Innocently Guilty

I woke up in a daze. Why did I feel so sick? What happened? The last thing I could honestly remember was being knocked out at the beach. Occasionally a blurred memory would show itself but it made me all confused. I got up and barfed into the toilet. I groaned and looked to see if possibly, Jeremy would hear and come. Nothing.

I frowned and knocked on his door. No answer. I opened it and his bed was empty. I walked around the suite, calling his name. I was alone. I looked a note on the fridge. It was from Jeremy. I snatched it up quickly and read it.

He had to catch a breather before I woke up? I must have done something really bad. What day was it? I looked at the calendar, and felt my heart drop. Tonight was the night Jack was coming. I gulped and ran to my room, getting on my laptop and snatching my phone from the floor.

There were no messages on my laptop, but my phone had one missed call. I picked it up slowly and went to play the message.

“Hey sexy bitch. Just wanted to let you know I’ll be in tonight, so I figured we could meet up at your old house. It’s empty, right? I have the address, don’t worry. Love you, bye babe,” Jack made the sound of a kiss, and ended the message.

I began to feel more scared than before. What do I do? What had I done? Get a grip on yourself, Sophie. When were you to ever be a pussy? Never, so grow a pair.

I smiled then went through my options. If I completely avoided him, he would just come here. I couldn’t let my Dad know about this. I didn’t want anyone to find out about this. Then I thought of Jeremy. He knew, but he didn’t know for sure. I could tell him I told him not to come after I got rid of him. How are you going to get rid of him?

I hit my bed in frustration, desperately thinking. Relax, girl. Just go there, stand up for yourself, and tell him you won’t be having se. Tell him he must go or you will call the cops. Yeah, that’ll work. I smiled and started to think of what I would say. A speech was formulating in my mind as I heard the door open and close.

I didn’t move from where I was, my face was stone white. No, Jack said he’d get here tonight, not in the afternoon. I relaxed, and felt color return to my face. I opened up my laptop and began to write my speech down on Word. When my thoughts were so crazy, it was good to remember what you said.

A light knock came from my door I looked up and yelled a response. Jeremy walked in, cautiously leaning against the door.

“Feeling good?” Jeremy asked, looking me over.

“Peachy,” I mumbled, though it wasn’t harsh. I looked up smiling, and he relaxed a little.

“What you doing?” He walked over, sitting on the end of my bed, gazing at my laptop.
“Oh just an essay for school. Boring summer work,” I said obviously not paying attention to him, which made him a little angry. I chuckled inside.

“Oh well, I hope your not doing it later on tonight,” he said. I looked up my heart freezing. Why did he say doing it? I calmed myself down, knowing he meant my “work”.

“Oh no, why?” I went back to not looking at him, typing a bunch of random letters so he wouldn’t get suspicious.

“Oh, well because the adults aren’t here I figured we could… sorta… go on a date… I mean as friends. Just go out, eat, see a movie, just have fun… like friends,” he stumbled out, running a hand through his hair.

“Lord, and I thought you were slick with the ladies. Guess I was wrong.” He smirked and leaned over my laptop kissing me. I smiled when he let go, and he got up, walking to the bathroom to go to his room.

“So we shall leave at eight?” He asked before leaving, and I frowned. He stopped walking and questioned my look.

“Er… about that. I actually am sleeping over at… Lauren’s. We never had a real sleep over, and her parents really want to see me, and I already agreed, and they are making this huge dinner,” I rambled on watching his soft face crumble before my eyes. He quickly recovered, or so he put on.

“Oh, that’s fine. Have fun! I’ll just invite another friend,’ he said smiling. I gave him a look.

“A male friend, no?” I asked eyeing him. I had become very jealous, but something more important had to be done tonight.

“I don’t have any “male” friends after what you did. No, I think I’ll just bring a girl from school who has been crushing on me for the past two years,” he said walking out a I growled. I began to write again, planning my whole speech to Jack.

Around seven o’clock I heard the shower going, Jeremy getting ready for his date. I glared for a second, until my phone ringed into my ears. I picked it up, answering it without looking to see who it was.

“Hey, sexy,” Jack sang over the phone. His voice still made me melt, though I didn’t want it too. I gulped, and cleared my throat.

“Hey,” I said, finishing my speech, re-reading it repeatedly.

“I’ll be there in an hour, meet you there, ok?” He asked slurring over the phone. I felt myself become turned on a little, but then I thought of how scared I was.

Okay, babe. See you in an hour,” she hadn’t heard the shower turn off as she said those words a little too loud. She heard a door slam shut, and knew Jeremy heard.

She began to feel bad, but then thought of how Jeremy was her stepbrother. It was looked down upon to be with a sibling. What was I doing? We were just simply turned on by each others bodies. There couldn’t have been any actual feelings.

I set my laptop down, leaving my speech popped up and quickly grabbed a piece of notebook paper and a pencil. It was cliché to go and write a note, but it’s what I had. I scribbled down a quick message and folded it up.

I walked into the bathroom, eyeing his wallet on the counter. I quickly opened it up sticking the note in between two twenties. I set it back down and a few seconds later he walked in, glaring when he saw me. He quickly avoided me, stepping in front of the foggy mirror, as it cleared.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your “babe”,” he snapped, turning and giving me a look. I fell under his gaze, feeling hurt and guilty.

He looked amazing. He wore black skinnys, a white shirt, with a black vest and a red tie. The white shirt clung so nicely to his chest all I could think of was to run my hand down it.

“That was Lauren,” I said leaning against the wall. I watched his face fall, obviously feeling guilty.

“Oh I am so sorry, Sophie. It’s just… I was just upset that you couldn’t come,” he mumbled, moving closer, hands on the wall next to my head. I took a deep breath as he leaned in, and then pushed him away.

“No, you accuse me while your going out with someone else. Forget you,” I said pushing him away, walking into my room, and locking the doors. I was not mad about that, but that I did like him past his body, I think. But it wasn’t good, our relationship as siblings ruined that. Maybe meeting Jack wouldn’t be all bad. Maybe seeing him in person would… would start a spark.

I threw on a pair of sweats and left, leaving everything but the speech and myself in my head. Maybe the speech would not be necessary, because maybe I won’t be sad. Maybe I will actually love him. One thing I knew, was that there wee too many maybes’.