boyfriend named Jeff. When I was just six I think it was, he raped me and then made me into a child porn star. He got money from guys who came and sexed me up. It hurt really bad. And one time Jeff made Zakky rape me cuz he walked in. Zakky never forgave himself. Then um, Jeff married my mom. That made things worse. Then I lived with my dad and Will. Will, you know him. He comes by a lot. I killed my dad cuz he was hitting me cuz he was drunk all the time. He was an alcoholic see. And he relapsed when I got diagnosed with schizophrenia. My mom hit me a lot. The voices wouldn’t shut up. When they got to a certain point, I would have no control.” He looked at his guitar. “I don’t want to lose Zakky.” I said as a new batch of tears ran down his face.
“Me either.” I whispered. I hugged Kyler. He hadn't changed since he was eighteen. He still looked the same. It was weird. Eddie said it was probably because of the lithium, but it didn’t think so. There was something about him that was different from most people. Maybe it was the way he was so forgiving. He respected people’s opinions and didn’t care what people thought about his.
“Krys?” I heard Eddie call. I jumped and Kyler calmly handed me one of him many FFTL hoodies. I smiled thankfully and kissed his cheek. I ran out of his room and found Eddie looking exhausted on the couch.
“Yeah?” I asked cautiously entering the room. I wondered by the way he looked at me if he could somehow smelled the rusty, iron scent of my blood.
“I was just making sure you were still here and hadn't run off with that boy.” He made a disgusted face. I didn’t see what the big deal was that I was in love with Aiden Lush as he was now. Daddy didn’t care. Of course Eddie was far from Daddy. Eddie couldn’t even talk. He ran off to marry Daddy hadn't he?
“Why does it matter?” I whispered.
“I don’t know. You shouldn’t rush things.” I nodded and sat down on the couch. “What did you do all afternoon?”
“Hung out with Kyler.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Good.” I lied. I knew how bad of condition he was in, but I was in that condition now. I felt weak. I didn’t even have a live time worth of rape and molestation behind me to escape from, just my father’s curable cancer. I sighed. “How’s he doing?”
“Oh, uh, he’s improving.” He muttered.
“That’s good.”
“Where are the twins?”
“Devin’s.” I looked at the clock. “Do you mind if I call Aiden and see if he wants to go to a movie or something?”
“Go ahead.” He smiled kissing the top of my head. “And hey, Zakky’s gonna be fine. Just remember that.” I nodded hoping with all my heart that were true.
I picked up the phone and sat on our front porch swing. I dialed Aiden’s number. Nevin answered. “Hello?”
“Nevin, let me speak with Aiden.” I said trying to keep my voice steady.
“Okay. Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Let me speak to my goddamn boyfriend.” I said.
“Sorry. I was only trying to….never mind. Here.”
“What’s up?” Aiden’s sunny voice warmed my soul. I smiled.
“Nothing. Um, you feel like a movie?”
“Uh, sure. Which one?”
“How about the new slasher movie where that whore, Miley Cirus, gets slaughtered by the ghost.”
“I don’t like blood.” Aiden mumbled.
“What kind of skater are you?” I said jokingly.
"A careful one who hates blood. How about that new comedy?” He asked.
“Sure, whatever.” I moved my fingers a lot the hoodie Kyler gave to me. I knew that he had soaked this jacket with so much blood that it was impossible to fade the black. He wore it the last time he’d tried to die.
“You sure you’re okay?” He asked.
“Yeah. I’ll meet you at your house.”
“Okay.” I hung up holding myself. How could I get through this?