You Promised You Wouldn't Leave My Side But You Did

“Ronnie you have to stop mourning her death.” Omar told me with a comforting pat on the back “we have a band to keep together.” He told me with a shy smile. I sat on the couch, head in hands.

It’s been three months since Juliet committed suicide. I still hadn’t gotten over her. She was the love of my life. Or so I thought. Max rolled his eyes at me.
“I loved her like a sister too Ronnie it wasn’t just you that was affected her death.” Max sent daggers at me while he was talking. I knew I wasn’t the only one but she meant the most to me, she was my life. Max rolled his eyes and opened his mouth. “Look we will just have to practices without Ronnie today guys.” I frowned at him as sat to drown in my own self pity. I thought about how she promised that she would be okay... But how is coming home to her dead okay? It wasn’t was it? I know your probably thinking isn’t three months enough to get over someone? But for me it wasn’t, I wanted to know why she left me. Why she committed suicide why my life was so fucked up. I was fucked up because I was on drugs but then we decided to quit together me and Juliet. We would do it together, support each other.

But there was still the constant question in my head as to why she committed suicide... if it was those strange phone calls she was getting from those strange people or if it was something else completely different. I didn’t get it she seemed happy. A little pissed off because we left her with our bills and stuff but she wasn’t depressed. I’d seen her depressed and she was defiantly not that, so if she wasn’t depressed and she was happy for the most part why did she do what she did why didn’t she wait for me to come home. Now she is on the waiting list for an autopsy.

If you are wondering why she is getting an autopsy it’s because I explained the phone calls Juliet was getting and how she thought she was going crazy that things kept appearing and disappearing that things that were once broken were now fixed like nothing had never happened. They said that they would take her into the lap and do an autopsy on her body looking for anything out of the ordinary. Something to detune if it was her telling herself to do it or something else.
“Ronnie.” I small voice called from Omar’s kitchen. A little girl came running out; Omar hadn’t told us of her. She was the most adorable little thing. Her name was Joy she had blue eyes that changed to green with the weather and long brown hair. “Ronnie...” her expression saddened and she touched my cheek. “What’s the matter Ronnie?” she asked me talking her hand off my face and putting it on her own.
‘”Missing Juliet.” I told her with a weak smile. She cocked her head to the side.
“Who is Juliet?” she asked smiling up at me. Tears threatened to show themselves.
“Juliet is my girlfriend... or she was.” I smiled at the five year old sitting in my lap. She knew what I meant and I could tell that by the smile on her face.
“What did she look like?” Joy asked me her smile grew with the seconds.
“She was beautiful, she had brown hair and the most amazing green eyes.” I said picturing me and Juliet sitting on the Sofa playing around. “But she isn’t here now.” I said sadly.
“What do you mean Ronnie?” Joy asked... god she reminded me of Juliet.
“She has gone to a better place now... we aren’t going to ever see her again.” Tears were now running down my cheeks. She wiped them away with her little hands and gave me a reassuring smile.
“Does that mean she is dead Ronnie?” she asked me. I nodded; she made a sad face and wrapped her little arms around me. “I’m sorry Ronnie.” She said wiping more of the tears away from my face. “Maybe there will be someone else?” she asked. She was a smart little kid.

Omar walked over and sat next to me, they had just finished practicing Not Good Enough for Truth in Cliché. It was written for Juliet. Not that she played Russian roulette. But it seemed like it. How the mob was playing with her head and so on.
“Are you okay?” he questioned.
“Fine.” I wasn’t angry with him because he somehow had a point. I had a band I had to keep together not be mourning... still. He gave me a quick nod before patting my back and getting up. They played three more songs and then went for lunch. Pies... yum.

The rest of the day went pretty quickly. Joy made me play with her outside on the trampoline, and Crystal even visited. She has been extremely nice to me lately
“Hey Ronnie” Crystal chirped with a wide smile. I laughed and she hugged me. “How have you been?” she asked
“Good I guess.” I answered hugging the small girl back. Joy giggled and sat cross legged on the trampoline I looked at her and cocked my head to the side.
“Is she your girlfriend?” Joy smiled; I shook my head violently at the little girl. She sighed and asked why. Crystal shook her head and laughed. We sat with Joy on the trampoline and explained to the five year old that we were just really good friends. That there was nothing going on between us. She nodded at us and smiled. Before skipping off inside to get a drink. Crystal laughed at me and patted my head.
“Ronnie you always know how to handle little kids” she smiled and kissed my cheek. “Your sweet, but I can tell you see who I think you can in that little girl and it isn’t right. Just trust me on this. You’re only seeing it because you miss her.
“Yeah I guess.”