Remembering Sunday

"Mom?"

Answer the fucking phone!, I screamed in my head. The answering machine had picked up, and now I had to leave a message of some sort.

"I'm in town, and I need you to come pick me up. I'm calling from a payphone. Seth's not here. I'm all by myself without a car and I really need somewhere to go. If you're not answering because--"

The phone beeped, and a lady's voice came on.

"Your time has expired. If you would like to make another call or continue your current one, please insert another quarter. Thank you for using the Verison PayPhone."

"Fuck!" I yelled, slamming the phone back into its place in the tiny, square phone booth. I shoved my hands into my pockets, digging around for another trace of money. Thank God, quarter number two. I quickly deposited the quarter and called my mother, hoping for an answer this time around. Four rings, and my hope was answered.

"Laura?" my mother asked.

"Mom?" I asked, my hopes rising.

"Yes, dear. What's wrong? You sounded frantic in your message," she said.

"Can you please just come pick me up?"

"Where's your car?"

"Gone. Now can you please?"

"Where are you?"

"In the payphone out front of Starbucks."

"I'll be there in a few minutes, just hang tight."

"Okay." I hung up and exited the booth, relief sweeping over me. My head was spinning as I dropped down onto a nearby bench, morning sickness kicking in again. I had to hold it all back, at least for now. People walked by, giving me odd looks. Clearly they couldn't tell I was pregnant. My stomach wasn't the only thing I had to hold back, but my tears, too. I still couldn't believe how heartless I was for leaving Seth like that. Could I go back? No, I couldn't. There was no way in hell that he'd take me back, even if it had only been five hours ago that I left.

Tracy's Subaru pulled up alongside the curb a few feet down from me, my mother in the driver's seat and Tracy next to her. My mother didn't get out, but Tracy got out and rushed over to me as I stood up from the bench. She embraced me immediately, and I had no choice but to return it.

"Laura, you look awful! What happened? Did Seth hurt yo or something? God, if he did, I'm gonna tear that fucker up in--"

"Tracy, please, stop. Seth didn't do anything."

"Then why isn't he here?"

"I'll explain later, okay?" I sniffled and quickly wiped my eyes. "Just please take me home now."

Tracy seemed confused by the twist in her face. However, she said notihng more as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders and lead me to the backseat of the Subaru. My stomach did a complete three-sixty at the thought of the nauseating ride home in the car, but I swallowed roughly and took a heavy breath to relax myself. I slipped into the seat behinf the passenger's seat and leaned against the door, my hands clutching my stomach. My mother was twisted in the driver's seat to see me.

"Laura, what in h--"

"Mom," Tracy cut her off. "She's not feeling well. She said she'll
explain at home."

Thank you, Tracy, I thought to myself. I glanced at my duffel bags resting in the seats beside me, a new needle of sadness stabbing me. I tried to sob quietly, but Tracy caught me. She stared at me over the seat, her lips pulled down into a frown. The car rumbled a bit, but we were quickly driving away from the curb and headed home.

"Laura?"

I looked up from the pillow at my mother who was standing a few feet from the threshold. I didn't speak.

"Are you hungry for anything?" she asked politely.

Honestly, I didn't even want to smell any food, let alone eat it. Altohugh, I had not eaten anything for over a day, and I was absolutely starving from the pregnancy.

"Can I have some soup and crackers, please?" I asked. My mother nodded before disappearing into the kitchen, and I quickly buried my face into the fuzzy tan pillow on the couch. Tracy sighed on the couch diagonal from mine as she watched "Because I Said So" on HBO. She wanted to know what had happened to me, but I just wasn't willing to open up to her (or anyone) yet. My tears left dark wet spots on the pillow, but I just didn't care anymore. Besides, Tracy had left her tears in this pillow years before. I listened to the sounds of the movie from the pillow, but it suddenly switched from Mandy Moore's voice to a man's.

"Hey all, I'm Tony and you're watching MTV New Music. You just heard 'Weightless' by our friends All Time Low. Now we're going to switch over to a little pop-rock with the Australian duo, The Veronicas, and their latest single, 'Someone Wake Me Up.' Enjoy."

The song started off with soft keyboard sounds, paused, then picked up with the same keyboard melody but with a girl beginning to sing. Just from the first lyric, I knew it was going to be some sort of boyfriend and girlfriend song, but not the happy kind. Another pop-ish intrument chimed in, followed by a bridge, and then the chorus.

"It feels just like I'm going crazy
I guess that this is breaking up
Now not even you can save me
Will someone wake me up?
Never thought that we'd go under
I guess we won't be making up
And if this is a dream I wonder
Can someone wake me up?"

I wished that this whole massacre called my life was a dream.

"Tracy," I whined, fresh tears welling in my eyes because of how well I could relate to those lyrics. "Shut that shit off."

"Why?"she asked.

"Just do it!"

I lifted my head to show her my tear-ridden face and puffy red eyes, and she immediately shut the TV off.

"Sorry," she said with a frown. I merely nodded and dropped my head back into the warm pillow. My stomach lurched, causing me to groan and curl up into the tightest ball possible.

"Are you okay?" Tracy asked.

"No," I replied upsetly.

"Are you ready to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Okay."

"Laura, dear?"

I looked up to see my mother standing near the couch with a bowl of soup and a side of saltines. I didn't even hear her come back. I sat up quickly and took both from her, immediately diving into the soup like a starving animal. The broth was steamy, but it was Campbell's and I had gotten to the point in my pregnancy where I didn't give two shits what the food was like as long as it fed my baby and myself. My mother and Tracy looked surprised at how quickly I was devouring my soup, but I really didn't care. I finished all of it in about five minutes, and I was still hungry.

"How are you feeling?" my mother asked. I shrugged in reply. If only she knew how badly my heart was aching. I was a bit concerned at how cool and collected Tracy and my mother were being after our previous arguments. I didn't dare question it.

"Want anymore soup?" my mother asked. I nodded quickly, and she picked up my dishes and scurried back into the kitchen.

"So, where's Seth?" Tracy asked.

"Stooop," I whined, a horrible pain stabbing me just at his name.

"Are you going to tell me eventually?"

"Even when I'm in fucking pain, you're still so nosy! Why can't you just leave me alone until I'm ready to tell you, Tracy?" I snapped. Tracy blinked, prepared to say something, but she shut her mouth and looked away. Sighing, I pilled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them. However, I had to drop back into a regular sitting position when my mother returned with another bowl of soup, saltines and iced tea accompanying it. I ate my soup at a slower pace this time despite how my stomach was screaming at me to shovel it all down. Tracy turned "Because I Said So" back on, and the three of us watched it as I finished my lunch. The room was silent except for the movie and the soft clank of the soup bowl on the coffee table when I set it down. Tracy looked expectantly at me, but I shot her a glare and she focused her attention back on the movie.

Another hour went by and the end credits appeared in white on the black screen. During that hour, I had cried for about half of it. Not because the movie was sad or anything like that, but because I realized that Seth was probably awake by now and had realized I was gone. My mother sat beside me when she noticed my tears and gently rubbed my back. I figured I should let everything out now, even though it hurt.

"Um, guys?" I began. My mother stopped rubbing my back and looked at me. Tracy turned her entire frame to me, concern filling her eyes.

"I'm pregnant."