You Promised You Wouldn't Leave My Side But You Did

The walk to Crystal’s house seemed to take forever. It was quite daunting, but once I was there it felt much better, I felt, as if nothing was going to go wrong anymore, and the only time I can recall having that feeling was with Juliet. She made me feel like everything in the world was okay as long as I had her. I wish she was still here to tell me what to do, but now she is going to hunt my dreams, my every thought. I went over the dream in my head. Maybe they will go away after I find someone, that’s what she wanted me to do in my dream. I thought to myself.
“Ronnie earth to Ronnie, you mentioned some kind of dream?” Crystal asked waving her hands frantically in front of my face,
“Yeah she was telling me to move on, and now it turns out she was murdered and Max knew and was hiding it from me and. Fuck I don’t know what to do Crystal.” I cried. She pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head for comfort, she knew it always worked.
“Maybe, this dream is trying to tell you that she doesn’t want you to mourn over her any more, it was a while ago now and I know it is annoying Brian. He says you never talk to him anymore. That you’re hiding from him or something.” Crystal told with a small sigh. I looked at her with a blank expression. Our faces were inches apart and for some reason my heart was suddenly racing. I pulled away from her and composed myself. Before punishing myself for my recent feelings towards her.

I promise Juliet I wouldn’t cheat on her ever again and this feels wrong. I’m not going to do it, not with Crystal. I shut my eyes tight telling myself over and over in my head that there was no way I could feel anything for Crystal. Nothing at all. Juliet was my world; I can’t just replace her so easily.
“Is there something wrong Ronnie?” Crystal asked moving toward me. I blinked a few times and shook my head.
“No”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive” I smiled and got up of the couch rather quickly. “I’m going to go talk to Brian... now” I told her moving away from her with every small step I took.

She gave me a funny look as if to say ‘Ronnie where are you going, please don’t leave me.’ I moved more quickly up the stairs and into Brian’s room. He looked a little startled to see me. But thankful, maybe it’s what I need, just to talk to one of the guys about how I was feeling. Maybe Brian wasn’t the best person to talk to but he sure as hell was better than Max right now.
I sat and talked to Brian for hours about everything. Sometimes he looked mortified and sometimes he looked sympathetic. But it was good to know he was still there for me as my friend and that I could trust him. I also told him about my recent feeling for Crystal. He seemed taken aback by the whole situation and didn’t know what to say. But I was expecting that from him. He is her cousin. He looks at her like she’s a sister and I can respect that he wouldn’t want her anywhere near me. Relationship wise.

Besides there was no way I was going to let myself be with her, even if it was what made me happy after everything that has happened?
Crystal is strictly my female best friend and nothing else, she will never be anything else to me. I thought to myself trying to imprint it in my brain. Because that is what Crystal Money will always be to me.... just a friend.