My Submission Is Your Addiction

My mom had to drop me off before she went to work, before the friggin’ sun comes up, so Jon’s Grandma let me in, and I fell back asleep on the living room couch. I woke up a few hours later and stretched, not opening my eyes. My feet were touching something warm, and I squinted my eyes open to see Jon sitting at the other end of the couch staring at the TV.

“Hey,” I spoke, sitting up.

“Hey,” He returned, turning towards me, “The couch comfortable enough?”

I smiled, “You’ve slept on the futon in my room. This is much more accommodating.”

“True,” He nodded.

“Why aren’t you at school?” I squinted.

“I’m about to go get ready, I normally wake up and watch some TV while I eat my breakfast before changing.”

I nodded, “Nice to know you’re a morning person.”

“I didn’t used to be,” He smirked shaking his head. James came down the steps a few minutes later. He was dressed in his boxers with his hair fluffed up every which way. He squinted at the couch for a second before sluggishly making his way to the kitchen.

“I used to be like that.” Jon laughed, and I was quiet staring at the entry way where James had disappeared.

“I gotta go get ready,” Jon spoke standing up and handing me the remote, “You need anything?”

I shook my head wordlessly, sliding back down on the couch. I closed my eyes and feigned sleep when I heard Jon make his way back down the stairs. I kept my eyes closed as I heard more footsteps, but I froze when I felt hot breath on my cheek. I willed myself to stay still.

“Shouldn’t have tried to fight it.” A spine tingling voice whispered, and I felt a hand more to the knee of my left leg, it squeezed slightly, and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from sucking in a breath. The hand moved, and I remained still, holding my breath.

I finally opened my eyes when I heard a few pairs of footsteps fade further away until the front door opened and closed. I opened my eyes slowly, and I didn’t hear or see anything. I laid still for a few moments before pulling myself up and sliding my feet around until they rested on the floor. I picked up the boot that was laying by the couch, and I slid it on my left leg, pulling the straps tight and grabbing my crutches before pushing myself up.

“Do you need anything, Dear?” A voice rang, and I glanced up to see Jon’s grandma had moved into the entry way leading to the kitchen.

“No,” I shook my head giving her a small smile, “I was just going to go up and lay down in Jon’s room.”

“Can you make it up the stairs?” She asked concerned.

“Yeah, my room is on the second floor of our house.” I nodded, not mentioning that I hadn’t actually been up to my room since I’d left the hospital.

“Alright, yell, if you need anything.” With that she turned back into the kitchen. I managed to use the stairwell and my crutches to get me up the stairs, and after that walking on the level floor of the hallway was easy. I turned the knob to Jon’s room and went inside quietly. The closet doors were slid open, and the light was on. I flipped off the light, closing the door behind me and sitting at his desk. I moved around the mouse to his computer, but the login screen came up and you needed a password. I tried a few random things and none of them worked. Finally, I gave up and started looking through his desk drawers instead. I found about six packs of gum, fifty thousand writing utensils and a few old yearbooks. I gave up on that, too.

I moved to sit on his bed and decided to go through his nightstands instead. I felt something looking at me, and I turned quickly, jumping when I met two pairs of eyes.

“I hate cats.” I snapped staring at Dylan and Clover sitting on Jon’s bed, they kept staring, and I watched them waiting for them to break eye contact or at least blink. They didn’t. I decided to ignore them and turned back towards his nightstand pulling open the drawer. I found a pack of tissues, more gum, a box of condoms, and a deck of uno cards, I glanced back at the cats over my shoulder, and they continued watching me.

“Don’t give me that look,” I mumbled turning back to the drawer and shutting it. Gosh, it would be a lot more fun to raid his room if he had anything hidden in here. I slid my hand under the mattress and got excited when I felt something. I closed my hand around it and pulled it out staring at it eagerly. A pocket knife. I squinted, the only thing he has hidden is a pocket knife? What the fuck? I slid it back under the mattress and laid back on his bed closing my eyes and counting as fast as I could to one million, I was asleep before I hit four hundred.

…

I woke up slowly, and I felt incredibly congested. I opened my eyes to see a big grey thing in front of my face and upon further inspection, it was one of Jon’s cats.

“I see you’ve warmed up to my cats,” I heard, and I turned to see Jon sitting at his desk on his computer.

“They warmed up to me,” I mumbled clearing my throat, “Any my sinuses don’t agree.” I added.

He laughed, “You’ll be immune to them in no time.”

I groaned unhappily, rolling away from them, “When did you get home?”

“About half an hour ago. Everyone went out to eat, but they didn’t want to wake you, so I offered to stay behind.”

“How kind of you,” I smirked, “And how trusting of your parents.”

“Eh,” He shrugged, “Mom likes to pretend that I don’t know what the three letter ‘s’ word is, and dad bought me my first condoms when I was 15, sat them on my bed, and we’ve never spoken of it.”

I laughed, “Well, better safe than sorry.” I shrugged. He swiveled the chair around to look at me.

“What is the three letter ‘s’ word, anyway?” I squinted, trying to keep the corners of my lips from curling up.

“It’s really hard to explain without visual aids,” Jon shrugged standing up, “It’s really best if I just showed you.”

…

I was laying on my back next to Jon, and I felt the same feeling that I was being watched.

“Oh, god, your cats!” I squeaked slipping over and clinging to him as I spotted one of them walking up to the head of the bed. He laughed, “I think they’ll be okay, I’m pretty sure they’re kitty lovers anyway.” He shrugged. I moved back a little bit squinting at him, “Kitty lovers?”

“Yes, they’re kitties, and they’re in love.” He spoke wiggling his eyebrows.

“Nice pillow talk, Walker, I’m so hot for you right now.” I spoke in a monotone, laying back flat.

“Damn right,” Jon nodded, “and don’t forget it.”

I could hear the smile in his voice, and I was about to respond when we heard a grinding sound and felt the vibration of the garage door going up on the floor below.

I stood up quickly, and groaned, sitting back onto the bed realizing, I didn’t have my boot on. I reached for my clothes from the floor and we both quickly got back into what we’d been wearing. Jon returned to his spot at the desk, and I pulled the pillows up behind me and flattened the sheets under me. I heard the noise of his computer logging him back on, and he quickly opened the web browser and opened up itunes.

I pushed my hair back and parted it with my fingers, brushing them through it quickly trying to get it to lay right. Jon stuck his hand under his desk and pulled it back out with a can a Lysol, spraying it in the direction of the bed. I started laughing before I inhaled a bit and coughed instead.

“Sorry,” He laughed.

“You’re prepared.” I raised my eyebrows, “I would’ve just locked the door.” I shrugged.

“Yeah, well, you don’t live with your grandparents.”

“Touche.” I nodded, pursing my lips. A few minutes later we heard footsteps on the stairs and Jon clicked the play button on itunes, humming along softly. The door pushed open and Mr. Walker was standing there, “We brought you guys home some food, do you want it up here or do you want me to put it in the fridge?”

“Up here is fine,” Jon shrugged scooting some books over on the desk so his dad could put it down. I saw something on the ground out of the corner of my eye, and I glanced over putting a hand over my mouth when I saw it was the used condom.

“You feeling better?” Jon’s dad asked turning towards the bed, and I’m assuming Jon saw it, too as he stood up and walked over, casually settling his foot over it, as he handed me a to go box.

“Yeah,” I spoke quickly, “I feel a lot better.” I nodded.

“Alright,” He spoke, “Let me know if you’re still hungry,” With that he was gone, and I looked at Jon nodded.

“Nice save, I’m impressed.”

“How the hell did we leave that there?” He spoke wide eyed, and I laughed, “At least we were clothed.”

…

I was back at my house, and I was staying in the living room. Daniel came downstairs and sat in the chair next to me.

“That’s not gonna get you out of this,” He spoke, motioning towards my leg.

“What?” I squinted.

“You’re leg,” He shrugged, “it won’t stop what you’ve got coming to you.”

I rolled my eyes and tried to think of a new way to fix this. Running away won’t work. Fighting won’t work. Police? Too much. Before I could think of anything else, he spoke again.

“And wouldn’t Jon like to know how faithful you have been to him.” He smiled, “Or haven’t been.”

A lightbulb went off in my head. Jon. I could tell Jon, and he’ll…do what? What on earth would Jon possibly do, “We’re just sleeping around,” I spoke aloud as the fact hit.

“I’m not so sure if I believe that,” He sighed before standing up and disappearing upstairs.

That’s when it sunk in. This isn’t going to stop. I don’t know how I could make it stop. I can’t defend myself against these guys. I could tell someone, but what is that going to do? If I tell any of my friends they get the police involved. If I tell Jon, then he…what? What would he do? Stop sleeping with me because there’s too much emotional baggage? Even if he liked me, there’s no way in hell that he could get me out of this mess. I closed my eyes and laid down blocking the situation out of my mind. The next day, mom was sick. Since she stayed home, I also, stayed home. I moved around the house a lot and let her stay in bed.
“You don’t have to do that, Dale, your leg is probably sore.” She sighed as I brought her some advil and a glass of water.

“My leg is fine. I don’t even use it with the crutches.” I dismissed.

“When do you want to go back to school?” She asked.

“Whenever,” I shrugged, “I’m able to walk fine on the crutches.”

She sighed, “Well, if you’re up to it in the morning, I’ll take you in tomorrow, but if you are feeling bad in the middle of the day, come back home, and I’ll call the school.”
“Alright,” I sighed. Oddly enough, I missed school. Not so much the work, but the fact that when I wasn’t there I was sitting on a couch or a bed all day.