Remembering Sunday

"So, did you have a nice time with Tracy today?" Seth asked as we sped towards the nearest diner for dinner.

"It was okay," I answered. Honestly, I'd only spent under an hour with her before my fight with my mother, and then I left for good. Well, maybe not for good, but I didn't plan on visiting for quite a while. If my mother or Tracy tried to call, I didn't plan to answer.

"Was she okay?" he asked curiously as he turned his black Ford truck into the tiny parking lot of the diner.

"Seemed okay to me," I replied with a shrug. Once the rumbling of the truck stopped beneath me, I slid out the passenger door and wandered to the front entrance. Seth bounded up beside me and pulled the door open, his other hand on the small of my back, and lead me inside the twenty-four hour diner. The floor was tiled in the beginning where a podium sat as well as the register, followed by the complicated pattern of a maroon carpet with tiny white flowers etched into it and faded back into the diner where the tables and booths sat. The man working the podeum greeted us warmly, the brightest smile planted under his thin black mustache, as he pulled out two menus and lead us to an available booth in the corner of the diner.

"Can I start you of with drinks?" our waiter, Daniel, asked politely as he removed a small notepad from his pocket.

"Two Cokes, please," Seth answered. Daniel nodded, scribbled down our request, and disappeared behind the swinging doors marked 'Employees Only.' I picked my menu up and scanned it, feeling like having breakfast for dinner. An omelette, perhaps? Seth was grinning at me as I put my menu down. Typical. The twig already knew what he was getting.

"You need to eat more," I stated.

"Why?" he laughed.

"Cause you're the thinnest guy I've ever seen!" I said, and he
just smiled brightly at me.

"But don't you love me that way?"

"I love it when you're healthy, if that's what you mean."

"I am healthy."

"Whatever, Seth."

He smiled still, enjoying this. Eventually he reached out, weaving his fingers between mine and pulling our clasped hands to the center of the table. Seth's hands were warm, mine icy cold. The change felt nice, and I smiled.

"So, are you going to tell me or what?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Tell you about what?" I asked dumbfoundedly.

"About Tracy. What'd you guys do all day?"

Huh. Couldn't say it was all day.

"Nothing. Just talked," I said.

"That's it?" he asked, surprised.

"Just about," I replied.

"Man, I couldn't have talked to anybody for the whole day straight."

"You and I do that."

"Besides you, of course, but anyone else, nope."

I smiled. "It wasn't all day, Seth."

"It wasn't?" he asked. I was throwing him off, I knew it.

"Nope. Only for about a half hour. I couldn't stand to hear the words out of her mouth anymore."

"Was she going on about David or something?"

"No, not really," I said, hesitating what I was about to say next.

"Sooo . . . what was she saying?"

It was at that moment Daniel reappeared with our drinks. He set them down in front of us, then proceeded to pull the notepad out again.

"Ready to order, or do you need a bit more time?" he asked, his ballpoint pen already pressed against the paper.

"I'll have spaghetti, please," Seth said.

"And I'd like an omelette, please," I said.

"Sure thing. Those will be out in a bit." Daniel turned, quickly disappearing again through the doors. Hopefully Seth had already forgotten his question.

"So you were saying?" he asked.

Damn.

"She was talking about . . . us," I said, almost inaudibly.

"Us?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Is she mad too that we live together?"

"Well, not quite that, but the matter of when we . . . y'know . . . sleep together. She thinks we're not safe, but she doesn't realize that we always have been."

Seth seemed to shift uneasily in his seat, his lips twisted into an unsure line. Whether he noticed it or not, his hand squeezed mine. I frowned, getting the sense that maybe he might be hiding something from me, or maybe that the topic was just a touchy one when we were out in public.

"What?" I asked softly, my thumb rubbing the back of his hand.

"Nothing," he said. He forced a smile. "I just think it's silly that she worries about us when she's been on guy rampages before."

"That's not what you're all uneasy about," I stated, knowing he was lying. There was something he knew that I didn't. "What are you hiding from me?"

"Baby, can we talk about this later?" he asked a little sheepishly.

"No, now's good," I said, my frown still upon my lips.

He sighed. "It's just, I guess, uh, Tracy has reason to worry."

"What do you mean?"

"Last night . . . I, um, didn't tell you something." Seth bit his lip,
his eyes dropping onto his placemat. I froze in place, letting my hand slip out from his. At that motion, he looked up at me. I was leaning in close to him, my heart racing a little faster than it should. Did he . . .?

"Did you lie to me about the condom? Were you not wearing one or something?" I asked in whisper, but my voice was still edged with disbelief and worry. If that was the case, my heart was going to temporarily stop.

"No, no! Of course not! You know I'm safe. It was on, but it . . . it . . ." His voice was weak, his hand shaking a bit.

"Broke." I ended up finishing the sentence for him, and at my repsonse, Seth dropped his head and sighed heavily.

"Yes," he whispered, his eyes closing tightly. "I'm so sorry. I . . . I would have told you, but I didn't think anything of it. I thought everything was going to be okay and nothing would happen."

I felt my heart skip a few beats, but it didn't stop. I leaned back against my booth seat and contemplating the current situation in my head. The condom had broke. There was nothing more to the situation than that.

"Did you . . . well, y'know?" I asked quietly, fighting the tears. I was mad at Seth, that was for sure, but it was only a small pigment of anger compared to how worried and scared I was. I loved him with all my heart, but I just couldn't believe that he hadn't told me when it happened. I felt that something like that breaking was truly important! A lump formed in my throat, making it much harder to hold back my tears.

"No, I didn't. We stopped before that, I know it. That's why I didn't tell you. I had a gut instinct that everything was going to be fine, and I still have that feeling," he stated.

"Sometime's your gut isn't your best instinct," I retorted, a few tears slipping out of my tear ducts. Seth looked up at me after God knows how long and frowned, and I could tell his heart was sinking into the pit of his stomach.

"I understand that, but I really do feel you're okay."

"How could you not even tell me?!"

"Laura, I told you that I didn't think it'd be necessary! I didn't come to at all when it was happening! We stopped right in time, I promise."

"You still didn't tell me," I said, my voice beginning to crack. Seth reached out, his finger gently wiping away my tears.

"Baby, please don't cry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry! I'll do anything to make it up to you, I promise. Please don't be mad at me." He took my hand again, squeezed it, and then kissed my knuckles. The saddest look filled his eyes, and I remembered that look. Adam. He'd had the same expression in his eyes when his brother had died, and my heart felt as though it'd been stabbed when I saw it now.

I bit the inside of my lip, holding back even more tears just from seeing that and remembering Adam.

"You promise that you're absolutely sure that I'll be okay?" I asked quietly.

"I promise with all my heart and soul," he whispered.

"Okay." I knew I shouldn't go off of a promise, but Seth always
told me the truth.

"Thank you." He sighed and leaned across the table, planting a kiss on my lips. There was still a pang of anger inside me, but it would probably have disipated by tonight. For some reason, I could never be mad at him.