Blood Soaked Black Rose

Zakky’s POV
A Week Later
I hated the way summer with a passion now. I used to love. I used to love how warm it was. Eddie and I would go to the beach and swim. I missed him so much. Why? Why had my wonderful life have to become the pitiful excuse I had now? Everyone seemed so uncomfortable around me except for my siblings. They didn’t care that I was an emotional wreck. I had become that way because of Eddie. Eddie...I wish I had never met him. If I had never met him, then things would be okay. I wouldn’t be here right now in this sorry excuse for a life. I wouldn’t have been shunned by my family so early. My friends wouldn’t even talk to me for more than five minutes now because I was so fucked. I sat on the couch playing with my bracelet wondering what was going to happen when Kryssi started crying. I felt like crying too. I went to her room and picked her up. She quickly quieted and stared at me with those big green eyes. She was so perfect. She was soon asleep and in my lap. I smiled running my fingers through her thin hair. I picked up my laptop and got on. I noticed that someone was looking for a place to stay. I clicked on the bulletin and gasped. Matthew Lush. My idol. I quickly sent him a message. He sent me back one and I smiled. He was coming to check it out. Maybe I could get over my ass of an ex, but was Eddie really my ex yet?

A Month Later
Matthew and I hit it off. He was so cool! Just like I gathered from the emails and phone calls we shared. He was leaning against the wall watching me cook. “I love that you’re vegan.” He smiled.
“Yeah. Well that’s kinda from your influence.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I was vegetarian for awhile like my brother, but I’m vegan now.” He smiled and came over to me.
“That’s always nice.” He looked at me. I looked up. Our faces were inches apart. He leaned in and his soft lips pressed against mine. It lasted for five minutes, but when it was over, I missed it and instantly felt a pang of guilt. Did I just cheat on Eddie with my idol? No…Eddie hated me. He was out doing random people. I knew that much from his parents.
“Wow.” I breathed and turned back to the food which burned a little.
“So, what do you say you get a babysitter and I take you out?”
“Uh, I'm busy. I work nights with random modeling shoots.”
“Oh…okay. Well, lunch tomorrow?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“It’s a date.”
“Really? A date?”
“You’re cute and really sweet.” He smiled. “I want to get to know you.” He tilted his head to the side and pouted adorably.
“Okay, but promise not to hate me.”
“I don’t hate people.”
“Really?”
“Well except for homophobes and people that like to kill animals and be mean to them.” I giggled. Kryssi crawled to the kitchen.
“Up!’
“Sorry.” I muttered and picked her up.
“She’s so adorable you know?”
“Yeah.” He laid his head on my shoulder.
“I love her.” He whispered in my ear.
“I love her too.”
“I know. She’s your daughter after all.”
“Yeah. So what happened to her dad?”
“Uh…he got mad and called me a bunch of horrible things. He’s divorcing me or something, but we’re not together.”
“He’s so mean. Major jerk. Gosh, why would he leave you and his little baby? She’s so adorable. Has he seen her?”
“No.” He knew about what happened. I can’t even count how many times I called his show or him just to talk. He knew me before he knew me if that made any sense, I’m surprised. We ate quietly. Kryssi randomly squealing. I smiled at my hopefully soon to be boyfriend. I needed someone right now.

As soon as I got Kryssi to bed, I kissed Matthew bye and went to my job. I hated all my jobs. I hated them with a passion. Why did I resort to using my body when I was perfectly smart? I had a great personality, but I guess that doesn’t pay as much. At least I hadn't gone to being a male whore. I couldn’t do that no matter how much money I could make. I went into the strip club and got ready. My boss was yelling about us me having to go on in five minutes. I nodded and went out, sickened by myself. I never thought I could possibly hate myself more than I did when I got knocked up, but I did. It sickened me to think that one day my baby could discover that her daddy was a stripper. Guys begged me to get with them, but I refused silently. I wasn’t allowed to talk. I had to use my body to make my money. Guys touching me. Girls touching me. It was so sickening. People shoving money in my underwear. I sighed. A few hours later I was free to go home. I counted the tips in my car. Three-hundred dollars…shit. That was better than usual. I drove home. Matthew was laying on my bed when I got home. He smiled at me,
“How was work?”
“Okay.”
“Oh, okay.” I smiled.
“Do you want me to go sleep on the couch?”
“No. I don’t mind sharing a bed.” He scooted over I fell asleep as soon my head hit the pillow only to be awakened what seemed like a second later to Matthew’s passionate kiss. I smiled at him.
“It's one. I called her grandparents. You ready for our date?”
“Are you kidding? I just woke up.”
“Get ready.” He said and pulled me to my feet. I quickly got ready and we left. “You look hot.” He noted as we walked holding hands through the afternoon.
“Thanks. You don’t look to bad either.”
“Thanks.” He kissed my cheek. We went to the park and got on the swings. Matthew pushed me. I laughed and then I pushed him on the swing. We went and played slide. He kissed me sweetly against a tree.
“You want to get something to eat now?” He asked.
“Aw, can’t we just make out all day?”
“I’m hungry.”
“Okay.” I let him take me to a restaurant. We sat in a booth and talked as we waited for our food.
“You know, I think you’re easy to fall in love with.” He said taking my hand. I smiled and kissed him. “How would you like to be official?”
“Huh! You mean it?”
“Of course!”
“Aw, I love you!”
“Love you too.” We had a makeout session, forgetting about our food.

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