Innocently Guilty

Hearts_drug: Baby how you holding up?

Desired.One.: Eh. I am all right! I am just missing you!

Hearts_drug: I miss you more!! -Kisses-

Desired.One.: Aw <3!! -Kisses back-

Hearts_drug : I can't wait to meet you in real life. Meeting you over the Internet has been the best thing that ever happened to me.

I hesitated in answering. Didn't teachers always teach us to back away from this talk? They would say that there are creepers out there. Naww, Jack was different. In addition, it is not going to happen to me.

Desired.One. : Yeah, hon. The fun we can have together!

Hearts_drug : I'm mad that man entered you first. >:[ It was suppose to be me!!

Wait...what? Jack planned on.... Wow, that makes me feel special! He is so gorgeous. To feel him against me and in me was amazing! Shit! I am horny now!

Desired.One. : His penis was only in me for about a minute. Do not think he popped my cherry! It is still yours.

Hearts_drug : Oh baby. I cannot wait to feel your breast on me. Oh and my dick in your mouth. Having your pussy on me. We need to meet soon.

I started to feel awkward and even nervous too. I felt like I would be caught and get in trouble. I quivered a bit. I started to type something but then deleted it. I do not want to seem like a baby or anything.

Desired.One. : Mm. So cannot wait to give you head. It has been driving me crazy that I have not been able to.

I bit my tongue and looked around my dark room. Nothing. Paranoia.

Hearts_drug : Oh god baby! You want to cyber? -leans up on you and removes your shirt."

I felt weird. Yeah we have done it before. Even show some things over the web cam. Occasional dirty pictures would be sent to our phones. It was probably the shock from today.

Desired.One. : Aw baby. I am tired. Ya know...long day! -Kisses-. Night babe!

Hearts_drug : -pouts- Ok, Hun!! Tomorrow! <3

With that, I signed off. I shut my laptop and set it on my night table. I laid down attempting to sleep. After a futile fifteen minutes, I sat up. I walked over to my balcony and slid the door open allowing the fresh Florida breeze over come me. I padded my bare feet onto the balcony closing my eyes. After three minutes, I opened them and took a seat on a comfortable chair. The outside helped me think.

So mom was in Nevada for six months. I am now stuck here for six months...if everything turned out how it was suppose to. There was school, work, then and my social life. I figure me and Lauren are going to a bar tomorrow…or a club. Each was normal for us. I started to go through my past thinking of the divorce, me living with mom, me starting to change. Me being a quiet, shy girl who thought cuss words were a sin. Now, since four months, I have made tons of friends. I swear regularly. I have even got myself a boyfriend. That night I met him was...interesting. I happened to run that night through my mind a lot. Why not remember now?

I remember I was online talking in a chat room. That night my mom and I had fought and I felt like disobeying one of her rules. Do not talk to strangers. She slept with strangers...I can talk with strangers. Therefore, I entered a chat room that had fifteen people in it. I started chatting it up with several people. I lied about how I looked and things I did. People started to get interested. One in particular. He IMed me in a private IM. I started to talk with him only, dropping out of the chat. He said he really liked me. After talking with him for three hours, he asked me out. Seeing I was so shy and never had a boyfriend, I said yes. The following day I went shopping for clothes I said I wore to the people over line. I was just going in Hot Topic when a girl from school, Lauren came up to me. She did not dress the "emo/scene" style but she was def. into it. She quickly became a friend and got me into cussing. After buying all my stuff, I went home and changed into it. Jack, the boy's name, had said most couples’s online use web cam. I had bought that to. Once seeing him I knew I fell for him. With my new look, but usual look for him, he fell for me too. Therefore, for four months my life has changed. My mom noticed my difference but grew use to it quickly. The booze helping her.

After my brilliant, Jack thought I felt the presence, as if I was being watched. I opened my closed eyes, and snapped my head around throwing my fist in the air. My arm was then caught in mid air. I stood dumbfounded as the owner of the hand came out on the balcony. Jeremy.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked defensively snatching my hand from his grasp.

"I heard a laptop slamming and a door sliding." Jeremy spoke back now sitting on the other lounge chair.

"And." I still did not understand why. So he heard some noise.

"Idk. I was curious. Oh...yeah and, sorry about earlier...." he said waving his hands.

I thought for a second then laughed." Sorry that I embarrassed your Asses?" I laughed more. He looked at me.

"Ha! I don't find lies embarrassing." I stopped laughing and leaned against the pole. He continued to stare at me.

"I didn't lie. I have been…" I whispered. Then my voice rose. “Do you even know why I'm here?" He looked down for a second. "I thought not."

"Can... you tell me?" The stepbrother of mine was so weird. He could be caring or a total jackass. "Fine, hope your innocent ears can handle it." He stared and waited. I cleared my throat.

"My mother has been a wreck since the divorce. She has been meeting random guys and sleeping with them. Right across from my room. Occasionally one would flirt with me. I could dodge it. I learned to avoid. I learned to accept my mother's routines. Four times a week a new guy. Have you ever been forced to listen to your mom fuck all the time? To hear them moan, and rock the bed." He sat there calmly. But I could tell when he fixed his position...uncomfortable." Yeah so last night the usual came. They, my mom and her date, came home drunk. I had to fall asleep to there sex. I woke up and did the usual. Was just like any other guy, right? The guy was still there, my Mom in the kitchen. After a few minutes, I left to go shower. Came out, and heard moans, crying, and screams. I step over to my Mother's door, and crack it open. Beer bottles everywhere. What else do I see? I see my Mom and the dude naked on her bed. Her arms pinned down. It was obviously against her own will...my Mom was being raped." He gripped his chair. I smiled knowing I got him. Nevertheless, wait until the rest of the news. "Oh so I run in of course going to help her. She raised me, even if not perfectly. I went to slap the dude. Not a very smart idea seeing he was huge. He saw me and shoved me next to my mom. He rejected her quickly and ripped off my towel, then raped me. I admit it was painful... even if only for a minute or so. Then Mom hit him over the head with two beer bottles. So... that is why I am here. Once again, I wasn't lying," I ended letting the chirping of crickets and the cars soft zoom fill the air. Jeremy looked white.

"I didn't know...I...wow... sorry...uhm..." He sputtered out in front of me.

"It's alright. Just don't pick on me...or Davy," I say thinking of my new friend and his bullying problems.

"Of course...of course..." Jeremy looked up at me. Were his eyes actually...glistening. Was he going to cry? Oh, I hope not.

"I didn't ruin your night did I?" I asked unsure what to do. Jeremy then got up and hugged me. I was shocked so I just stood there.

"No, no you didn't. So, if I am right your 16. Well seeing I am 17, and a stepbrother I see it only fit that I take care of you. No one will harm you again," he said smiling. I just stared dumbfounded. What the fuck? This guy can change quickly. It did make me feel better that someone cared who was not a parent. I never knew what it felt like to have a brother. My friendship with Lauren was sisterly like. But if this was the feeling of having a brother...I didn't mind it. Some things came out of this day.

Jack and my relationship have progressed farther. I have moved into my new current house. I have made a new friend. I got a relationship with my older stepbrother. I lost my mom for six months. I was raped for a little while. I do not know if this day was on the higher scale of one through ten, ten being good. Maybe tomorrow will be better.